


Hardships of the Youngest Brother

by Thoschei_Destiel



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-02-26 20:30:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 85,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2665355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thoschei_Destiel/pseuds/Thoschei_Destiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyoya had always been used to being beaten by his father but when things escalate, he goes to his best friend for comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kyoya stumbled out of his family's house and called on the driver to bring the car around. He barely managed to keep his feelings contained as he waited outside the house for the car. He could hear his father and eldest brother arguing from inside. His brother was yelling at his father for what he had done to Kyoya and his father was yelling back. He heard the sound of flesh on flesh and he winced, knowing his brother had taken a hit from their father that usually would have been his. 

Everything was eerily quiet for a moment until he heard his father shout his name in a rage filled voice. Luckily it was then that the driver brought the car around and he jumped in as his father threw open the front door. 

"To Tamaki's." He said quickly and the driver drove off. Kyoya rode the entire way looking out the window, silent except his ragged breathing. 

In about twenty minutes he was at Tamaki's home and he slowly got out of the car. Once he was out, his driver left again and he limped towards the door. He leaned against the wall and reached up to press the doorbell, wincing. Not caring that it was almost half past midnight. 

He didn't even have to wait a minute before the door opened and Tamaki Suoh's grinning face appeared. "Kyoya!" He said gleefully until he took in the appearance of his best friend. He frowned deeply. 

Kyoya's normally tidy hair was a dark mess, his shirt was buttoned wrong and not ironed. It was also torn in places and stained with blood. His glasses were balanced precariously on his face and he stood at an odd angle. 

"Hello." He said much like he normally greeted Tamaki and he tried to stand up straight but winced. 

"Get in here." Tamaki said quickly and helped Kyoya into the house. He had seen his best friend in pain before but never as badly. Tamaki's arm went around Kyoya's waist and the dark haired boy winced. "Sorry." Tamaki said and he let Kyoya lean on him as they walked into the main room of the house. Kyoya was lowered on to the sofa and he winced as he sat. 

"Will you get me a glass of water?" Kyoya asked with his eyes shut, obviously in pain. 

"Of course." Tamaki said and went to the kitchen, getting him a glass of cold water. He brought the glass back into the room and knelt down on the floor next to the sofa. He pressed the glass into the other boy's hand and when Kyoya couldn't drink on his own, Tamaki made sure he wouldn't drop the glass and helped him. 

Kyoya was thankful but he didn't speak his thoughts. He opened his eyes and looked down at Tamaki's bright eyes filled with worry, for him. He didn't speak as he didn't trust his voice so he just stared down at the blonde, his strong, silent composure slipping away. 

"It's worse this time." Tamaki stated and Kyoya nodded. "This is exactly why I said you should just live here." 

"I can't live here. I just need a place to stay for the night. I'm going back home in the morning." Kyoya said, finally speaking. "I have to face him." 

"Don't be an idiot." Tamaki said and Kyoya's eyes flashed with anger but he didn't speak. "As your best friend. I will not allow you to go back there." Tamaki said and stood up. "You are staying here with me so don't argue." 

"No." Kyoya said shortly and glared at Tamaki who didn't flinch. "He will just be worse if I try to run away. He will be gone in a few weeks. I can handle it." 

Tamaki sighed. "You can't. Stop pretending. You don't need to act like this around me, Kyoya." He said and looked down at him. 

At Tamaki's words, Kyoya's veil fell completely and he looked up at the blonde. "You're right." He finally admitted in a whisper and Tamaki almost didn't hear him. "I don't think I can survive weeks of this. He was drinking again, Tamaki." 

"Oh god, Kyoya." He sat down next to him, remembering the last time Kyoya's father was drunk. He had raped his youngest son and beat him until he couldn't walk. "Did it happen?" Tamaki asked, getting extremely angry. No one hurt his Kyoya. 

The dark haired boy simply nodded, refusing to look at Tamaki. "My brothers got home and pulled him off of me." He mumbled, his breathing ragged as he struggled to remain calm. "I couldn't do anything. I was asleep and I woke up to him." Kyoya whispered. "He had me tied up after last time when I scratched him. They freed me and I ran here" 

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him, Kyoya." Tamaki said angrily and Kyoya leans against him, his head resting on Tamaki's shoulder. 

"You can't, Tamaki. Don't be so foolish." He muttered and closed his eyes. "Even if you had the guts to do it, I don't want you going to prison." Kyoya said quietly. 

"I can't kill anybody and I'm sure not going to prison. I wouldn't leave you alone with your family." He said but it was deeper than that for him, Kyoya wasn't just his best friend. He was in love with the shadow king and he thought it was unrequited. 

"Thank you." Kyoya said and meant it for the first time in his life. He winced as Tamaki's arms wrapped around him but he didn't mind the pain. "Tamaki... Why are you so kind to me?" He asked and opened his dark eyes. "What do you gain from it?"

Tamaki laughed softly and smiled at Kyoya. "I don't gain anything of material value and I don't need to. I gain the happiness of having you as my best friend. Not everything in the world is done for material benefit." He told him, his arms around Kyoya. "If everything was done for material gain, no one would be truly happy in the world." 

"I suppose you're right. I don't see the point to being happy though. What you gain is more important than being what most people's definition of happy is." He muttered, leaning against Tamaki and he looked up at him. 

Tamaki rolled his eyes. "I knew you it. You are ever happy are you?" Tamaki said, meaning it as a joke but Kyoya missed the joke. 

"Not really no. What do I have to be happy about? I guess I don't mind the host club and the money we make." Kyoya said and looked deeply in thought as he took his eyes off Tamaki. Part of him wanted to tell Tamaki that he was happy with him, which he was. 

"Well, you have friends and you're really smart. There is plenty of things to be happy about." He told him and frowned. 

"Not really. I have no ties to a stable future with two older brothers, the only thing I do outside school work is the club to make a little money. My family barely cares about me. I would leave except I don't want to leave my mother and sister alone with my father." Kyoya shrugged slightly. "Otherwise it wouldn't matter if I was there or not. I guess I don't matter anywhere except I manage to keep your club out of extreme debt." 

"You do matter, Kyoya. I don't want you saying that ever again. You matter to me." Tamaki mumbled the last sentence and blushed. "You matter to me much more than you like to think. You're not just my best friend." 

Kyoya looked up at him in surprise. "What do you mean? You can't make me feel better by using kind words like you do with the girls at the club." Kyoya rolled his eyes, thinking Tamaki was just leading him on. 

"I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, Kyoya. You matter a lot to me and I care about you." He said and finally kissed him. 

Kyoya was shocked but after initial shock of the kiss, he was kissing the blonde back. He reached up and ran his fingers through the soft blonde hair as he kissed Tamaki. He couldn't help but think of Tamaki's relationship with Haruhi after the year had ended. Kyoya knew the blonde had more feelings for her but that didn't stop him for kissing Tamaki. The thoughts were soon driven from his mind as he kissed the blonde next to him. Tamaki's arm wrapped around his waist to pull him closer and he gasped sharply in pain, his lips leaving the blonde's. He had been distracted by talking and kissing Tamaki but after the small shock of pain, he felt it all again. 

"Sorry, Kyoya." Tamaki said quietly when Kyoya had gasped and he looked at him. "You need to rest. Lie down and I'll go get ice packs for your back." Tamaki said and smiled slightly at him. He helped Kyoya sit up straight again before standing and heading out of the room.

Kyoya smiled a real smile as he watched Tamaki leave the room and he closed his eyes. He would have never admitted it but he did slightly enjoy Tamaki taking care of him, though he wished it was under better circumstances. He was lost in thought when Tamaki walked back into the room with his arms full of ice packs and Kyoya rolled his eyes. " I only need one or two." The dark haired boy said as the blonde set the ice packs on the couch. 

Tamaki raised an eyebrow slightly. "That's what you said last time." Tamaki reminded him, remembering that he had to call in his own private doctor as Kyoya was beaten so badly. "Take your shirt off." 

Kyoya nodded and tried to pull the shirt off over his head but when he couldn't Tamaki helped him. He was reluctant to remove the only article of clothing that was hiding all the marks on his body from his father. Tamaki coaxed him into slowly raising his as far as he could and then Tamaki gently removed the blood stained white shirt. "I'm going to need new shirts." Kyoya mumbled. 

Tamaki gasped as he saw all the wound covering his friend's torso. There were wounds on his chest and stomach as well as all down his back. Some looked as though they had been from being cut with a knife and others from being whipped with a belt. There were also bruises that were obviously made from someone's fist. "Kyoya... You can't live like this." 

"I have been living like this since I started middle school. It doesn't really matter anymore." Kyoya said as Tamaki helped him lay down on his stomach on the lengthy couch. "It's nothing I can't make it through. School starts up again in a few weeks and by then most of the bruises will be gone and so will my father. I'm afraid I won't be able to wear most of the costumes we had picked out already until the scars are light enough to cover up." Kyoya told him, acting as if his being beaten was simply getting in the way of his job. 

"Maybe you ought to take the first couple weeks without club duties." Tamaki said but he knew Kyoya would never agree as soon as the words were out of his mouth. 

"And watch you spiral into debt? No. I will be fine to work on finances even if I can't wear all the costumes you wanted me to." He said and winced as Tamaki started dabbing at the cuts on with a warm wash cloth, cleaning the wounds for him. 

Tamaki smiled fondly. "You always work don't you?" Tamaki teased and smiled when Kyoya laughed slightly. He gently cleaned the cuts and welts on the dark haired boy's back, the welts making the normally smooth skin swell slightly and turn an ugly shade of red. 

Kyoya winced as he allowed Tamaki to clean the wounds as he couldn't do it by himself. He hissed slightly at the stinging pain when the cloth brushed over one of the overly sensitive cuts. His eyes closed as he tried to remain calm, trying not to snap at Tamaki as he knew it wasn't Tamaki's fault that he was in pain. He clenched his hands into fists, biting his lip and focusing on controlling his breathing. After another five minutes, Tamaki got all the cuts clean on Kyoya back and he gently put the ice packs on his back. Kyoya didn't notice as the cold meet his red, swollen skin as he had fallen into a half sleep of sorts but he was still slightly conscious. 

Tamaki used all six of the ice packs he brought before draping the throw on the back of the couch over Kyoya. He smiled at his best friend and lightly kissed his temple. "Sleep, Kyoya." He told him quietly. 

Kyoya nodded. "Stay with me... Please, Tamaki." He said quietly and watched as the blonde boy sat on the floor next to the couch. 

Tamaki took his hand gently as Kyoya reached out to him. "Of course. I'm not going anywhere." He told the dark haired boy and he saw Kyoya smile slightly at him before the dark eyes closed. 

Kyoya was asleep within a minute and Tamaki sat on the ground next to him, just keeping an eye on his as he was worried. He had never seen Kyoya act as fragile as he did then, having never saw him omit the veil that he hides from the world behind entirely until that night. Tamaki had never seen him look so weak and he was terrified for him. He was also extremely angry at Kyoya's father. It was that man's fault that his Kyoya was hurting and made Tamaki more upset than almost anything else could have. 

Tamaki stood up and turned the lights off so Kyoya would sleep better. He sat down next to him again and held his hand. The blonde resting his head on the couch next to Kyoya's and closed his eyes. "I'll protect you..." He mumbled before drifting off to sleep as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Kyoya woke late the next morning with the sun in his eyes and blonde hair in his face. It took him a moment to remember why he was with Tamaki and when he did, he sighed heavily. He tried to stay quiet so Tamaki could sleep and he didn't want to get up yet himself. He shifted slightly and that was when he realized he was holding Tamaki's hand. 

He smiled slightly and ran his thumb over the soft skin. With a small sigh, he closed his eyes again and held on to the blonde's hand. After about ten more minutes, he heard Tamaki start to stir and he opened his eyes again. Tamaki rubbed his eyes with his free hand before turning to look at Kyoya, smiling. 

"Did you sleep well?" Kyoya asked and looked at him with a neutral expression though part of him wanted to smile. 

Tamaki nodded and smiled widely. "I did. Did you?" He replied, still holding Kyoya's hand as the other boy didn't attempt to let go. 

"I did as well, for the most part." He answered, not telling Tamaki about the nightmares he had as he doesn't want the blonde to worry even more than he already was. 

Tamaki grinned, believing him. "Do you want some breakfast?" He asked and sat up straight, still sitting on the floor.

"No. I need to go home." Kyoya answered and sat up slowly, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at the cuts and welts on his back. 

He shook his head. "You can't go home! Stay here where you're safe." Tamaki said and stood up. "I won't let you go back to that." 

"You have no choice in the matter, Tamaki." Kyoya told him coldly and stood up, gritting his teeth and wincing. He grabbed his shirt and put it on, buttoning correctly this time. "Do you have a jacket I can borrow?" He asked, needing something to cover his ripped and bloody shirt.

Tamaki pouted at Kyoya with puppy dog eyes. "Can't you stay here at least for today?" 

Kyoya sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, looking at Tamaki but not saying anything, trying not to give in. Eventually Kyoya nodded reluctantly. "Fine, but for only one more night." 

"Yay!" Tamaki grinned and looked at him. "You can wear some of my clothes for today." 

"I need a shower." He told him and crossed his arms. 

"Okay. Follow me." Tamaki said and started to walk out of the room. 

Kyoya followed him, walking much slower than usual as his entire body felt stiff and painful every time he took a step. It was worse when he followed Tamaki up the stairs, wincing at almost every step. 

This didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. "Are you okay?" He asked. "Would you rather bathe?" Tamaki questioned, obviously very worried about Kyoya and it showed on his face. 

"I'm fine. I don't need to bathe. I am perfectly capable of showering." Kyoya snapped, rather coldly, hating appearing at all weak though he felt weak himself. 

Tamaki shrugged slightly. "Okay." He said, not bothering to argue with the dark haired boy the second time. 

They walked upstairs together, Kyoya walking a little slower than Tamaki. He followed the blonde to his bedroom and Tamaki picked out a clean button up shirt and a pair of black jeans. He took the clothes from him with a slight nod of thanks and walked towards Tamaki's bathroom. 

Kyoya closed the door behind him and set the clothes on the counter before taking off his shirt, looking at the scars in the mirror. His sighed heavily and tried not to focus on how ugly the scars made his skin look. He was supposed to be perfect. That's what his father wanted and that's exactly what he planned to do. 

He turned on the shower and waited for it to heat up before taking off the rest of his clothes and getting in the shower. The water was much hotter than necessary and it burned the cuts on his back. Kyoya ignored the pain the water brought on, able to clear his thoughts of everything and his mind was pleasantly blank. He didn't have to worry. 

The shower took much longer than what was normal for him, but it made him feel better mentally though the physical pain was worse. He got out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist before looking at his back in the mirror again. A low sigh escaped his lips as he saw that some of the cuts had opened again. He out on the pants that Tamaki lent him but not the shirt as he didn't want to dirty it. He tried to clean the blood off his back but he wasn't able to get all of it and no matter what he did, the cuts wouldn't stop bleeding. 

"Tamaki!" He yelled the blonde's name, needing help cleaning the rest of the blood off of his back. As he heard footstep in the adjacent room, he unlocked and opened the door. 

"Yeah?" Tamaki asked, tilting his head slightly and forcing himself to look at Kyoya's face, no where else. 

"Can you help me with this?" Kyoya turned around to show Tamaki the blood running down his back again. "The scabs came off in the shower and I can't get them to stop bleeding." He told him and glanced over his shoulder. 

"Of course." Tamaki said and picked up the old towel Kyoya was using and started to dab at his back. As he cleaned the cuts, he noticed that Kyoya's skin seemed much more red than it did before when the cuts were bleeding. "I think we should bandage these. They are really red and I don't want them to get infected." 

He shook his head. "They aren't going to get infected. It's just that the warm water aggravated them." He said, hoping that his lame excuse would stop Tamaki from figuring out that he purposely used the water to burn himself.

Tamaki looked at him funny in the mirror, not used to this side of Kyoya. He was acting much more emotional than logical and Tamaki was scared. Kyoya refused to look at him and made sure that his face was hidden. Luckily, Tamaki decided not to to say anything. He knew, well, he hoped, Kyoya would talk to him when he was ready. 

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Tamaki asked quietly as he dabbed at the cuts on his back, doing his best to clean them. 

Kyoya nodded impassively and refused to look at Tamaki. The blonde was able to get the cuts to stop bleeding after a few minutes and they were mostly clean. 

"Please just let me bandage these." Tamaki said quietly, setting the bloody cloth in the skin. 

"No." Kyoya snapped at him. "I already told you once before and if I have to tell you again, I'm leaving." The dark haired boy sighed softly before turning to look at Tamaki. "If my dad sees them bandaged, he will just do it again. This time harder." He said and looked at the pouting blonde. 

"Fine." Tamaki sighed, deciding to change the subject before Kyoya got mad. "Let's go downstairs and I'll have the chef prepare something for breakfast." 

Kyoya nodded. "Alright." He put on the shirt Tamaki gave him, buttoning it up before walking out of the bathroom with the blonde following him. 

They walked downstairs together and Tamaki then went to the kitchen to tell the chef to prepare a special breakfast for Kyoya. Kyoya waited for Tamaki in the living room, taking a book of the bookshelf and flipping through it. He tried to distract himself from the pain, both physically and mentally. He struggled to focus on the book and ended up putting it back when Tamaki walked into the room. 

"Breakfast should be done in about fifteen minutes." Tamaki said and sat down on the couch, watching as Kyoya walked back to him, obviously in pain. He looked over him, frowning. "When was the last time you ate a full meal, Kyoya?" He asked as he noticed the way his shirt hung off his body, making him look ever more frail. 

Kyoya didn't look at him. "During the school year." He told him quietly. 

"Why?" Tamaki asked and sighed heavily, leaning back on the couch, looking at Kyoya. 

He doesn't answer him at first and turned so that his back was to Tamaki. "I eat too much and I gain weight. One more pound and that means I won't be perfect enough for my father. If I'm not careful he will take it too far and he'll kill me Tamaki." Kyoya told him and bit his lip, making sure Tamaki can't see his face. "If I'm not perfect... I can't not be perfect." 

"Kyoya, there's no such thing as a perfect weight. You are fading away and you look sickly. What do you weigh? 120 pounds? 115?" Tamaki moved closer to him and gently took his hand, his arm around him slightly. 

"It's none of your business. There is no reason for you to know." He pulled his hand away, standing up. "I should have never come here last night. I'm leaving." 

Tamaki stood as well. "If you leave, you're going to get hurt even more than you already are." He said, his usual cheery nature gone. "He's going to rape you again." 

Kyoya turned around, glaring at him. "Shut up, Tamaki. You always think you can fix everything, but you can't. This is not something you can fix by pouting at me until I give into whatever stupid idea you've come up with. Quit trying to make everything better." He took a deep breath to calm his temper. "I'm leaving now and you can't stop me." 

Tamaki stood in one spot in stunned silence as Kyoya started to walk out of the room, still limping in pain though he was trying to hide it. "Kyoya, if you leave... If you leave now you can't come back! You'll have to find someone else to go to when your father beats you senseless! Because if you don't want me to care I won't!" Tamaki yelled, not physically trying to stop Kyoya from leaving. 

"Do whatever you want Tamaki." He told him coldly before disappearing around the corner. He limped outside and called his driver, whom his father had already sent to collect him. 

He waited outside for about five minutes before the driver pulled up. He silently got in the car, putting on his seat belt as the car started to move. Kyoya tried to prepare himself mentally for what was going to happened when he got home. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, staying in the same position the entire ride to his house and to his father.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has rape in it. If this subject triggers you, skip the paragraphs after the break after Kyoya speaks with his siblings and read the last six paragraphs.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all for reading and leaving comments! I'm glad you enjoy my work!

Kyoya was glad that the ride back to his home took a while. It gave him plenty of time to collect his thoughts and by the time he had arrived in his drive, he was mostly prepared. 

He stepped out of the car after the door was opened for him and he walked towards the house. He made sure not to show any weakness as he made his way through the doors. Kyoya didn't hear anyone which could be either a good or bad sign. 

Suddenly he heard heavy footsteps and he tried to brace himself for whatever his father was going to do. It wasn't his father though, it was his sister. 

She threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly, not seeing Kyoya wince. "I'm so glad you're okay, Kyoya. When you left last night, I was so worried. Where did you go?" She asks hurriedly without even taking a breath. 

"I went to Tamaki's." He answered and gently pushed his sister away, looking down at her. He checked for any visible injuries but he saw none. 

Fuyumi breathed a slight sigh of relief. "I'm glad you have him." She said, having no idea about what Tamaki said to him. 

Kyoya nodded impassively and smoothly changed the subject. "Is Father here?" He asked her and looked down at her in time to see her shake her head. 

"No, he left for a meeting about twenty minutes ago. He will be back at dinner though and he expects you to be there. I over heard him telling Mom. All of us are expected to be there though, so he can't hurt you." She said, not removing her eyes from Kyoya's face and trying to see through his veil. 

"I am going to my room. I will be down at six thirty." He told her before turning to go to his bedroom. 

When he turned, he heard Fuyumi gasp. "Kyoya! You're bleeding!" 

"No I'm not." He said but reached back to check anyway. Kyoya touched his back underneath the shirt and when he pulled his hand away to look, it was covered in thick, red blood. "It's only a little. It's not a big deal." He started to leave agaim, but his sister followed him. 

"It's not just a little blood! You're shirt is turning red!" She said and ran in front of him, grabbing his hand and tugging him to upstairs to his bedroom and bathroom. "We can't let Mom see this." 

He rolled his eyes to hide the pain that shot through him. "Fine." Kyoya followed his sister upstairs, trying to hide any evidence that he was in pain. He struggled not to limp or wince at every tug on his arm by Fuyumi. 

She pulled him into his bathroom before shutting and locking the door. "Take off your shirt and sit." She told him and wet a cloth with warm water. 

Kyoya did as she said, unbuttoning his shirt and putting it in the other sink. Then he sat on the toilet lid with his back to her. 

"These are really bad this time, Kyoya. You need stitches." She said and gently started to clean the large cuts and welts on his back, for the third time. 

He winced slightly and he was glad Fuyumi couldn't see his face. "No. I just need to be more careful. I'll be careful and they won't start bleeding again. Stitches are completely unnecessary." Kyoya said and closed his eyes. 

"Whether you're careful or not, they will start bleeding again. Let me call one of the doctors. They could be here and gone by the time Father gets home." She said quietly, struggling to get his back to stop bleeding. 

Kyoya laughed coldly. "Yes, but he will see them and he will rip them out. And he won't even think twice about it." He said though he was beginning to get very light headed and pale from blood loss. He swayed slightly and had to grab the back of the toilet to keep from falling off. 

"This could kill you, Kyoya! Let me call a doctor then you can go back to Tamaki's and I'll just tell dad that I took you back." She insisted and watched as Kyoya almost fell, unable to get the bleeding to stop. "Please." 

"Considering Tamaki said I wasn't welcome there any longer, that will not work." He told her and he almost lost his balance again. 

"Your best friend would never say something like that to you!" 

"He did. He said if I left and put myself back into danger that I couldn't come back to his house ever again." Kyoya told her, his vision starting to blur and he tried to fix his glasses, but it didn't help. "Fuyumi..." He mumbled her name, trying to warn her. She didn't hear him as she was already talking again. Kyoya couldn't hear her and his vision went black as he fell off of the toilet, falling unconscious. 

He didn't hear his sister scream for help nor did he hear his brothers rushing to his aid. He didn't hear Fuyumi call the doctor and he wasn't able to protest getting stitches when he arrived.

  


Kyoya started to wake up at almost six o'clock, having fallen unconscious for almost five hours. The first things he heard were his siblings talking. 

"This can't keep going on. One more time like this and Kyoya is going to end up dead." He heard Fuyumi say. "We have to do something. Call the Japanese police?" 

"We can't call the police on our own father can we?" He heard one of his brothers ask, too out of it still to determine which one. 

"It's not something most people would do but I can no longer just sit and watch while Father beats Kyoya to within an inch of his life. We all heard the doctor, he can't stand much more of this before he breaks. Both his body and mind will be forever changed." Fuyumi argued. 

"You have a strong point, but we will have to find a way to prove that it is Father doing this to him. No one will convict him without undeniable evidence." His other brother said. 

"I don't want Father to hurt Kyoya again but the only way we can stop him is if we get the whole thing on camera." His brother, Yuichi, said. "I'll get the cameras and we'll set them up tomorrow when Father is at a meeting." 

"Should we tell Kyoya?" Fuyumi asked, looking at all three of her brothers. 

"No." His brothers said at the same time. Then Yuichi began to speak on his own. "Kyoya might not agree to it, because of how he is. He wants to impress Father, not send him to prison." 

"Okay." Fuyumi said and Kyoya felt her gaze on him. 

Silence fell and after a few minutes Kyoya pretended to start to wake up. He yawned slightly followed by a soft groan as he shifted. The yawn was fake but the groan was not as he felt the wounds on his back pull. He heard his sister get up then sit on the bed near him. 

He opened his eyes and she immediately started talking. "How are you feeling? The doctor came and you need fifty stitches. I know you said not to, but we thought it was for the best." She paused to breathe and Kyoya cut in before she could start talking again. 

" I'm fine." He said sharply and tried to sit up, but his vision blured and he had to lay down again. He ignored how he felt and he tried to sit up again, managing it the second time. "What time is it?" Kyoya asked and tried to get up but Akito pushed him down not so gently, causing Kyoya to wince. 

"Six o'clock." Akito answered. "I expect you want to go to dinner still, but you are going to stay up here and rest." 

Kyoya frowned slightly and looked up at him. " Our father will not be very happy about that. It would be best for everyone if I attend dinner tonight. I will be able to get plenty of rest afterwards." 

"He's right," Fuyumi said, "you need to stay up here and rest. We will tell Father." 

"No. I'm coming to dinner." Kyoya said. 

Fuyumi and Akito both opened their mouths to say something to Kyoya, but Yuichi cut them off. "If you can stand and walk on your own then you may attend dinner." 

Kyoya nodded and slowly got up from his bed. It was easy for him to stand, but as soon as he tried to take a step, his vision blurred and he fell. His brothers caught him and lowered him back onto the bed. 

"I suppose that decides it. Kyoya, you are not allowed to come to dinner tonight." Yuichi said and turned to leave, Akito following. Yuichi glanced back and looked at him. "Rest and don't let yourself worry about Father or the rest of us." He said before they walked down and out of his room. 

Fuyumi smiled slightly. "You heard him." She stood. "Text me if you need anything." She said and gestured to Kyoya's cell phone resting on the nightstand. 

"Alright. Thank you." He nodded slightly at her, watching her exit his room. When she was gone, he laid down on his stomach, closing his eyes. Kyoya began to drift off, trying not to move as his entire body hurt from trying to get up and walk. He pressed his face into his pillow and breathed heavily, trying to ignore the pain. He was no longer trying to hid his pain when he was alone. Eventually he fell asleep without meaning to. 

  


Late into the night, Kyoya was woken by the sound of shattering glass. He slowly opened his eyes as he heard his mother and father yelling at each other. Kyoya knew they were talking about him and he pulled a pillow over his head to block them out. Soon he heard the yelling stop and he breathed a quiet sigh of relief. His relief was short lived though. 

He heard heavy footfalls coming down his hall and he quickly pretended to be asleep, hoping that would deter his father though it never did. Kyoya remained still and silent, trying to ignore the door open and his father walking up to his sleeping area. He tried to keep his breathing even and hide his fear. It didn't fool his father. 

"I know that you are awake." He said quietly and looked down at him as Kyoya opened his eyes. His father shook his head slightly at him. "What did I tell you about bandages or stitches?" He said angrily and grabbed Kyoya's wrist, throwing him off of the bed and onto the floor. "Answer me!" 

"Not to. You told me not to, Sir." Kyoya mumbled from the floor, trying to hide the pain he felt when he hit the ground. 

"Exactly. Apologize. On your hands and knees." Yoshio told him. 

Kyoya did as he was told but struggled to move. "I am very sorry, Sir." He said and bowed his head. 

"That's better, but you have to be punished. You are aware of that are you not?" 

He nodded. "Yes, Sir." 

Yoshio smirked down at him and kicked him in the ribs, sending him falling to the floor. He kicked him again, harder the second time. "Get up and turn around." 

Kyoya got to his feet and turned his back to him, barely able to stay standing without holding on to something. He tried not to show any weakness and he didn't move or speak.

His father ripped the bandages off of his back and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to remain calm. Yoshio took a pair of surgical scissors and started to remove the stitches. To make it hurt more, he pulled the knots through Kyoya's skin. As he removed more and more of the stitches, bleed began to flow down his back. Once all of the stitches were out, Yoshio made several cuts on Kyoya's neck and arms before stepping back, watching him bleed. 

The teen struggled to remain standing, his eyes blurred with tears that he wouldn't let fall. Without warning, his father shoved him back on his bed and he landed on his stomach, laying horizontally on the bed. His lower body not completely on the bed. 

Kyoya tried not to fight against him or cry, feeling as his wrists were tied too tightly behind his back. He was gagged as well. He closed his eyes and tried to block everything out, evening his breathing. He was able to clear his mind and ignore the pain he was sure to feel later. 

He didn't react to anything his father did until his throat was grabbed and he couldn't breathe. His eyes opened and he felt his throat be released and he gasped for air, slightly coughing. 

When he came out of his almost trance, he felt waves of pain and tears filled his eyes again. He came to just in time to fill himself being penetrated. His sight blurred and he finally started to fight him. Kyoya didn't stay still and until he felt a knife at his throat, then he stopped moving. 

"What have I told you. You do not move unless I tell you." His father said angrily and grabbed his throat so he couldn't breathe. He held on to his throat and rentlentlessly thrusted into him. 

Kyoya felt his skin tear and he felt himself bleed. He started crying and gasped as his throat was finally released so he could breathe again. For a little bit, he just took the pain without making a noise or fighting but it started to hurt even worse and he couldn't take it anymore. 

He started to fight him again and this time he used his feet, angling his leg just right to kick him in the groin with his heel. He heard his father shout a little too loudly in pain and he cried out slightly against the gag when the knife sliced deeply across his back. 

Kyoya almost blacked out because of the pain as his father cut him over and over again, swearing at him threateningly. He thought that kicking his father hadn't been worth it when he heard the sound of running footsteps. 

His father swore and his brothers burst into the room, but it was too late as his father had already finished. 

One of his brothers pulled his father away from him and threw him to the floor. His other brother untied him and took off the gag. Kyoya heard his brother trying to talk to him but he didn't listen. He fixed his pants and then ran out of the room, pure adrenaline keeping him from crashing. 

He heard his brother calling from him but the only thing he could think of was to get as far away from his house, and his father, as possible. He ran into the garage, not even thinking as he got into one of the cars, the keys still in the cup holder. He started the car and the garage door was barely open when he sped out of the garage. He almost started to drive to Tamaki's when he remembered he wasn't welcome there anymore. 

He had no where to go. Then he remembered what Haruhi had once said to him; "If you need anything, my door is always open". Kyoya knew he would feel guilty going to her but he was desperate for help. He had no one else he could trust. 

He drove as fast as he could to her apartment, the other cars and the lights on the road nothing but blurs to him. A few times he almost crashed but he managed not to by a fraction of a second every time. His eyes started to close but he opened them just in time to miss hitting another car head on, jerking the steering wheel. He couldn't drive straight and he couldn't see anything except the brightness of the lights, but he kept going. Twice he blacked out. He was staring at the road when suddenly it was gone. All he could do was keep going as straight as possible. Kyoya knew it was a bad idea to keep driving but he was so close. 

Kyoya finally pulled onto her street and just parked the car in front of the apartment complex in the middle of the street, not even bothering to turn off the car. He got out and he finally felt the exhaustion hit him. He could barely walk as he dragged himself up the stairs to the second floor. When he reached the top, it took all his strength to reach Haruhi's door. He held onto the balcony rail,using it to reach the door and remain standing. 

He lifted his hand and knocked weakly several times. 

Inside, Haruhi awoke with a start. She glanced at her clock. It was three in the morning, she had no idea why someone would be at the door but she decided to get up and check. She grabbed a knife from the kitchen as a precaution and slowly walked to the door. After taking a deep breath, she opened it to see Kyoya standing there. "What are you doing here?" She asked, not noticing his condition in the dark. 

"I'm sorry... I had no where else to go." He mumbled before finally collapsing from blood loss. The last thing he heard was Haruhi scream as he hit the floor and fell unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4

Haruhi just stood there for a moment, trying to comprehend what was going on. She didn't have time to think though as she knew her friend was in serious trouble if he came to her. This was one time she wished her dad was home. 

She grabbed her cell phone off of the counter where it was charging and she immediately called the police, turning on the light as well. She did her best to inform them of the situation, but she wasn't very helpful as she had no idea what was going on herself. Haruhi told them woman who answered the phone about Kyoya's condition. She was told to try to slow the bleeding and an ambulance was on its way. 

The woman stayed on the phone with her as she got several towels from the kitchen and used them to apply pressure to the wounds on Kyoya's back. She noticed how he was barely breathing and she quickly checked his heart beat. At first she couldn't find one, but then she felt a small one that was barely there. She breathed a slight sigh of relief. Kyoya was still alive. 

Not even five minutes later, Haruhi heard sirens. She told the lady at the police station that the ambulance was there and she hung up, after thanking her for her help. In what felt like mere seconds, paramedics were rushing into the small apartment. Haruhi quickly got out of their way and watched as they loaded Kyoya onto a stretcher, an oxygen mask placed over his face. Kyoya wasn't moving. 

They rushed him out of the apartment without saying anything and Haruhi immediately followed them out, grabbing her keys and locking the door on her way out after them. She ran down the stairs after them and she insisted on getting in the ambulance with Kyoya. The man in charge knew she wasn't going to back down so he allowed her to ride with Kyoya. She sat in the corner of the back of the ambulance and watched as the paramedics tried to stop the bleeding.

She called her dad as she rode in the ambulance and she told him what was going on, letting him know that she was okay. Haruhi warned him there was probably lots of blood in the hall and she would clean it up when she got home. He told her not to worry about it and to call if she needed him. 

After she got off the phone with her dad, she called Tamaki. He answered the phone within four rings. "Haruhi? Do you know what time it is?" He asked though he didn't sound at all sleepy. 

"I'm sorry it's late, but it's about Kyoya-senpai. Something happened and he came to my house. We just arrived at the hospital closest to my apartment. He's bleeding out, Tamaki-senpai." She told him and she could hear him as he fumbled around with something. 

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Tamaki said and hung up. 

Haruhi stayed out of the way as they took Kyoya out of the ambulance, immediately taking him into surgery as the paramedics discovered internal bleeding as his spleen had ruptured when he was thrown to the floor by his father. 

She waited in the ER waiting room, trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay though she knew that wasn't very likely. 

After ten minutes, Tamaki burst into the waiting room, heading straight over to Haruhi. "Where is he?" He asked and looked down at her. 

"Surgery." She answered and Tamaki sat down next to her. "It's not good. I overheard the paramedics talking in the ambulance. He mostly likely has broken ribs, extreme external and internal bleeding, and probably a concussion." Haruhi told him and she couldn't stand to watch his reaction so she looked away. 

He put his face in his hands to hide his tears and cried slightly. "I shouldn't have let him left yesterday. Nothing would have happened to him if I would have made him stay at my house." 

"Senpai, you know Kyoya-senpai better than anyone else does. He wouldn't do anything he didn't want to no matter what you would have said to him. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this." Haruhi said and looked at him. "What exactly is going on with Kyoya-senpai? Who hurt him?" 

Tamaki looked at her, more serious than she had ever seen him. "His father. His father did this to him and I'm going to kill him." 

"You can't kill anyone. It would just make everything worse." Haruhi told him. "I see why you feel that way though. I know how much you care about Kyoya-senpai. I just can't believe his father would do something like this, considering how perfect they all try to act." 

"He drinks. He drinks then he hurts Kyoya. Kyoya allows it because he would hurt his mother or his sister otherwise." Tamaki told her and rests his head on his hand, his elbow on the arm of the chair. "Are they going to do a rape kit?" He asked her. 

She nodded. "Most likely. I had no idea what happened so I just said he was attacked."

"If it comes back positive, I really will kill his father." Tamaki muttered and leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes. "How long will his surgery last?" 

Haruhi leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. "A surgery like this should take five hours of its successful." She said and closed her eyes as well. "Don't worry; Kyoya-senpai will be okay." She said, starting to fall asleep. 

"I know..." He said quietly and opened his eyes again. He didn't say anything as Haruhi fell asleep against him. Tamaki knew he wouldn't be able to relax or sleep until he knew Kyoya was okay. 

After almost an hour, he could no longer stand sitting in one spot. He slowly got up and gently moved Haruhi, making sure she stayed asleep. He started packing up and down the waiting room, trying to walk his worries away. He couldn't get rid of the lingering thought that Kyoya was going to die. 

The time slipped away from him and he soon didn't know if it had been a couple minutes or a couple hours. He only realised how long it had been when Haruhi started to wake up. She rubbed her eyes before opening them to look at Tamaki. 

"Anything?" She asked quietly, scared for the answer. 

Tamaki shook his head. "No. I don't know if no news is better than bad news or if I would rather know what's going on." 

Haruhi nodded slightly. "I see where both could be appealing. With no news, you're left wondering if he's going to be okay. If he's going to wake up. But it also leaves you with hope. Whereas, bad news is closure but there's no hope." She said quietly as Tamaki sat down again. "Personally, I would rather know what's happening. Even if it's bad news." 

"I don't know which is better... All I know is that I want him to be okay." Tamaki muttered and slouched in his chair. 

"As do I." She said softly. "How long has it been?"

Tamaki glanced at the clock and sighed when he saw it was almost eleven o'clock. "Over seven hours. That can't be good." He mumbled and closed his eyes tightly. "I hate this. I need to know if he's okay." Tamaki said and stood again. "I'll be right back." 

He walked to the nurse's desk and went up to the first nurse he saw. "Hello. I want to ask about Kyoya Ootori. He's been here since almost three thirty and we haven't heard a single thing." 

"Are you family?" The nurse asked him as she looked up at him. 

"No, but I'm his emergency contact. His family is overseas at the moment so I was called to come in their place." He lied smoothly to the nurse and smiled charmingly at her. 

"Very well then." She said and smiled slightly back at him, obviously charmed by the blonde. She typed a few things into the computer, pulling up Kyoya's file. "According to this, he's still in surgery. He is not in very good condition. If he's as bad as this makes it seem, I would prepare for the worst. I'm am so very sorry." She said and bowed her head to him. "I will come get you if anything else comes up. You have my word." 

"Thank you." Tamaki said quickly and walked away before anyone could see his tears. He walked back into the waiting room with his head down, his hair hiding his face. Haruhi stood up as soon he walked in and she knew it was bad news as soon as she saw Tamaki. 

"How bad is it?" She asked him quietly and walked over to him. 

Tamaki looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. "The nurse said to prepare for the worst." He turned away and hit the wall with the side of his fist. "If he dies..." Tamaki mumbled, not finishing his thought and he slid down the wall, putting his face in his hands. 

Haruhi kneeled down in front of him and took his hand gently. "He's not going to die, Tamaki." She said, not using honorifics. "He's too stubborn for that." 

Tamaki laughed slightly and looked at her. "He is stubborn." 

"Exactly, so he'll be just fine. We just have to wait and soon he'll be yelling at you because you didn't sleep while he was in surgery." She said and smiled at him though she was close to crying as well. Haruhi didn't believe her own words but she would never let Tamaki know that. 

"You're right." He said softly and wiped his tears, sniffling quietly. He got to his feet and was helping Haruhi up when he heard his phone ring. He pulled it out of his pants pocket, looking down at the caller ID. It was an unknown number. He tentatively open the phone and pressed talk, also putting it on speaker so Haruhi could hear. "Hello?" 

"Tamaki? Is this you?" A female asked and Tamaki recognized the voice as Kyoya's sister. 

"Yes. Is this Fuyumi?" Tamaki asked and he heard her sigh in relief. 

"Thank god, I got the right number. I wasn't sure if this was yours or not, I just found it in one of Kyoya's books." She mumbled before getting back on track to why she called in the first place. "Is Kyoya with you? Is he okay?" 

"I'm at the hospital, but I'm not with him. He's been in surgery since three thirty this morning." He told her. "Was it his father again?" He asked, not really wanting to know the answer. 

"Yes." She told him quietly. "Is the surgery supposed to take that long?" 

Tamaki hit the wall again, but this time he was just angry. "Dammit. Can't you guys do something about it? You're his family! You are supposed to protect him!" He didn't bother answering her question, which was an answer in itself. 

"We called the police this time. Our father has been taken to jail and the police are trying to figure out which hospital Kyoya is at. Tell me where you are Tamaki." She said and he could tell she was trying to get their location for someone. He felt like everything she was saying was a lie. Her voice shook as she said it, she sounded scared, no, terrified. 

"Not yet. I'll call you when I can tell you." Tamaki said and hung up without another word, putting his phone back in his pocket. 

"Kyoya's sister?" Haruhi asked and looked up at him. 

Tamaki nodded. "Yes. Luckily at a small hospital like this it will take a while for them to find us. We need a safety up in case they do manage to find the right hospital." 

"You think she's lying." Haruhi saidasked, then continued. "So do I. She was way too scared to be helping the police. Do you think Kyoya's father is threatening them?" 

"There is no doubt in my mind that that is what's happening here." Tamaki told her and looked at her. "I need you to do a couple things for me. First, call Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai, then call Hikaru and Kaoru. We need a first line defense. While you do that, I'm going to go talk to the nurse again." He told her and walked toward the door. "Make sure the others are alone when you talk to them." 

She nodded and got out her phone, watching as Tamaki left again. He walked towards the nurse's desk, not paying attention to where he was going and he ran into the nurse he was talking to earlier. 

"I am so sorry." He said and bowed slightly to her. 

"Don't worry about it. I was just on my way to tell you that Kyoya Ootori is out of surgery, but he is in a coma. They don't know when he will wake up, but you are welcome to go see him. He is in our Intensive Care unit on the 3rd floor, just tell the nurse there that I sent you and she'll let you know the room number." She told him and smiled. 

"Thank you very much." He said and bowed deeply to her. "Can I ask you for another favor?" 

She nodded, "I'll help if I can." 

"This may be a lot to ask but I need Kyoya's records to be completely hidden. Whoever attacked him is trying to find him again and I'm very worried about Kyoya. If you can, no one outside can know where he's at." He told her and gave her his most charming smile. 

She smiled widely. "I will do everything I can." 

"Oh, and before I forget, five others beside myself are coming. Haruhi Fujioka, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, Mitsukuni Haninozuka, and Takashi Morinozuka. They are all safe, trust me. My name is Tamaki Suoh, I don't believe I told you before." He told her and smiled. "Thank you very much again." He bowed and then kissed her cheek before walking back to the waiting room, positive she would help. 

Haruhi was on the phone with Honey when Tamaki walked back into the waiting room. He was there long enough to hear Honey agree to come and to bring Mori with him. He smiled at Haruhi as she hung up. "I've had Kyoya's records hidden from anyone calling in or arriving looking for him except the six of us. No one will be able to find him." 

"Alright, sounds good. What is the plan for when everyone else gets here?" She asked and looked at him. 

"The twins will stay outside and watch the entrance, they have to do it without drawing attention to themselves though. Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai will be outside the room, like bodyguards. Then you and I will sit with him until he wakes up. You will also be the head of communications. If anyone notices something odd, they'll text you then you'll let everyone else know to be on guard." Tamaki explained to her, needing to make sure Kyoya was safe. "I'm going to go upstairs right now. Once everyone is here and has checked in, send everyone to their positions. Are you okay with this plan?" 

She nodded and smiled. "Yes. I'm willing to do anything to protect my friends. Now, I have everything handled down here. Go upstairs and see him. I can tell that's all you want to do right now." 

"Thank you." He said softly and hugged her tightly before jogging away towards the elevators. He waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive and as soon as the doors opened, he got in and pressed the third floor button. He tapped his foot, bouncing slightly as he waited for the elevator to stop at the third floor. As soon as the elevator stopped and the door opened halfway, he slipped out of the elevator and walked as fast as he could to the check-in desk. "I was told by a nurse in the emergency room that Kyoya Ootori had been moved up here? I'm his emergency contact." Tamaki told the nurse sitting there. 

The nurse looked at the computer for a second before nodding. "Yes, he's here and you can go see him if you wish. Room 315." 

"Thank you." Tamaki bowed his head slightly before rushing down the hallway towards Kyoya's room. 

He stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath then slowly opening it. What he saw immediately brought tears to his eyes. Kyoya laid in the bed not moving except for the slow rise and fall of his chest made possible by the several machines he was hooked up to. He was hooked up to a ventilator to keep him breathing, he had several IV lines in his right arm, bandages were wrapped around his entire torso, and he had a TPN in his arm as well. He also had a chest tube to removes excess fluids, as well as electrodes on his chest to keep track of his heart rate. He was dependent on the life-support system. 

Tamaki slowly made his way over to him and gently took a hold of his left hand. His other hand reached up to stroke his hair. "Kyoya... I should have done more to help you. I am so sorry. You wouldn't be laying here right now if I would have made you stayed with me." He whispered as tears ran down his cheeks. 

He leaned down and pressed a soft, slow kiss to his forehead. "You can't die on me, Kyoya..." He mumbled, not hearing Haruhi come into the room, and he cried heavily. "Please wake up. I can't seeing you like this. I can't stand feeling like I'm going to lose you forever. I can't lose you because I... Because I love you, Kyoya. Please come back to me." Tamaki begged, clinging to his limp hand. "I love you so much." He whispered to Kyoya, not knowing Haruhi was in the doorway, crying as she looked at the two of them. She was scared, having never seen her friends so vulnerable. 

She stood in the doorway, watching as Tamaki sobbed with his forehead against the edge of the bed and he still clung to Kyoya's hand. Suddenly, she heard the monitor flatline and her heart skipped a beat.


	5. Chapter 5

Tamaki looked up as he heard the monitor flatline and time froze for him. He was glad Haruhi was there because he couldn't move. His heart raced and he couldn't form a coherent thought, breathing raggedly as tears ran down his cheeks. He could hear Haruhi calling for help, but he still couldn't make sense of what was going on. 

Several nurses and a doctor came running at Haruhi's calls for help. She walked quickly over to Tamaki and led him out of the way to the side of the room as the nurses and the doctor rushed in. 

He leaned against the wall in the corner, sliding to the ground and pulling his knees to his chest, watching in horror as they tried to resuscitate Kyoya. Haruhi sat down next to him and grabbed his hand tightly. Tamaki leaned against her and Haruhi could feel him trembling. He clung to her hand, looking away when the doctor wasn't able to get Kyoya's heart beating after the third use of the defibrillator. 

"No... Please God no..." Tamaki mumbled over and over again, keeping his eyes closed. He tried to block out of the sounds of the doctor but he heard him say that they would try using he defibrillator once more before calling it. 

Tamaki blocked out everything else by covering his ears and mumbling to himself until Haruhi started to shake him slightly. Once he looked at her, she removed his hands from his ears gently. He was able to hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor and he sobbed in relief, putting his hand over his mouth. He got to his feet and walked over to Kyoya, almost pushing a nurse out of his way. 

He took Kyoya's hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. "Don't scare me like that ever again." Tamaki whispered though he knew Kyoya had no control over his body. "I know you'll be okay... You have to be okay..." He mumbled brokenly and kissed his forehead lightly. 

The doctor and the nurses left the room after they made sure Kyoya's vitals were stable, leaving Haruhi and Tamaki alone with Kyoya again. 

"Do you think he'll survive this? Do you think he'll still be our Kyoya if he ever wakes up?" Tamaki asked her without looking away from Kyoya, playing gently with his hair and sitting on the bed next to him. "I want you to tell me your honest opinion." 

"I... I honestly don't know if he'll be okay. I could guess, but that's all it would be and I don't think that would be at all helpful. Though I do think he will be at least a little different. No one goes through something like this without changing somewhat. It might not be obvious though. He might just be slightly more jumpy, or he could have PTSD from something like this. He won't come out of this unscarred; mentally or physically." Haruhi said and sat in a chair on the other side of Kyoya's bed. "The only thing we can do is just stay by his side and help him. That's what he's going to need from us." 

Tamaki stayed silent as he listened to her and he nodded when she finished. "You're probably right. Right now, all we can do is hope he wakes up." He whispered and gazed down at Kyoya, absentmindedly stroking his hair. 

Haruhi smiled slightly as she saw how lovingly Tamaki looked at Kyoya. "How long have you loved him?" She asked as she had never seen Tamaki look at anyone else the way he looked at Kyoya. 

"It's that obvious, huh?" He looked up at her and smiled slightly. "I don't know. Probably since when I realized what he was really like. When he stopped hiding how he really was from me." Tamaki said and smiled, looking down at Kyoya again. "It might have been even before that. I mean, I knew I liked him before that, but I think that was the tipping point. He is extremely good looking which sweetened the deal." He said and chuckled softly.

Haruhi laughed slightly. "You never made it obvious until now. Does Kyoya know how you feel about him?" She asked, trying to distract Tamaki from thinking about Kyoya's condition. 

"I never thought Kyoya was interested so I never bothered to show how much I cared for him. Maybe I should have... I don't know. Around girls, I feel so confident and I fell like I can't say the wrong thing. It's the opposite when I ever I try to talk to Kyoya about how I feel about him. I get tongue tied and scared. The few times I've seen Kyoya actually smile, I get butterflies in my stomach. God," he muttered and put his head in his hands. "I am so in love with him..." 

Haruhi smiled. "I can't believe you never realized Kyoya liked you. You hid it better than he did. He refused to look at you when you were with girls at the host club. He did not like the way girls fawned over you; he hated it." 

Tamaki smiled slightly and looked over at her again. "Really?" He asked, seeming a little too happy about that. 

"Really." She said and laughed softly, looking at Tamaki. 

He smiled slightly to himself as he looked down at Kyoya again. A soft sigh left his lips and his smile fell when he was saw Kyoya again. He looked so fragile. He reached up and gently caressed his face, hating how cold his skin felt. "I regret not telling him sooner. I feel like there's no hope for us now..." He whispered. "Maybe if I would have told him sooner... Maybe it would be different." 

"I don't think it would be. I think this might have happened sooner if the two of you were together. I think his father would have found out about the two of you and beaten him like this much earlier." She said and she glanced down at Kyoya. "I don't think there's no hope. There's still a chance that he'll wake up." 

Tamaki nodded slightly. "I wish the odds were good... I wish he had a ninety percent chance of waking instead of a twenty percent chance." He mumbled, having overheard the doctor talking to a nurse. "If he doesn't wake up... I don't know how I'll cope." He whispered and gently stroked Kyoya's hair, leaning down to gently kiss his forehead. "Please come back to me. I need you next to me always." He mumbled so Haruhi couldn't hear, grabbing Kyoya's hand gently. "I love you so much, Kyoya. You can't leave me." He whispered to only him and he felt Kyoya's hand move.

His head shot up and his eyes widened. "His hand... It moved." He said and looked at Haruhi. 

"Are you sure?" She asked, thinking Tamaki imagined it. 

He nodded and looked at her. "I'm absolutely positive. He just grabbed my hand." He said and stood up. "I'm going to go get the doctor. I think he might be waking up." Tamaki said excitedly and he was out the door before Haruhi could stop him. 

He returned to the room a couple minutes later with the doctor following behind him. Tamaki had already told the doctor what happened so he went to the monitor to look at his brain activity. 

"There was a slight in change in brain activity about two minutes ago." The doctor said, looking at the monitor still. 

Tamaki grinned and glanced at Haruhi before looking back at the doctor. "Does that mean he's waking up?" He asked hopefully. 

"Not necessarily, but it is a good sign. It shows his mind is still functioning, but it doesn't mean he's waking up. The chance of him waking is stronger now. I would think it's about fifty fifty now." He told them. "Unfortunately, there is still nothing I can do to make the process faster. We still just have to wait and see what unfolds. Please let me know if anything else changes." The doctor told them before starting to leave the room. 

Tamaki stopped him by asking a question. "What's wrong with him?" 

The doctor stopped in his tracks and started speaking without looking back at him. "He has a concussion, his spleen was ruptured as someone or something hit him, he also has several broken ribs, severe blood loss, and we also did a rape kit; it came back positive." He answered and walked out before Tamaki could react. 

Tamaki clenched his fists and walked calmly toward the wall before hitting it as hard as he could, making Haruhi jump in surprise. "I'm going to kill him! Next time I see Yoshiro Ootori I will kill him for hurting Kyoya!" He yelled, feeling more anger than ever before. 

Haruhi opened her mouth to speak, to try to calm Tamaki, when Honey and Mori walked in the room as they heard Tamaki yell. "Tama-chan, stop yelling please." Honey said seriously but smiled at him. "Please apologize to Haru-chan as well." 

"I-I'm sorry, Haruhi." He mumbled quietly but sincerely. "I'm just scared... I don't want to lose him." He whispered and walked towards Kyoya again, sitting on the edge of the bed. He took his hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb. "I can't lose him." He mumbled inaudibly and started crying. 

Honey started crying as well when he saw Tamaki crying and he quickly left the room before he started sobbing, Mori following him out. 

The two sat in silence, Tamaki looking at Kyoya and Haruhi looking at Tamaki. The only sound was the steady beeping of the monitor tracking Kyoya's heart beat. Even Tamaki's crying was silent. 

  


For a week, there were no positive changes in Kyoya's condition. He only got worse and worse. He stopped reacting to the medication they were giving him and his heart beat got slower and slower. 

Tamaki didn't leave the entire week. He refused to leave Kyoya's side as he was scared Kyoya would wake up without him or that he would die alone.

The rest of the host club stayed at the hospital in shifts to watch the outside. Every time Haruhi came in for her shift, she brought clean clothes for Tamaki and she would make sure he ate and slept. 

One day when the host club brought dinner to Tamaki and they were all sitting there talking, Kyoya's doctor came in with very bad news. 

"I'm sorry to inform you that Mr. Ootori is no long responding to the medication we gave him. Nothing we've tried has worked and we're out of options. Now, he's either going to wake up on his own or not at all. There's probably only a five percent chance he'll pull through this now. I'm very sorry." The doctor bowed his head slightly. "In cases similar to this, we take off the life support and give the patient their best chance on their own because right now, he's just suffering. I recommend this option but I'll let you all talk it over." He told them honestly and bowed before leaving the room. 

No one spoke or moved until Tamaki got up and sat next to Kyoya on the bed. He started stroking his hair as he spoke. "The doctor's right. He does look like he's suffering now. I don't think Kyoya would want to live attached to machines. I don't want to lose him, but I can't stand seeing him in pain like this." Tamaki said and started crying slightly. "I think we should take him off life support." He whispered and his voice broke as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

"I think you're right, Tamaki-senpai. He doesn't deserve to suffer like this." Haruhi said quietly and the others mumbled their agreement. 

"It what his family would do. His brothers and sister wouldn't want to see him in this much pain." Tamaki said and gazed down at Kyoya as he played with his hair. "Will you go get the Doctor, Haruhi?" 

She nodded. "I'll be right back." She said and stood up, walking quickly out of the room to hide her tears. 

"Can... Can you all give me a moment?" Tamaki asked quietly without looking away from Kyoya. 

The others silently nodded and got up from their chairs, leaving the room. Honey crying and the twins close to crying. 

Tamaki moved his hand and gently stroked Kyoya's cold, pale cheek. "I wish I could have protected you. I wish I could have saved you from this fate. But most of all, I wish I had told you I love you much sooner. I just hope you know how much I love you, Kyoya, and how I always will." He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips, unable to actually kiss him. "I doubt you can hear me, but please don't be scared Kyoya. If I lose you, at least you'll never have to feel pain like this again." Tamaki kissed his cold cheek before sitting up straight, signaling to the others that they could come back in. 

At the same moment, Haruhi arrived with the doctor. "I hear you have made the choice to stop all life support." He said and walked towards the bed and the machines. "Is this the choice you have made?" 

Very slowly, Tamaki nodded. "We don't want Kyoya to suffer anymore." 

The doctor nodded. "That is very understandable. I am very sorry that you had to make this decision." The doctor said and looked at the machines, noticing Kyoya was even worse than that afternoon. He walked over to the unconscious boy and lightly touched his forehead, feeling how cold he was. He also noticed that he had central cyanosis most likely caused by acute respiratory distress syndrome. The doctor turned to look at the heart monitor, seeing that his heart rate was only 30 beats per minute. "I believe you have made the right decision. He's extremely weak." 

Tamaki looked at him. "What do you have to do to turn off the life support?

"As there is a very, very slim chance of him living, we will just turn off the ventilator. If he breathes on his own, the other things may yet be necessary." The doctor told him and looked at him. "I will turn it off as soon as you tell me to." 

"Can I hold him?" Tamaki asked quietly, not taking his eyes off of Kyoya. 

The doctor nodded. "If you wish." 

Tamaki started crying softly as he moved so he could gently pull Kyoya into his arms. He held him tightly and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "I love you." He mumbled to Kyoya before looking up at the doctor and nodding slightly. 

The doctor turned off the ventilator then walked over, gently taking the tube out of Kyoya's windpipe so he could try to breathe on his own. Tamaki felt Kyoya's body move slightly in his arms as his chest started to rise and fall. Kyoya began breathing on his own and Tamaki looked down at him, smiling through his tears as he cupped his face. He was looking down at him when Kyoya's eyes began to flutter. A moment later his eyes opened weakly and he looked up at Tamaki, his eyes unfocused. 

"Kyoya?" Tamaki whispered and everyone looked up with tears in their eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Kyoya looked up at Tamaki, the blonde extremely blurry until his eyes started to focus. "Of course my heaven would be you, Tamaki." He muttered, his voice raspy. 

"I'm flattered you think so, but you don't have to worry about that right now. You're alive, Kyoya." He whispered, happy tears streaming down his face. "You didn't leave me..." 

"I wouldn't dream of it..." Kyoya whispered and weakly wrapped his arms around Tamaki. 

Tamaki held Kyoya tightly, but he was very careful not to hurt him. His arms stayed tightly wrapped around the dark haired boy as Kyoya rested his head on Tamaki's shoulder, relaxed but afraid to close his eyes again. 

"I was so scared that I was going to lose you... I couldn't lose the love of my life." Tamaki whispered to Kyoya, holding him to keep him from collapsing back on to the bed as he was still extremely weak. 

Kyoya slowly lifted his head and looked at him. "You love me?"

"Yes, Kyoya. I love you." He whispered so only Kyoya could hear him and he kissed the top of his head gently. 

"I love you too, Tamaki." Kyoya mumbled back and rested against him, feeling himself start to fall asleep again as he felt safe with Tamaki. 

With a look from the doctor, Tamaki gently shook him awake again. "Wait a couple more minutes then you can go back to sleep. Your doctor just has to check your vitals then you can sleep and I'll be right here next to you." 

Kyoya easily agreed by nodding, obviously very ill as he never tried to hide how weak he was. Haruhi guessed Kyoya hadn't even realized that anyone but Tamaki was there. It scared the other members of the host club to see Kyoya like that. He seemed broken and they had always thought Kyoya was the one who had it together the best. No one had realized how bad his home life really was. 

Kyoya struggled to keep his eyes open as the doctor checked his vitals. His blood pressure was 80/50, his oxygen saturation was only 72, and his temperature was 104. Even though he had a terrible fever, Kyoya was shivering and trying to get closer to Tamaki for warmth. 

"Tamaki... I can't breathe..." Kyoya suddenly mumbled, struggling to inhale and he grabbed Tamaki's shirt. He started coughing, too weak to raise his hand to cover his mouth, and he accidentally got blood on Tamaki's shirt as he coughed. "I'm... Sorry..." He managed to say weakly before coughing again. 

His coughing finally paused and he started to fall asleep again as he felt Tamaki lift him up slightly. The doctor put a nasal cannula in around his ears and in his nose, helping him breath. He was able to breath a little easier once he had a extra oxygen. Kyoya started coughing again but it wasn't as rough as before though he still coughed up a little blood. He tried to shift slightly but he wasn't able to until Tamaki helped him and he sat up a little bit more so it was easier to breathe. 

Kyoya feel asleep as soon as the doctor was finished checking everything he needed to. He was curled up against Tamaki, holding on to his shirt very lightly. 

The doctor was about to leave before he looked at Tamaki again. "I would change your shirt." 

"For what?" He asked and raised an eyebrow slightly, not caring that the blood was there. "It's just a little blood." 

"The nurse didn't tell you yesterday?" The doctor asked and frowned deeply, nervously running a hand through his hair. "Well, there's a strong possibility that Mr. Ootori has contracted HIV." 

Tamaki's face fell and he looked down at Kyoya. "That can't be..." He mumbled, not wanting to believe it. 

"I'm afraid it's true. From the tests we did, it seems like he's had it for almost a six months. He needs to be put on medication as soon as possible." The doctor told them and walked over to Kyoya, tilting his head and pushing his hair away from his neck. "See the hard bumps? His lymph nodes are swollen. He also has a bad fever. Both of which are common symptoms of HIV." He explained. 

"Is weight loss also a symptom?" Haruhi asked suddenly. "He lost too much weight in six months for it to be healthy." 

The doctor nodded. "Yes. I had intended to ask about that. He's too thin for his age and height." He answered, looking at Haruhi. 

"Six months ago was when his father got back from America after three months away." Tamaki said quietly and gently laid Kyoya back on the bed as he got up for a moment, unbuttoning his shirt and grabbing a clean one out of the bag Haruhi brought for him. "He raped him and gave him HIV." He said angrily before taking a deep breath to calm himself, putting on his shirt with his hands shaking out of anger. 

"The DNA we found was a match for his father, Yoshio Ootori. If you wish, we can call the police and report what happened. We haven't yet because of the fact you're hiding him." The doctor said and looked at Tamaki.

"Call the police but make sure they do not contact Kyoya's family until I say so." He said and looked at the doctor. "Kyoya's awake now so we know that there won't be a murder charge but there should be a rape charge and an assault charge." Tamaki said and sat back down on the bed by Kyoya. "I can't get HIV by sitting with him when he's sweating right?" 

The doctor nodded. "Correct. The transmission is usually sexual or when blood meets blood. I would recommend anyone who touched him while he was bleeding to get tested for HIV just to be on the safe side. Who touched him while he was bleeding?" 

"Haruhi and I." Tamaki answered and glanced over at her. 

"My dad cleaned up the blood so he might have too." Haruhi said and looked at the doctor. "What's the chance of us getting it too?" 

"It's extremely small. Less than five percent." He told them and smiled reassuringly. "If you didn't have any open wounds, you don't need to worry about it as much." 

Haruhi felt slightly better and she nodded. "I don't believe I had any cuts." She said and smiled slightly. 

"Neither did I." Tamaki said softly and looked down at Kyoya, playing with his hair gently. 

"Good." The doctor smiled. "As soon as he is strong enough to take pills, we will start him on Triumeq. I think he will tolerate it well. Please let me know if there are any other changes or if he wakes." 

"We will." Tamaki said quietly and looked down at Kyoya again, his back to the others so no one could see his tears. He waited until the doctor left the room before he spoke. "Why Kyoya? What did he do to deserve this? It's not fair." He mumbled and tears rolled down his cheeks as he gently ran his fingers through Kyoya's hair. 

"He didn't do anything. The world is just cruel like that." Haruhi said quietly. "It isn't fair at all." She agreed. 

Tamaki sniffled slightly, trying to control how slowly his tears fell as he didn't want to start sobbing. "Kyoya has done so much for me... I would take away all of his pain, I would do anything for him. I feel so useless because I can't help him." He whispered and put his face in his hands, trying not to cry any heavier. 

He suddenly felt arms wrap tightly around his waist and he moved his hands, seeing Honey hugging him tightly. "Dont cry, Tama-chan. Kyo-chan will be okay and soon he'll be able to take his medicine. Then he'll live a long, long time with you, Tama-chan." 

"Yeah... Yeah, you're right Honey-senpai." Tamaki said and hugged the small blonde back tightly, feeling slightly better at Honey's words. "Thank you." He whispered to him. 

"You're welcome." He whispered back and hugged him tightly before pulling away, looking up at him. "Tomorrow Takashi and I will bring cake, then we will all eat it together." Honey said happily and smiled widely, sitting back down. 

"Alright, I would like that. I think Kyoya would like it too." Tamaki smiled and looked down at Kyoya, taking his hand gently. 

Tamaki laid down next to Kyoya, pulling him into his arms. A small smile crossed his face when Kyoya tried to move closer to him and he shifered himself closer to Kyoya. Kyoya's head rested on Tamaki's chest and Tamaki played with his hair gently. As he listened to the others talking, he started to drift off. He hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the last few days and once he knew Kyoya was going to wake up again, he realized just how tired he was. Tamaki easily fell asleep with his arms wrapped protectively around Kyoya. 

Hikaru was the first to notice that Tamaki and Kyoya were asleep. He told the others and everyone started talking quieter, knowing the two of them needed their sleep. After they spent almost another hour talking, Hikaru and Kaoru were the first to leave. Mori left a little later, Honey staying as he was on lookout with Haruhi that night.

Kyoya and Tamaki slept deeply even with Haruhi and Honey talking as they stood outside of the room. 

"Tama-chan really loves Kyo-chan doesn't he... I wonder if he feels as strongly as Tama-chan." Honey said and looked over at Haruhi. "What do you think?" 

"I think it would be a safe bet to say that Kyoya-senpai loves him very much. He didn't even notice the rest of us when he woke up. He saw Tamaki and he didn't need to see anyone else to know he was safe. If he trusts Tamaki that explicitly, it has to be love, right?" Haruhi pondered and leaned against the wall. 

"Right." Honey nodded and smiled widely. "I wonder if they'll be in a relationship after this. Do you think Kyo-chan allow it once he learns what danger Tama-chan would be in?" 

She didn't say anything for a moment, considering Honey's words. "I don't think so, but you know how persistent Tamaki-senpai is; even if he's putting himself into danger. I doubt Tamaki-senpai will care if Kyoya-senpai has HIV. I don't think it will change anything for him." She smiled slightly. "I think it would be good for both of them to have each other like that. They need each other. No matter how much Kyoya-senpai tries to hide it, I think he needs his host club family as much as Tamaki-senpai does." 

"You're right, Haru-chan." Honey smiled broadly. "I think we all need each other. That is why we're all here for Kyo-chan, because we're all family." 

Haruhi nodded and smiled. "Honey-senpai, can I ask you something?" She looked over at him and he nodded so she continued. "Did you know about Kyoya-senpai's father?" 

His face fell and he slowly nodded. "I never asked, but I was always suspicious. Every year, at the start of the school year, he would have his physical exam in private. Also, there are certain costumes he won't wear because they show his back." He told her and sighed quietly. "I feel bad for never asking him."

"I have seen him without a shirt on, but I never noticed scars or anything." Haruhi said and she tried to think back, realizing she never really paid attention. "I never looked though. I never even thought to look." 

Honey nodded in understanding. "Why would you think to? Kyo-chan does a good job of hiding it. I think his sister taught him how to cover it with makeup. I've looked before and I've seen marks but I never thought twice about it. None of us did, except Tama-chan. That's because he already knew, I think. I think he's known for a long time. Tama-chan is very protective of Kyo-chan." 

She closed her eyes and thought for a moment. "I think I did see marks on his back." She sighed. "You're right, I didn't think twice about it. Do you think we could have done something?" 

"No. If Tama-chan couldn't do anything, neither could the rest of us." Honey said and looked at her. 

"I think I'm finally realizing how Tamaki-senpai feels. I don't think I would mind if he killed Kyoya-senpai's father." Haruhi said quietly. 

"I wouldn't mind either." Honey said quietly and looked up and down the halls, thinking he saw someone. "Haruhi, to your left." He whispered to her. 

She looked over immediately and reached back, closing the door quickly. "There's someone coming. I can't tell who it is." 

"It's Fuyumi I think." Honey told her and moved to stand in front of the door. "That must mean the cops got to Kyo-chan's house." He said and watched as Fuyumi ran towards them. 

She came to a halt in front of Haruhi and Honey. "Our father's in jail. Now, let me see my little brother." She demanded, tears running down her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

Haruhi slowly opened the door, believing her. She lead Fuyumi into the room and she walked over to the bed, waking Tamaki, but she was careful not to wake Kyoya. Tamaki felt Haruhi shake him slightly and his eyes opened slowly. He saw Fuyumi right away and he got out of the bed slowly, not waking Kyoya. 

"What are you doing here? How did you find out where we are?" He asked, moving towards her and standing between her and Kyoya. 

"The police told me where he was when I asked. I'm not going to hurt him Tamaki. No one is." Fuyumi insisted and she had tears pouring down her cheeks. "Please, Tamaki, I need to see him." 

"Fine..." He said quietly and moved out of the way, watching as she ran to Kyoya's side, taking his hand. 

"We are so sorry, Kyoya. We could have protected you, but we hesitated. We knew what he did to you and we could have stopped it. We didn't and this happened. I'm so sorry, Kyoya." She whispered as she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Tamaki stood near the door, alone, as the others had left, watching her. He wasn't willing to leave Kyoya alone with her. 

Fuyumi looked over at them. "What's wrong with him?" 

"Well, where should I start?" Tamaki said, not bothering to hide his hostility. "He has a concussion, broken ribs, he had to have his spleen removed and the internal bleeding stopped, he had major blood loss as well. He also has trouble breathing and low oxygen levels. What did I forget?" He asked sarcastically. "Oh yeah, he was raped by your father and he now has HIV. Did that answer your questions?" He asked rhetorically, obviously not done talking. He opened his mouth to keep going when Haruhi cut in. 

"Tamaki-senpai, stop." She told him but he completely ignored her. 

"This isn't the first time he's been raped you know and now I hear you could have prevented this. Why didn't you? What is wrong with you that you wouldn't do anything you could to protect your brother?" He said in one breath. He took a deep breath then kept going. "He has had HIV for six months and he never went to a hospital for it because he was scared. No one ever protected him and he knew that, so he never got help because your father would just beat him again." Tamaki said angrily, for once not caring as Fuyumi started crying at the things he said. 

"Tamaki-senpai." Haruhi said again, warning him to stop but he just kept going. 

"You were so scared of your father so you never thought about how much it affected Kyoya. You never saw how scared he was. You never noticed as he rapidly lost weight or when his hair got longer to hide his swollen lymph nodes. None of you saw what was happening to him. That's why I didn't want you to know where he was. You apparently cared when he was dying but you never cared enough to prevent it." Tamaki said and finally stopped, leaving everyone speechless. None of them had ever seen Tamaki go off like that. 

"We never meant for it to go this far... We never thought he would hurt him like this." Fuyumi said, trying to defend her family's actions. 

Tamaki rolled his eyes. "Of course it was going to go this far. Your father can not control himself when he drink and you all know that. You knew he was going to hurt Kyoya again!" Tamaki yelled, close to tears again. "How could you let this happen to him?" He muttered, all the anger gone from his voice. He collapsed in a chair, tears streaming down his cheeks and he put his face in his hands. 

"Tamaki, I'm sorry. Please believe me, I never wanted my brother hurt." Fuyumi said, crying almost as hard as Tamaki. 

"I know. I'm sorry. Forgive me." Tamaki bowed his head slightly to her, tears streaming down his face as he moved his hands. 

"You are forgiven." She told him and looked at him sadly, standing up. She walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "I know this hurts you just as much as it hurts me. You're in love with my brother." Fuyumi said quietly as Tamaki hugged her back tightly. 

Tamaki nodded, crying heavily. "I do. I love him and it hurts seeing him so fragile." 

"I know how you feel." She whispered and hugged him to comfort him, crying as hard as Tamaki was but her crying was silent whereas Tamaki was sobbing, unable to hold back any longer. 

He sobbed against Fuyumi, trembling as he cried. He felt unable to stop his tears and he cried for several minutes before he was able to calm down. "I'm sorry." He mumbled as he pulled away, embarrassed that he was crying like that. 

"Don't apologize, Tamaki." She said quietly and smiled at him, her tears having dried much sooner than Tamaki's. 

He nodded slightly. "I feel so stupid for crying so much, but I'm scared that he won't recover this time. Even if he does recover, he still has HIV and that will never be cured. Someday he will develop AIDS and there nothing anyone can do about that." Tamaki whispered and looked at his feet.

Fuyumi was about to speak when a voice cut her off. "So it was HIV. That's what I guessed it was when the symptoms showed four months ago." Kyoya said and they turned to look at him. "By the looks you two are giving me, you are both surprised that I knew that I was sick. Of course I knew. All of the symptoms were there, I just never bothered to trouble anyone else with the information." 

"You wouldn't have bothered us if you would have told us. Kyoya, this is something we needed to know." Fuyumi said and looked at him. "We could have done something sooner." 

Tamaki walked over to him and took his hand tightly. "We can't change the past but I will do anything I can to help you from now through forever." He told him and leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

"No. I don't want you that close to me. I don't ever want to take the chance of getting you as sick as I am. It is impractical and dangerous." He said seriously before starting to mumble as he was scared. "If I get you sick... Then... Then you would die. And if you die I... I would never forgive myself. You can't die... No... I... No..." Kyoya kept muttering and shaking his head, closing his eyes and his breathing quickened. 

Tamaki grabbed his hands tightly. "I am not going to get sick and I am not going to die. Kyoya, take slow deep breaths and squeeze my hands" 

Kyoya nodded and did exactly as Tamaki told him but with difficulty as his brain didn't cooperate like he was used to. "Tamaki..." He mumbled, having a full blown panic attack. 

He couldn't calm his breathing and the heart monitor was beeping way too fast. Kyoya gripped his hands tightly and he tried to slow his breathing down to normal levels. Once he felt the attack starting to lessen, flashes of Tamaki dying or dead started to flash through his head and he just got worse. 

Kyoya started crying and he looked up at Tamaki, unable to take his eyes off him because he was afraid that if he did, the next time he looked, Tamaki would be dead. He breathed heavily, his body trembling and his grip on Tamaki tightening. 

Tamaki didn't know what to do so he started to sing, like his mother used to do for him. He sang quietly to Kyoya in French, not breaking eye contact with him the entire time. 

Kyoya finally started to calm down with the constant reassurance of Tamaki's voice. 

After over five minutes, his heart rate and breathing rate finally returned to close to normal. His grip on Tamaki's hands lessened as well, but he didn't let go and neither did Tamaki. 

Tamaki let go of one of his hands and he reached up to run his fingers through his hair. "I love you, Kyoya, and I'm not going anywhere. No matter what. I don't care if you have HIV, I'm not leaving you alone ever again." He whispered and stroked his hair gently. 

"Tamaki, I can't ask you to do that..." He muttered and looked away. 

"You don't have to ask me to do it. I want to and it's my choice." Tamaki told him and smiled. "If you'll have me, of course." He added quickly. 

"Always." He whispered and weakly squeezed his hand, looking up at him. 

Tamaki smiled at him and gently stroked his hair as Kyoya closed his eyes again. He opened them quickly and looked up at him. 

"I don't want to go back to sleep." Kyoya mumbled and looked away, embarrassed that he was so weak. 

Tamaki frowned slightly and looked down at him. "Why not? You need your rest." 

"I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm not going to wake up again. I have no control over any of this and that scares me, Tamaki. I can't stop HIV and I can't stop the feeling of pain every single time I take a breath. This is the first time I can't control a part of my life. I can't write it down, do some calculations and make it better. I am terrified." He told him and looked anywhere but at Tamaki, hating to come across so weak. He hated how Tamaki could make him spill everything to him by just asking. "I hate how you make me feel so vulnerable." He mumbled, not quiet enough and Tamaki heard him. 

"It's normal to be frightened. It might be difficult for you but you will be fine. I promise." He said before it registered to him what Kyoya said. "What do you mean?" 

Kyoya looked up at him apologetically. "No one has made me feel like this before. I've felt anger, but I've never felt happy like you make me feel. I have never meet someone other than you who can make me completely expose my feelings or make me change my mind. I feel vulnerable beside I'm exposed around you. I have secrets from the entire world except for you. I have never trusted someone like I trust you. I have never trusted anyone." He told him quietly. 

"You don't have to be scared and you don't have to feel vulnerable. I would never ever hurt you. Everything you tell me will always stay between us. It has so far, hasn't it?" Tamaki asked quietly and Kyoya nodded. "You have nothing to worry about then. You have my word, Kyoya." 

Kyoya smiled slightly and he leaned into Tamaki's touch as he played with his hair. "My sister left." He commented quietly. 

Tamaki looked away from him for the first time since he woke up. "She must have left while we were talking. She'll probably be back later for you to see her." He said as he looked back down at him, stroking Kyoya's hair. "You should probably get some more sleep. I can tell you're exhausted." 

"I'm not..." He said quietly though he was having trouble keeping his eyes open, his eyelids feeling extremely heavy. 

"You are. You want to sleep more than anything at the moment. I'll lay with you if you would feel better that way." Tamaki told him softly. 

Kyoya nodded slightly, not wanting to sleep alone. "I would prefer that, thank you." 

"Of course." Tamaki whispered and kissed his forehead before climbing into the hospital bed next to him again. 

Kyoya curled up against him with Tamaki's help and he rested his head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. He felt Tamaki's arms around him and his eyes became too heavy to remain open, falling shut as he fell asleep again. As he slept, he held onto Tamaki's shirt and he felt protected in his arms. 

Tamaki yawned and gazed lovingly down at him, playing with his hair. "I love you, Kyoya." He said quietly before letting his eyes close as well. It was slightly harder for him to fall asleep because he kept thinking about what Kyoya has said and he realized that he was right. Tamaki was at extreme risk of getting sick if he remained close to Kyoya, but he found that he didn't care what the risks were. He knew that he would never be able to leave Kyoya ever again. He swore to himself they he would be with Kyoya until the very moment he died. He tightened his arms around Kyoya and held him close, falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Kyoya and Tamaki slept until mid afternoon, both of them extremely exhausted. Kyoya woke up before Tamaki and he slowly opened his eyes, looking up at the sleeping blonde. He didn't move as he didn't want to wake him, knowing Tamaki didn't sleep when he was worried or emotional so he was exhausted. He was also fairly sure he would hurt himself if he tried to get up and move without help. He simply just closed his eyes again and tried to cuddle closer to Tamaki, gasping in pain when a sharp jolt went up his right side over his ribs. 

He fell on to his back and he grabbed his side, willing the burning pain to go away before he woke Tamaki. Kyoya tried not to move but the pain got worse the more he stayed in one spot so he tried to shift again but the pain got worse and he couldn't see, the pain blinding. 

"Tamaki..." He gasped and tried to get the blonde's attention, desperately needing help as the pain only got worse. He tried to hit him but it was very weak. "Tamaki!" He tried to yell but it sounded more like his normal voice than a yell. It was enough to wake him though. 

Tamaki slowly opened his eyes, not realizing anything was wrong yet as Kyoya had stopped talking. "Kyoya?" 

"Help..." He mumbled breathlessly, tears running down his face as he held his side. 

As soon as he saw Kyoya, Tamaki jumped to his feet and ran to the door, opening it and yelling for help. He saw a nurse and Kyoya's doctor come running so he immediately went back to Kyoya's side. He gently took Kyoya's hand from his side so the doctor could look and so he could comfort him. 

The doctor came into the room and he got to work immediately once he saw how much pain Kyoya was in. "Kyoya, I'm going to need you to tell me if this hurts and how badly on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst." The doctor said and pressed on the spot above where Kyoya had his hand. 

He immediately nodded and gripping Tamaki's hand. "Eight..." 

"What about here?" He asked and pressed on the spot below where his hand was. 

He nodded again. "Eight..." He said weakly. 

"And here?" He pushed on the exact spot where Kyoya's hand was. 

He cried out slightly and nodded, his side feeling like it was on fire. "Ten..." He mumbled and held Tamaki's hand tighter. 

The doctor checked a few more places, surprised when he found that Kyoya's pain wasn't at five until his other side. That was the lowest pain level on his entire chest. 

"I want to see the skin. Mr. Suoh and I are going to help you sit up then the nurse will take off the bandages." The doctor said then he showed Tamaki exactly where to lift him up at so he wouldn't make the pain much worse. 

"This will hurt." He warned Kyoya before he and Tamaki moved him. 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "It already does." 

"It will be worse." The doctor told him and looked over at Tamaki. "On my count of three. One... Two... Three." He counted and as he reached three, he and Tamaki moved Kyoya off of his back, forcing him to sit up. 

As he was moved, he felt another burning pain go down his side. It was so painful he couldn't make a sound and he reached over, grabbing the sleeve of Tamaki's shirt. The nurse quickly removed the bandages from around his chest then he was laid back down on the bed. His eyes were swimming with tears and he reached blindly for Tamaki's hand. He felt Tamaki grab his hand and Kyoya clung to him desperately, trying to ignore the pain as the doctor looked looked at the skin where everything hurt. 

"There's a large bruise over your rib cage. We already knew they were broken but I think when you moved the fracture got larger. Or else your lung was punctured. I am going to have a CT scan done so I can see for sure what the injury is. While I am taking care of that, I want you to hold an ice pack to your side and make sure you take deep breaths. It is going to hurt very badly but you can't risk your lungs getting infected if they are functioning properly." The doctor told him. "I will have the nurse bring you a couple ice packs while I go take care of getting the CT scheduled. I will come get you as soon as I'm ready." He said before leaving the room. The nurse also left the room to go get the ice packs. 

"Tamaki?" Kyoya asked quietly. 

"Yes?" He responded and reached down to gently run his fingers through Kyoya's hair, trying to comfort him. 

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" Kyoya said softly, looking over at Tamaki. He didn't try to hide how scared he was, tears running down his cheeks. 

Tamaki shook his head immediately. "No. You are not going to die, Kyoya. I will do anything to make sure of that. I will pay for the best treatment if your family refuses to and I will protect you from anything bad happening ever again." He said and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. 

"Everything hurts and I can't control it... I can't control the pain, I can't control my father, and I can't control how I feel. I have lost all the control I had in my life. This has to be what dying is." He muttered and before Tamaki could respond, the nurse came in with the ice packs. 

Tamaki took the ice packs from her and walked to Kyoya's right side. He helped him lift his arm slightly and he held one of the ice packs for him on his side. He put the other on Kyoya's chest near his side. "You're not dying. You're just sick, Kyoya. What you're feeling is completely normal even though you can't hide it anymore." He told him, knowing he was only extremely emotional because he finally broke after almost getting killed by his father and his wall crumbled.

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly and looked up at him. 

"I am absolutely positive. You are going to be perfectly fine, Kyoya." Tamaki said quietly and kissed his forehead gently. "Are the ice packs helping?" 

He nodded slightly. "Just a very little amount." He told him and held tightly on to his hand yet.

"That's better than nothing." He smiled softly at him, holding the ice pack and Kyoya's hand. Tamaki kissed the back of his hand gently. 

Kyoya winced slightly as he took a deep breath but he did it again, ignoring the burning pain. "I want this all to go away. I want my father to rot in prison so he can never hurt anyone ever again." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I honestly don't care that he hurt me, but after seeing how it hurt you and Fuyumi; it made me so mad." He whispered, talking to distract himself from the pain. "I was upset and scared but I wasn't mad until I saw you crying. When I saw you crying, I had never wanted someone dead like I wanted my father dead." 

He looked down at Kyoya in surprise, having never thought Kyoya would have said out loud that he wanted his father dead. "You can't actually mean that, Kyoya. I know why you want him dead, but it's illogical. It's better for him to rot in prison." Tamaki said though he wanted Yoshio Ootori dead as well. "There is no way he will ever be a free man again. I will make sure of that." 

"You're right. It's easier that way too." He said and slowly opened his eyes again. "Really? That means a lot to me that you care that much..." 

"I care about you more than anything." Tamaki told him quietly, letting go of his hand and gently moving his hair out of his face, cupping his cheek gently "I will do anything to keep you safe."

Kyoya smiled softly up at him and was about to speak when the doctor walked into the room. Tamaki removed his hand quickly and stood up straight as the doctor walked back into the room, keeping the ice pack on his side. 

"Everything is ready if you are." The doctor told him. 

He nodded. "As long as Tamaki can come with me." Kyoya said quietly, not wanting to be alone with people he doesn't know when he felt vulnerable. 

"That is fine with me." The doctor said and a nurse came into the room to push the bed. 

The nurse put up the side rails and unlocked the wheels on the bed. She pushed the bed out of the room along with the IV pole, Tamaki and the doctor on either side of Kyoya. Tamaki took his hand gently and he smiled down at him. Kyoya smiled back slightly before closing his eyes, sighing quietly. He tried to ignore the constant pain with much difficulty. He felt his heart rate increase from the fear coursing through him and he tightened his grip on Tamaki's hand slightly. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and looked around. He needed to calm himself so he observed his surroundings. 

The hospital was fairly average, he knew without a doubt he could have afforded much better care. Everything was very simple. The hallway, the rooms that he could see into. Everything just felt boring. At least no one would recognize him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again, feeling his heart rate start to go back to normal levels. Before he could stop himself, started to drift off. He fell asleep when they were halfway to the room where the scan was done. 

When they entered the room a minute later, Tamaki looked down at Kyoya. He smiled softly, thankful that Kyoya was asleep because they had to move him from the hospital bed to the bed on the CT scanner. He knew Kyoya would have been in extreme pain if he was awake. He stood back as he watched them move Kyoya, praying that the dark haired boy would be okay. Praying that he wasn't dying. The radiologist set up the scanner then Tamaki went with her and the doctor behind the glass where they were safe from the radiation. 

He waited with them for ten minutes, keeping a close eye on Kyoya the entire time. When the scan was done, he went out with the doctor, watching as they moved Kyoya back to his bed. He walked alongside of him as they went back to the room. Tamaki held his hand on the way back, not taking his off Kyoya. Once they returned, he sat down in his chair next to Kyoya's bed. 

The nurse locked the wheels again and put the side rails down on the bed, returning everything to its proper position in the room. She then left. 

"Once I know something, I'll let you know. It shouldn't take longer than a half hour." The doctor said before leaving the room to go look at the X-ray with the radiologist. 

Tamaki nodded and rested his elbows on the bed, rest his head in his hands. He sighed quietly, keeping a close eye on Kyoya. He started to fall asleep again, his eyes slipping shut when he heard Kyoya whimper. 

His eyes opened immediately and he sat up, looking down at Kyoya, who was obviously still asleep. Kyoya's face was contorted in what looked like fear and his breathing was rapid. Tamaki stood up and gently tried to wake him, trying to do so without hurting him any further. He shook him very gently, unable to wake him up so he shook him a little harder. He knew he accidentally hurt him, but he was more worried about waking him up. With another shake and Tamaki saying his name, Kyoya woke up. 

His eyes flew open and he looked up at Tamaki with wide, terrified eyes. "Tamaki..?" 

Tamaki immediately took his hand. "I'm right here, Kyoya. Don't worry." 

Kyoya nodded and let his eyes close again but he didn't fall back to sleep. "I kept hoping that I'll close my eyes and the next time I open them everything will be back to normal. That is never the case and it just makes me feels worse. Especially when I close my eyes all I see is my father standing over me or I see this situation flipped. I see you laying here instead of me. It hurts and I don't want everything to hurt anymore. I just want to go home and forget this ever happened." His voice cracked and he opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with tears threatening to spill over. 

"I would make that happen if I could." Tamaki whispered and looked down at him sadly, using his free hand to run his fingers through Kyoya's hair. "I would do anything to make you happy, Kyoya." 

"Thank you, Tamaki." He said softly and looked up at him. "I want to tell you something..." He started to speak but Tamaki cut him off. 

"Don't say anything you wouldn't say if you weren't sick." Tamaki said quickly and looked down at him. "I don't want you to say anything that you wouldn't normally say if we were just at my house studying." 

Kyoya looked over at him. "Tamaki, you need to know what I have to say. There is still a strong possibility that I won't make it. The next time I go to sleep, I might not wake up and I want to have no regrets. I need to tell you." 

He shook his head. "No. I refuse to listen." 

"Quit being so stubborn!" Kyoya yelled at him and to his surprise, Tamaki grinned. 

"Definitely not." He said, grinning because he knew if Kyoya was yelling at him again, he was starting to return to his normal self. 

Kyoya huffed slightly and rolled his eyes, but he decided that it wasn't worth the effort to argue with him.

Tamaki smiled and looked down at him. "You're going to be just fine, Kyoya. I know it." 

"I'm going to trust you. You better not be wrong." He said quietly. He held onto Tamaki's hand and he looked at their hands as he laced their fingers. "I think something good came out of this." Kyoya whispered, looking up at Tamaki. 

"I think you're right." Tamaki said softly and ran his fingers through Kyoya's hair. 

"I think this could have been much worse for me if it wasn't for you. I would have no one except my sister sitting here by me and she wouldn't even stay most of the time. It's because of you I survived. Even before this happened. I would have given up on life if it wasn't for you." Kyoya said, but he refused to look at Tamaki. 

Tamaki looked at him, wishing Kyoya would face him but he didn't force him to. "Then I'm glad I came to Japan. Especially because I could help you." 

"I'm glad you came too. I can no longer imagine a life without you in it, Tamaki." He said and finally looked at him again. "I never thought I would ever let myself care about someone like I care for you. I never thought anyone would be able to care about me. No one before you bothered to try to get to know me. You looked for the real me, you saw through the veil I hid behind. For that, I shall be eternally grateful." Kyoya told him. 

"I would always stay with you. Even if time were reversed, I would still chose to stay by your side, Kyoya. You are my best friend and my everything." Tamaki said softly and Kyoya was about to respond when the doctor knocked on the door and walked into the room. 

Kyoya looked at the doctor, straight faced. "Well?" 

"It's mostly good news this time. Your lung is just fine, but your ribs fractured in a second place down your side. The way the bone is positioned is dangerously close to your lung but everything should be okay if you don't exert yourself. The bone is brittle so we will have to start supplementing calcium and vitamin D to help the healing process. They should heal just fine though. If you need it, I can also prescribe you stronger pain medication." The doctor told him and Kyoya felt relief but he didn't show it, remaining straight faced. 

"Stronger pain medication would help." He said and looked at the doctor, struggling to ignore the pain now that he had no distraction. 

The doctor nodded. "I guessed it would. I will have your IV changed to a stronger medication." The doctor said and looked down at his charts. "Oh yes, now that you're regaining your strength, you should consider starting Triumeq. It is necessary to start it as soon as possible because we don't want to take the risk of your CD4 cells getting too low." 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "I will start it as soon as I can. I am not sure when I'll be able to, but I hope it will be within the next few days." He said and glanced at Tamaki before looking back at the doctor. "What about Tamaki. I know he has to be in danger being around me. There has to be something you can do to lessen the chances of me getting him sick." 

"There is something that we can do to lessen the chances of him getting sick, but nothing will protect him completely." The doctor said and then he looked at Tamaki. "I know you know this, but it's my job to warm you of the risks of being in a relationship. I am not saying don't be together, I am just saying that you need to exercise more caution than most other couples. The chances of you getting sick with never be at zero, but they can be lowered significantly. There is a medication known as PrEP which is given to people in your situation, Tamaki. I will write you a prescription for it and fax it to the pharmacy downstairs where you can pick it up if you wish. I must warm you, it is expensive. It is almost 100,000 yen a month." The doctor said and Tamaki went to speak, but Kyoya cut him off. 

"I am not going to let you pay that just so we can have a relationship." He said seriously and looked at Tamaki. 

"I don't need your permission to spend my own money. You know that isn't that much for me." He said and looked back at Kyoya. 

Kyoya frowned. "It's not just about the money, Tamaki..."

"Then what is it about?" He asked, raising his voice slightly and the doctor excused himself to give them privacy. 

"I don't want you dead too, Tamaki! I've excepted that I'm going to die before I'm thirty but I don't want the same fate for you!" Kyoya almost yelled, his voice breaking. "I want you to have a life where you don't have to be worried about getting sick. I don't want you to have to see me die..." His voice got quieter as he spoke. 

Tamaki felt all his anger drain away as Kyoya spoke. "I'm going to stay by your side forever. Even if I get sick. I know the dangers of our relationship but I don't care. Would you give up on me if I was sick? Would you just leave me?" 

Kyoya swallowed hard before shaking his head slowly, looking down. "No... I would never do that." He whispered and sighed. "I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to."

"Exactly. So there is no way I'm going to leave you because you're sick. Everyday when I go outside I'm at risk of dying or contracting a disease and I'm much more happy with you than when I go outside, so I'm staying. I'm staying with you and I'm going to buy that medicine." Tamaki told him seriously but he smiled softly. 

Kyoya saw Tamaki's point but he didn't give up on the arguement. "I'm not suited for you... You deserve better than me. You deserve someone who can grow old with you, someone with whom you can have a family and be safe. You would be far better off with someone like Haruhi. Haruhi is the type of person you deserve, I am not. I don't want to stop you from being happy just because you don't want to leave me when I'm sick."

"I am happy being with you." He told him seriously and looked him in the eyes. "I would chose you over anyone else even if you weren't sick. I don't want Haruhi. I want you, Kyoya, I always have. Even when it seemed like I wanted her. You are the only one for me and that will never change." Tamaki smiled. "So I'm taking that medicine no matter how much it costs." 

"I hate how you're so stubborn." Kyoya said and frowned slightly. "I can't change your mind, can I?" 

"Nope." Tamaki said and smiled widely. 

Kyoya couldn't help but laugh softly,wincing slightly in pain and shaking his head at him as the doctor walked back into the room. 

"Have you made your decision?" He asked and looked at Tamaki. 

"Yes. I'm going to take the PrEP, no matter how much it costs." He said and smiled slightly over at Kyoya. 

"Very well." The doctor smiled. "I will write prescriptions for you both. You will have to pick them up at the pharmacy though. I can't have them automatically brought up here because of the hospital's policies. I will have a nurse bring in a strong pain medication for the IV though." He told Kyoya. "It will cause severe drowsiness. I suggest not fighting it for the time being." 

Kyoya nodded. "Okay." 

The doctor left the room and a few minutes later a nurse came in with a new IV bag. She changed the line with out removing the needle, hanging the new bag on the pole with the other solutions. She started the drip once the IV line was attached to the cannula. She stayed a few minutes to make sure the drip worked properly before excusing herself. 

Kyoya and Tamaki sat in the room in comfortable silence, Tamaki gently playing with Kyoya's hand. He gazed at the blonde affectionately and he smiled softly, feeling the medicine start to affect him after about ten minutes. He tried to fight the exhaustion until Tamaki leaned down at kissed his eyelids shut and Kyoya fell asleep almost immediately.


	9. Chapter 9

Kyoya woke a few hours later to the sound of Tamaki arguing with someone he couldn't see. He looked around the room, seeing the rest of the host club members sitting or standing silently around the room. Kyoya frowned, about to speak when he saw Tamaki stumble backwards like he got shoved. 

"You can't just barge in!" Tamaki yelled and glared a police officer walked into the room.

"We don't have a choice. If you want a chance in court, we need to speak the victim." The head officer said. 

"He needs to sleep! Can't you come back in a couple days?" Tamaki crossed his arms, glaring. 

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not." He looked at Kyoya. "He's awake right now." 

"But... But..." Tamaki tried to argue but he couldn't think of an argument he could win. 

"It's alright, Tamaki. I have no problem talking to them right now." Kyoya said and smiled reassuringly at him for a second before looking over at the police officer. "Ask me whatever you wish." 

"Can we do this in private?" He asked, glancing around the room at Kyoya's friends. 

Kyoya nodded, looking bored. "I suppose so. Can you all give us a few minutes?" 

The others nodded except Tamaki who looked like he was about to protest until Kyoya glared at him. He then crossed his arms in a pout and followed the others out of the room, more worried than he allowed his face to show. He hadn't left Kyoya's side the entire time until that moment.

The officer waited until the door shut behind Tamaki before he started to speak. "I apologize for barging in like this, but it was unavoidable." 

"I understand." Kyoya said and raised the bed so he was sitting up straight, ignoring how even the bed moving underneath him hurt.

He nodded. "Before we begin I would like to properly introduce myself. I am detective Kazuo Shizuka." He bowed politely to him. 

"Pleasure to meet you." Kyoya bowed his head to him, not feeling the need to introduce himself. 

"You as well. Now to the unpleasant part. I need you to tell me exactly what happened on the night of March fourth and anything that led into it. Please tell me all that you can." He said and opened a notebook to write down what Kyoya said. 

Kyoya nodded and swallowed before starting to recount the events of the nights to the detective. He told him about how on the first night his father came home from the business trip he beat him and tied him up but his brothers interfered before it could go any further. He told him about how he ran to Tamaki's house to get away from his family and how he refused to let Tamaki call the police. He said that he let Tamaki's house that morning, leaving out their argument. He told him about getting home and passing out while Fuyumi tried to get the wounds on his back to stop bleeding and how when he woke up he heard his siblings discussing what to do about Kyoya's situation. He skipped the part about not being able to go to dinner and he went straight into the story of that night. He told him about how he was thrown to the floor and his stitches were ripped from his skin. As well as how he was cut over his back then raped with his hand bound behind his back. He explained how he got away by kicking his father then his brothers freeing him then he ran to Haruhi's. He said he collapsed at her apartment and the next thing he remembered was waking up two days ago. 

The entire time he spoke, his face and voice were emotionless. Not once did he let any of his own emotions cloud the facts he gave to the detective. As Kyoya spoke, detective Shizuka wrote excessively in his notebook. 

Once he was done accounting what happened to the detective, he felt exhausted and ready to break down but he held it together, suspecting that the detective wasn't done with his questions. 

His suspicions were confirmed when he looked at Kyoya and spoke. "When did all this start?" 

"When I was in my first year of secondary school. I was 13." He told him, closing his eyes for a moment but quickly reopening then when he almost fell asleep. 

The detective looked at him apologetically. "I only have a few more questions then I'll let you rest." He said and Kyoya nodded. "Who knew about the abuse before now?" 

"My mother, sister, and my brothers. As well as Tamaki." He answered quietly, starting to fall asleep. 

"According to our reports, you have contracted HIV. Is the correct? And if so, who gave it to you and when?" He asked quickly, trying to get the questioning over with. 

Kyoya nodded, opening his eyes slowly. "Yes, it's correct. The only way I would have got it was from my father. I have never had sexual contact with anyone else." He muttered, trying to answer the questions to the best of his ability. "It was six months ago." He told him. 

He wrote down his answer before putting his pen back in his jacket and closing the notebook. "Thank you very much for your time. This will be very helpful in your case." He bowed to him before leaving the room. 

As soon as he left, Tamaki and the others came back into the room. Tamaki walked over to him and sat down on the bed next to him. "What did he want?" 

"He just wanted to ask about what happened a week ago. He also asked a couple more questions. It was no big deal." He shrugged slightly and leaned his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes. 

"So you're okay?" Tamaki asked and looked at him. 

"Yes of course I am. You need not be so protective, Tamaki." He said and started to fall asleep again, quickly opening his eyes so he didn't sleep as he was tired of being so weak. 

"I can't help it." He smiled slightly down at him. "You're exhausted, Kyoya. No one would be mad if you go to sleep." 

"It's not that... I am tired of being weak. I'm tired of being tired." He told him softly though he was struggling to keep his eyes open. 

"Kyoya, it will get better, but for right now you just need to get plenty of rest." Tamaki told him and gently ran his fingers through his hair as Kyoya closed his eyes and fell asleep. He picked up the remote that controlled the bed and he lowered it back down so Kyoya wasn't sitting up all the way. Tamaki smiled slightly and he put the remote back on the bed once Kyoya was in a comfortable position. 

Tamaki turned to face the others once he knew for sure Kyoya was asleep and that he was going to stay sleeping. He started talking to the others in hushed tones so they wouldn't wake Kyoya. 

  


As the week went on Kyoya's condition improved immensely. He was able to stay a little awake longer, eat real food, take his HIV medication, and he was able to get out of bed and walk with Tamaki's help. Each day he got better and better until he was able to do most things on his own. The detective came regularly to ask him more questions and to update him in the status of the case. 

Through the detective's visits, Kyoya learned that his father was pleading not guilty and had hired one of the best lawyers in all of Japan. Kyoya wasn't surprised though, he had already planned for those circumstances. Kyoya had Tamaki contact a lawyer for him. Several times he met with Detective Shizuka and his lawyer until they had a solid case against his father, exhausted after every meeting so he decided not to meet with them for one day. He spent the day with Tamaki and the rest of the host club. 

Kyoya was sitting in the room with Tamaki reading a book while the other watched television, their hands clasped together and their fingers laced, when the five other members of the host club came into the room. They came in chatting animatedly, Haruhi carrying a picnic basket that had obviously been forced upon her if the look on her face said anything. Kyoya laughed quietly as he closed his book and set it down, knowing there was no chance that he would be able to concentrate. 

He smiled slightly as Honey walked over and sat down on the side of his bed, facing him. "Do you think you could come outside with us, Kyo-chan?" The small blonde asked and looked up at him hopefully. 

"I will ask. I don't see why I wouldn't be able to." Kyoya smiled slightly, pressing the button in the bed that would call a nurse. 

A minute later, a nurse walked into the room smiling. "Can I get you something?" 

"Would it be alright if I go outside in the courtyard for a little while?" He asked and smiled charmingly at her. 

"I think it will be alright, but let me check with your doctor before I give you a solid answer." She said and smiled before leaving the room to go ask the doctor. 

She came back a few minutes later, pushing a wheelchair. "The doctor said it will be fine as long as you don't exert yourself. He also said, and I quote, make sure he doesn't try to walk there and back." She smiled slightly at him. "He never said you couldn't walk there though." 

He nodded and smiled falsely. "Thank you very much." 

"Of course." She smiled and bowed slightly to him before leaving the room. 

Haruhi rolled her eyes slightly. "You can take the boys out of the host club but you can't take the host club out of the boys." She mumbled like she was annoyed but she smiled slightly. 

Kyoya was the only one that heard her and he chuckled softly, looking over at her. "Indeed. You aren't so innocent yourself though. You are more similar to us than you think." 

She was about to argue when Kyoya cut her off on purpose, smirking slightly. "Are we going outside? I look forward to getting out of this stuffy room." 

"Yes, let's go." Tamaki said and smiled, holding out his hands to help Kyoya to his feet.

He slowly moved so that his legs hung off of the bed. Kyoya grabbed his hands tightly and pulled himself to his feet, clinging to Tamaki's hands. He was able to support himself for a couple seconds before his legs gave out underneath him. Tamaki caught him before he hit the ground and he lifted him back on to the bed. 

"Do you want to try again or are you going to cooperate and let me push you in the chair?" Tamaki asked and looked down at him, raising an eyebrow slightly. 

"I want to try again." Kyoya said to no one's surprise and he grabbed Tamaki's outstretched hands again, pulling himself to his feet again. He managed to stay on his feet as long as he hung on to Tamaki. "I can walk. Let's go." 

Tamaki looked at Haruhi then he nodded slightly to the wheelchair, silently telling her to bring it with them. Kyoya held on to Tamaki as they walked out of the room slowly, the others in front of them except Haruhi who followed with the wheelchair. 

Kyoya stumbled towards the elevator with them, clinging to Tamaki so he didn't fall. He was breathless by the time they reached the elevator and Tamaki was almost supporting him completely. 

"Kyoya, you need to sit down. You're going to hurt yourself even more if you keep pushing yourself like this." Tamaki told him as he helped him into the elevator with the others. 

He immediately shook his head. "I can't, Tamaki. I'm not going to be weak anymore. I can do this." He whispered so only Tamaki could hear him. He shifted so he wasn't leaning against Tamaki, standing on his own. 

The elevator came to stop on the first floor and they all got out. Kyoya was able to walk by himself for almost fifty meters before he had to grab hold of Tamaki again to keep from falling. 

Tamaki kept him on his feet and he smiled softly at him. "Will you sit down now? No one is going to think less of you." He said and looked at him. 

"No... I want to keep walking. I need to get stronger before the court date and before we go back to school." He muttered and once they were outside, he let go of Tamaki again. He stood on his own, taking a few steps forward before turning around to look at him. "See? I can walk just fine on my own." Kyoya turned away again and he walked further out into the sun. "It feels so good being out here instead of being inside." He muttered to himself, walking further even though he knew he was pushing himself to his limits.

They followed Kyoya further outside, Tamaki walking faster than the others to get nearer to Kyoya. His pace slowed down and he stumbled slightly, the world spinning and his vision blurred as he suddenly collapsed. 

"Kyoya!" Tamaki yelled and ran towards him as fast as he could, dropping to his knees next to him. "Kyoya?" Tamaki's voice dripped with concern and he helped him sit up. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes... I'm fine." He muttered and tried to stand but he fell again, groaning in pain. 

Tamaki gently sat him up again, keeping a tight hold on him to make sure he didn't try to stand. "You are not fine and you need to stop pushing yourself like this, Kyoya. This is the third time you've collapsed this week. You need to admit to yourself you aren't strong enough yet." He said, sounding angry when he was really just concerned. 

"I am. I am fine, Tamaki. Now let go of me so I can get up." Kyoya said and glared at him. "You are just being idiotic and overprotective. I am perfectly fine and I don't need your help, Tamaki." 

"You don't need my help? Fine, then let's see if you can manage without me." Tamaki said angrily and stood up, part of him feeling guilty when Kyoya fell to the side, barely catching himself. 

Kyoya glared up at him. "I will be just fine without you. You can leave." 

"If you really think you can get by on your own, you're sadly mistaken. You need me to help you walk, you can barely hold things without me. You need my help to get to the bathroom so you can get cleaned up. You need me, Kyoya. You were only able to walk fifty meters without me before you fell, try getting back upstairs." Tamaki's said and without another word he turned and walked away, leaving Kyoya on the ground. Tamaki almost made it to the door when he stopped, but he didn't turn around, unable to decide whether he should leave or not. He knew Kyoya really needed him though the dark haired boy wouldn't admit it. 

Kyoya collapsed completely, his breathing quickening. His heart rate increased and he felt like his throat was closing. He couldn't breathe and he felt like he was going to faint. His entire body trembled and it seemed nothing around him was real. He tried to grab something but he couldn't feel anything beneath his fingers. He felt like he was floating in nothingness. 

Haruhi was the first to notice something was wrong. She dropped to the ground next to him and she grabbed his roaming hands. "Kyoya-senpai?" She asked worriedly and she pushed his hair out of his face to look at him. His eyes were shut and he was sweating profusely. He was also crying. She looked up and looked over at Tamaki who had began walking again. "Tamaki! Help!" She yelled, having never seen Kyoya like that. 

Tamaki turned around at the desperation in her voice and as soon as he saw Kyoya, he came running. He dropped to his knees in front of him and Haruhi quickly moved out of the way. Tamaki pulled him into his embrace and he grabbed his hand tightly. "Kyoya. Kyoya, I'm here." He whispered and held him tightly, trying to pull him out of another panic attack. "You're okay. I've got you." He said softly. When Kyoya's condition just got worse he started to sing softly to him. 

Kyoya heard his voice and it brought him back to reality slowly. He felt Tamaki's arms around him and the first thing he did was grab on to his sleeve. He was still trembling and breathing heavily when he opened his eyes. "Tamaki... I'm sorry..." He mumbled and looked up at him. "You were right... I'm an idiot for not listening..." 

"I'm sorry too." He whispered and hugged him tightly. Neither of them noticing as the others turned away, feeling like they were interrupting something extremely intimate. "I will never actually leave you, Kyoya." 

Kyoya nodded slightly and he wrapped his arms tightly around Tamaki. "I'm going to feel better right? Am I ever going to feel like myself again?" He asked brokenly and he hid his face from Tamaki's gaze. 

"I am not going to lie to you, Kyoya. I don't know." Tamaki whispered and tightened his arms around him. 

Kyoya felt his stomach drop at Tamaki's words and he almost began crying, clinging to Tamaki's shirt. He quickly pulled himself together and looked up at Tamaki. "Help me. Help me become myself again." He whispered brokenly and his voice cracked. "Force me to do things I can't do. Please, Tamaki..." 

"No. I'm not going to push you that hard, Kyoya, but I will help you feel better. I promise I will help you." Tamaki whispered and looked down at him. "I refuse that to do anything that could hurt you." 

He reluctantly nodded after a few seconds of just looking at him. "Okay..." 

"You don't have to look so disappointed. We can start now if you want." Tamaki told him and smiled. 

Kyoya nodded immediately and smiled warmly at Tamaki for a brief second. Tamaki smiled back widely and helped Kyoya sit on the ground, kneeling in front of him. He took a hold his hands and slowly stood up. He then lifted Kyoya to his feet. Once on his feet, Kyoya felt his legs give out and he fell forward into Tamaki's arms, the blonde catching him with ease. 

"Haruhi, will you come here please?" Tamaki called out pleasantly and smiled as she walked over to them. "You're going to help us." He told her and helped Kyoya move so that his arm was around Tamaki's shoulders and Tamaki's arm was around his waist. "I want you to copy us on Kyoya's other side." He told her and she did exactly as she was told. "Now, Kyoya, we are going to help you as you walk like the nurse and I did the first day. Then we will move to more difficult challenges." 

Kyoya nodded slightly, trusting Tamaki completely. He started to walk with a slight nod, putting most of his weight on Tamaki as he did the first day he walked. He took slow steps with the other two perfectly in sync with him. Slowly, he got used to walking with them and he supported more and more of his weight on his own. Haruhi and Tamaki started to act more like hand rails on a staircase than crutches. They walked about one hundred meters before they turned around to go back to where they started. 

Tamaki grinned slightly at Haruhi and with a nod of his head, he told her to let go. She let go as soon as Tamaki signaled to and she was shocked when Kyoya didn't even notice her absence. He was too busy looking at his feet as if he was using levitation to get them to move. Tamaki's grinned slightly and nodded to Hikaru and Kaoru, mouthing instructions to them. They nodded and positioned themselves exactly where Kyoya, Tamaki, and Haruhi had began walking from. With another set of mouthed instructions, Haruhi and Mori stood behind Kyoya, walking close behind him but not too close so he didn't realize what they were doing. 

Once everyone was in place, Tamaki let go of Kyoya slowly, making sure the dark haired boy didn't realize he had let go of him. Tamaki grinned when Kyoya's walk didn't even falter. He made sure to stay close by his side but far enough away so that Kyoya would walk without him but he was still close in case he fell. 

Kyoya watched his feet almost all the way there but he looked up as soon as the wheelchair was barely in his view, about four meters from where he started. Instead of realizing he had no one to hold onto, he walked the final four meters before looking to his right, expecting to see Tamaki right next to him but when he was a couple paces away, his eyes widened in shock. To Tamaki's surprise, he stayed on his feet. 

"You're not holding on to me anymore..." Kyoya said in surprise before smiling very slightly. 

"Nope. And I haven't been for about seventy meters." Tamaki told him and smiled widely. "You can walk on your own. You just need to believe in yourself and just do it. If you're not trying to hard, you will just do it naturally. You thought we were still there so you just kept on walking. Truly, you didn't need us hold you at all once you got your footing." 

Kyoya looked at him, biting his inner lip to keep from smiling. "So I walked seventy meters by myself?" 

Tamaki nodded and smiled softly at him. "Yes you did." 

Kyoya smiled at him. "That's good, but I think I need to sit down now." He said, feeling slightly light headed all of the sudden. 

Tamaki rushed over to him and wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him on his feet as Honey brought the wheelchair over to them. He lowered Kyoya gently into the chair before letting go of him. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. Just slightly light headed." He told him and smiled reassuringly up at him. 

"Okay. Tell me if it gets any worse though." Tamaki said and kissed his forehead softly. 

"I will." He said and looked fondly up at Tamaki, reaching out and taking his hand. 

He let go of his hand briefly and he pushed the wheelchair over next to a bench where he sat down next to him, taking his hand again. The others sat on a blanket on the ground in front of them. 

Kyoya leaned close to Tamaki and rested his head on his shoulder, slowly letting his eyes slip shut. 

Tamaki glanced at the others and when they weren't paying attention, he nuzzled Kyoya's hair gently. "I love you, Kyoya." 

"I love you too." Kyoya whispered back, drifting off to sleep with a content smile on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

Kyoya woke several hours later, back in his hospital bed. He looked to his right and saw Tamaki asleep with his head resting on the bed. He smiled softly and ran his fingers gently through his blonde hair, careful not to wake him as he knew it was the middle of the night. He sighed happily as he gazed down at Tamaki, feeling his eyes start to grow heavy again. Before he could stop himself, he fell back asleep. 

He woke up in the late morning to Tamaki shaking him slightly. "Kyoya, wake up. You have to take your pill and the doctor is coming to look at your back." 

Kyoya glared up at him but Tamaki didn't even flinch. When he didn't do anything Kyoya slowly turn on his side, pulling the pillow over his head. "Leave me alone, Tamaki." He mumbled, still half asleep. 

"Come on. Get up. It is eleven thirty, you need to get up." He said and he pulled the pillow from over his head. "You have to take your pill." He poked him gently. "Come on, up." 

He pouted up at him but reluctantly, slowly, sat up. "Why won't you let me sleep?" 

"I've already told you. You have also slept since seven o'clock last night." He chuckled softly and got up. Tamaki got Kyoya a glass of water and brought him his pill. 

Kyoya took the glass and pill from him. He took a drink of water and then swallowed the pill, handing the glass back to Tamaki. "Thank you." He said softly and leaned back after putting his pillow in its spot. 

"Of course." He said softly and kissed the top of his head before setting the glass down. "The doctor wants to see the wounds on your back. He wants to make sure they're healing like they should be." Tamaki smiled and sat down on the bed next to him. "Do you want me to stay in the room with you? Or do you want me to leave?" 

Kyoya was silent for a moment. He didn't want to be alone but he didn't want Tamaki to see the wounds on his back. "Can you stay, please?" He asked softly and looked up at him. 

"Of course I'll stay." Tamaki said and sat down next to him again. 

"I don't want you to look though. I don't want you to have to see what he did to me." Kyoya said softly and looked away from Tamaki. 

"There's something else I need to tell you. The detective is coming in and he's going to take pictures for court as proof of what happened." Tamaki told him and sighed. "I'll see them eventually as I was asked to testify against your father. As was Fuyumi and your brothers." 

"When were you going to tell me?" Kyoya asked almost angrily and he looked over at Tamaki. "Were you even going to tell me any of this?" 

Tamaki shook his head. "I wasn't supposed to tell you, but I figured you needed to know. It was wrong to hide it from you. I think you need to know exactly what's going to happen in court." Tamaki looked over at him. "You're testifying first. I know the detective told you that you were last. The order we were told is you, me, Fuyumi, Akito, then finally Yuuichi. I am not sure if we were told the truth though." He told him and sighed heavily. 

Kyoya nodded slightly but he didn't say anything, looking at his hands. 

The doctor and Shizuka walked in a few moments later. "I assume you have been told of what we want to do?" 

He nodded slightly. "Yes." He said, still refusing to look up from his hands. 

"Okay good. I am going to lower the bed then take off the bandages. After that I'm going to need you to lay on your stomach for me." The doctor told him as he started to lower the bed. 

"Alright." He mumbled and finally looked up, looking over at Tamaki. He smiled sadly at him as the doctor had him lift his arms as much as he could as he took off the hospital shirt then the bandages. 

Tamaki watched as the bandages were removed and what he say made him sick to his stomach. Kyoya's entire back was red and the skin around the stitches was yellow with infection. Tamaki hadn't realized how many wounds Kyoya had and seeing it made him angry all over again. Kyoya had the wounds Tamaki cleaned for him but he also had cuts on his shoulders and neck, as well as more wounds between the ones he had already seen. If he was forced to guess, he would guess Kyoya had over thirty cuts over his back and neck. 

Tamaki grabbed Kyoya's hand tightly as the detective took out his camera and started taking pictures. "I now know why you didn't want me to see." Tamaki leaned close to him and whispered in his ear. "I want to kill your father more than ever now. I can't believe he would do this." He whispered and Kyoya turned his head to look at him. Tamaki kissed his temple softly. "How badly does it hurt." 

"Probably seven on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worse." Kyoya told him and smiled sadly. "After this entire week, I got used to it. The pain medication helps some, I think it would be worse without the medication." He said, speaking so the doctor could hear him and he slowly closed his eyes. 

Tamaki nodded and gently played with his hair to keep him relaxed. He looked over at his wounds again and he felt his eyes fill with tears. He hated what Kyoya had to go through and he wished he could do something to make him feel better. Tamaki felt useless though he knew Kyoya was comforted by his presence. He wanted to do something more for him. He longed to take away all his pain and suffering. Silently, he vowed to never let Kyoya be hurt ever again. 

"These need to be washed and resterilized. Also the bandages need to be changed again and I will prescribe antibiotics as this is one of the worst infections I have seen in a long time." The doctor told Kyoya. "I will have a nurse come in to clean them and I will go get a dose of antibiotics for you to take." 

Kyoya suddenly opened his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want some random person touching me... I don't want anyone to touch them." 

"All the nurses here are trained professionals. No one is going to harm you in any way." The doctor told him, trying to reassure him but Kyoya only shook his head. 

"I said no." Kyoya said coldly, but Tamaki could hear the slight tremor in his voice as he spoke. Kyoya was terrified of someone touching him after all he went through with his father. He didn't trust anyone to do something he couldn't see. 

"I'll do it." Tamaki said suddenly and looked down at Kyoya. "You trust me to do it, don't you?" He asked quietly, truly not sure if Kyoya trusted him or not. 

Kyoya just looked at him for a minute before slowly nodding. "I trust you." He whispered and closed his eyes again. 

Tamaki looked up at the doctor. "I'll clean the wounds while you go and get the antibiotics for him." 

Slowly, the doctor nodded, knowing there was no one else Kyoya would trust to touch him. "That is alright with me." He said and stood up. "There is proper soap and soft cloths in the bathroom. Use warm water and clean the wounds in there then come back out here and have him lay down again. I will come back with antibiotic cream and a pill then I will bandage the wounds again. We will have to repeat this process every other day until the infection clears up." 

Tamaki nodded and the doctor left the room with Shizuka behind him. "Come on, sit up." Tamaki whispered to Kyoya and helped the dark haired boy sit up again. 

When he sat up he opened his eyes, letting Tamaki see the tears that filled them and they ran down his cheeks. Tamaki looked at him sadly and gently used his thumb to wipe the tears away. "Don't cry. Everything is going to be just fine. I promise." Tamaki whispered and gently kissed his forehead. "The infection will clear up in no time because I am going to take perfect care of you. You will be back to yourself in time for the court date." He said softly, guessing that Kyoya wouldn't be ready to go back to school in April but he didn't tell him that. "Now, let's go to the bathroom and I'll clean them for you, okay?" 

Kyoya nodded reluctantly and he stood with Tamaki's help, holding on to his hands tightly. He walked with Tamaki into the bathroom where he sat down in the bathtub with his back to Tamaki, glad the wounds were on his back so he could hide his face from the blonde. 

Tamaki used the sink to fill a tub with warm water. He took the softest cloth off of the counter, wetting it completely before using the antibacterial soap to get some suds on the cloth. "This is probably going to hurt." He said softly as he began to gently wash his back. 

He dabbed the cloth gently over the wounds, careful not to put more pressure than necessary. He tried to ignore Kyoya's soft whimpers of pain that he was sure Kyoya was trying to hide from him. He could tell by the way Kyoya's body was trembling that he was crying but Tamaki knew he couldn't stop no matter how much he wanted to. 

"Tamaki, stop. Please." Kyoya mumbled suddenly, a slight desperation in his voice that he knew Tamaki would recognize. He knew it was Tamaki behind him but the feeling of someone touching him was too much to bare. It reminded him too much of what his father did and the feeling of helplessness that he felt that night suddenly came crashing over him. "Stop..." He said again, not even trying to hide the desperation and the pain behind his words. 

Tamaki immediately stopped at the sound of Kyoya's voice and he set the cloth on the edge of the bathtub. "Kyoya? What's wrong?" 

Kyoya wasn't able to respond, shaking his head in a blind panic. He leaned forward, grabbing the hospital pants he was wearing tightly, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't breathe as images flashed through his mind of what his father did to him. Every nerve in his body felt like they were on fire as he mentally relived each moment of what he went through. He could feel the pain like it was happening again and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't scream when he opened his mouth. 

Tamaki didn't hesitate as he got into the bathtub next to him. He gently turned him so they were facing each other. "Kyoya, you're okay. It's me, it's Tamaki." He tried to comfort him but Kyoya was to far into his own mind to even register his presence. 

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again, sir." Kyoya mumbled and Tamaki finally realized what was going on. "Please, no. I said that I'm sorry." He screamed slightly and he fell limply against Tamaki. 

He wrapped his arms loosely around him so he didn't hurt him and he ran his fingers through his hair. "Kyoya, please." He said desperately, not knowing what to do. Kyoya trembled in his arms, tears running down his cheek, and he was quietly pleading with the images in his head. Nothing Tamaki did helped him at all so he just held him and sang softly. He tried not to touch the wounds on his back, knowing that would only make things worse on Kyoya. 

Tamaki held him gently and tried to comfort him, doing anything he could think of to try to bring him back to reality. He had tried everything else when he made the decision to let go of him. He laid him down gently in the bathtub, getting up and kneeling on the ground outside the bathtub. All he could do was watch. 

Relief filled him as he saw Kyoya start to calm down. No matter how much he wanted to, he didn't reach out to him and he didn't say anything. After a few more minutes, he slowly opened his eyes. His eyes were puffy and red from crying and tears still ran down his cheeks. He looked up at Tamaki and almost immediately reached out to him. Tamaki grabbed his hand tightly in both of his and he gently kissed the back of it. 

"You're safe, I promise." Tamaki whispered and looked down at him. "Do you want to sit up?" 

Kyoya nodded slightly, not speaking. 

Tamaki gently helped him sit up and he took his hands tightly in his. "Are you alright?" 

Kyoya shook his head slightly and looked away from him. "No, but don't tell anyone. Please. No one else can know about this. I didn't even want you to know about this." He whispered. 

"Has this happened before?" Tamaki asked softly and looked at him, frowning. 

"Yes. Mostly just when I sleep but it has happened one other time when I was awake. I think you were in the shower." He told him quietly, hating admitting it to Tamaki. 

"Why didn't you tell me, I could have done something. Why haven't you told the doctor? There has to be something he can do to help you with this." Tamaki said quietly and looked at him sadly. "You can't continue to hide things like this from everyone who's trying to help you. You won't get better if you shut everyone out." 

Kyoya stayed silent for a moment, looking anywhere but at Tamaki. "If I don't shut out everyone, I'll just get hurt again and I don't know if I could handle that." 

"No one that has ever walked into this hospital room has had the intention of hurting you, Kyoya. We all just want to see you happy and healthy again." Tamaki insisted. "You have to stop hiding from everyone. I'm going to tell the doctor about this. You have post traumatic stress and you can not take that lightly. It will just get much worse if you do." 

Kyoya didn't respond, knowing that Tamaki was right. He nodded slightly and looked down at the ground. "Okay." He mumbled reluctantly and pulled his knees to his chest. 

Tamaki felt bad but he knew it was necessary. "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. I swear to you, Kyoya. No matter what." He told him seriously but Kyoya didn't respond, not saying or doing anything. Tamaki sighed quietly and looked at him. "I need to finish cleaning your back." Kyoya nodded and turned around with Tamaki's help. "I'll try to do it as quickly as possible." 

Lightly, he dabbed at the wounds and he hummed quietly to keep Kyoya as calm as possible. He washed over every wound whether it was a tiny scratch or a large cut made by a knife. 

Tamaki lightly ran the cloth over his wounds and he kissed his shoulder gently. "I'm almost done. I'm sorry that it hurts so badly." He whispered and reached forward, taking Kyoya's hand. He cleaned the wounds with gentle precision, making sure every spot was cleaned. Once he had washed every infected wound, he took a clean, wet cloth and wiped off the soap suds. Afterwards he took a dry towel and gently wiped off the water. 

"Alright, I'm done." Tamaki said softly and stood up. He put the cloths in the sink before going back by Kyoya, stepping over the side of the bathtub and sitting down next to him. "Are you okay?" Tamaki asked softly and took his hand again, lacing their fingers. 

Kyoya shook his head slightly and leaned against Tamaki, resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. "I didn't want you to have to see this. I didn't want any of you to see me like this. None of you will ever see me like I was ever again. Especially you, Tamaki. I can never go back to who I was." He sighed quietly. "Maybe after this is over I'll leave Japan." 

"Don't even think about it. You can't leave, Kyoya." He said and looked over at him. 

"Why not? This will get out of it hasn't already and then no one will ever look at my family the same again. I could get a new start somewhere." Kyoya sighed softly. "I suppose I could go somewhere in Europe." 

"I'll go with you. If you leave, so do I." Tamaki told him and rested his head on Kyoya's. 

Kyoya opened his eyes and slowly shook his head. "No. I said a new start. That means nothing from my old life. I wouldn't even keep my name." He told Tamaki although he didn't really want to leave the blonde behind. "I don't think it would be too hard for me to restart." 

Tamaki didn't say anything, trying to hide his hurt. "Don't detach yourself from the world just because something hurt you. You can't run away from this." He told him softly, his voice slightly cold. "If you run away, that just means you're afraid and the Kyoya I know doesn't get afraid so easily. The Kyoya I know never runs away from a situation that could be used to his advantage." 

"I thought you didn't approve of me using things to my advantage. You wouldn't approve of me using this to get sympathy from the most power families at Ouran. This could be a great opportunity for me..." Kyoya trailed off and looked down. 

"So you have been thinking about it." Tamaki said and looked over at him. "When have you ever cared what I have approved of? You are the one in charge, Kyoya. You always have been and now you sound afraid to be the one in charge. I know you could easily do it. Take control of this situation, make it yours." Tamaki told him softly, not approving of Kyoya's need to control but he's willing to do anything to make Kyoya stay by his side. 

"I have been thinking about it quite often. And you're right. I could easily do it within a day's work. This could be the perfect opportunity to surpass my brothers... I will not hurt their careers but I can go around them. Once in jail, my father will lose all control of his business and I can take over. Or I could be an unknown benefactor and let Yuuichi run everything while I watch from above." Kyoya said and a smirk crossed his features briefly. "Once my father goes down, my brothers wil need me... You're right, Tamaki. This could be very useful for me." 

Tamaki watched his best friend as he spoke, feeling ashamed that he encouraged his behavior. "That's not really what I meant..." 

"I know, but you helped me realize it's what I need to do and I thank you for that." Kyoya smiled slyly over at him. "It can't be too hard to take control of all this. After all, sympathy will not be hard to find once this gets out. Either people will be disgusted by this or they will be extremely empathic. We are designed for empathy so I am going to guess it will come out the second way." He said and no longer leaned against Tamaki. "We ought to go back into the room now, the doctor will return soon. Thank you again for cleaning the wounds." He smiled slightly at him, his personality reverting back to the Kyoya who was sick and in pain. 

"Yes, you're right." Tamaki nodded slightly and stood up, stepping over the edge of the bathtub before helping Kyoya to his feet. He looked at the dark haired boy and he saw the Kyoya behind the veil of kindness. He saw the true Kyoya and he didn't like it very much. Something felt off about his friend. Very off.


	11. Chapter 11

With Tamaki's help, Kyoya walked back into hospital room and sat down on the bed. He sighed softly and lied down on his stomach again, closing his eyes. A small smile crossed his features as he felt Tamaki running his fingers through his hair and his entire body relaxed. 

"You're tired again, aren't you?" Tamaki asked quietly, gazing fondly down at him. 

Kyoya reluctantly nodded after a moment's pause. "Extremely. I feel like all I do is sleep though..." 

"You're healing, it's only normal." Tamaki said and smiled reassuringly at him, gently playing with his hair. "Don't fight it. The more you sleep, the sooner you heal. No one is going to think less of you." 

"I suppose you are correct." Kyoya admitted quietly, finally giving into his exhaustion when the doctor walked in. 

"I apologize for how long I was gone." The doctor said and Kyoya reluctantly opened his eyes to look at him, not responding. "I had previously said I was going to get an antibiotic ointment, but upon further thought, I came up with a better option. I have brought medicated bandages. That will be better for you." He told him, trying to limit Kyoya's physical contact with anyone. 

"Alright." Kyoya nodded and his face remained impassive. 

The doctor nodded and took out the bandages. Before he could even speak, Tamaki held out his hand for them, knowing Kyoya wouldn't let anyone else do it. The bandages were placed in his hand and he set them down on the bed next to Kyoya. He took the top one and took the back off of it, gently placing it on part of one of the many large wounds. He felt Kyoya tense under his touch and he took his hand, gently squeezing it before letting go. 

"It's just me, Kyoya. Don't worry. Look at me." Tamaki whispered as he put another bandage on his back, covering the large wound. 

Kyoya turned his head and looked at Tamaki, repeatedly telling himself that it was Tamaki touching him. He managed to keep himself calm, refusing to take his eyes off the blonde as he put more bandages on the wounds covering his back. Tamaki used all the bandages to cover most of the wounds, leaving the ones one his neck and shoulders uncovered as they weren't as large or as infected. 

"I'm all done." He said softly and took his hand. "You did very well." He whispered and lightly kissed the back of his hand. 

He nodded and closed his eyes again, holding Tamaki's hand tightly. "Thank you... For everything." Kyoya muttered, not sure if Tamaki heard him or not as he wasn't trying to be heard. 

"You're welcome." Tamaki whispered and smiled softly at him. Let go of his hand, picking up the backs of the bandages and throwing them away before returning to his spot at Kyoya's side. 

"I can tell you're exhausted so I will get out of here as soon as possible. I brought an antibiotic that will make the healing process quicker and easier. It would be best to take it now, but I understand if you would rather take it after you rest." The doctor said and took the antibiotics out of his coat pocket. "Take one pill every twelve hours for seven days." 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "I'll take it now." He said and started to sit up on his own. His arms trembled as he tried to support his weight as he sat up. His arms gave out and he almost fell down but Tamaki grabbed him and helped him sit up. Kyoya glanced over at the blonde and smiled briefly. "Will you get me a glass of water?" 

"Of course." He smiled softly and he got up, filling a glass with water then taking it to Kyoya. He grabbed the pill bottle from the doctor as well, handing Kyoya the glass and a pill. 

"Thank you." Kyoya said quietly and took them from him. He took the pill and then handed the glass back to Tamaki. 

"I will leave alone for now so you can get some rest. If laying on your back is too painful, lay on your left side and put pillows behind you to keep you on your side." The doctor told him before leaving the room to let him rest. 

Kyoya did what the doctor said to and he laid on his side, Tamaki helping him put the pillows behind him. He also put a pillow in front of him to keep from rolling on to his stomach in his sleep. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, falling asleep without another word. 

Tamaki laughed softly as Kyoya had fallen asleep without any blankets or putting the bed at a comfortable angle. Tamaki smiled and pulled the blanket at the edge of the bed over Kyoya. He sat down in his chair again, taking his hand and turning on the television, staying by his side. 

  


Kyoya stayed in the hospital for another week. The doctor kept a close eye on his infection throughout the week, making sure it didn't get worse. Most of the time, Kyoya just slept, giving his body a chance to heal. 

Through the week, his condition improved. The infection got better and his rib fractures started to heal. The amount of his CD4 cells increased with the regular dosage of HIV medication and his dizzy spells decreased as his concussion healed. Every physical wound started to heal but his mental wounds got worse. Every time he fell asleep, he would have nightmares. He woke up in a cold sweat, crying, every time. Eventually he was forced to take sleeping pills so he wouldn't dream and get a restful night's sleep. 

On the twenty fourth of March, two days before the court date, Kyoya was finally cleared by the doctor to go home. His sister came that morning with a change of his own clothes for Kyoya. He was extremely reluctant to go home. 

At the hospital, he was safe, but he knew he wouldn't have that security that when he returned home. He was also terrified at the thought that he would have to go back into his bedroom after he was almost killed in there. He almost had several panic attacks at just the thought of going home. Kyoya never told anyone though. He kept it to himself so it seemed to the others that his mental condition was improving. He lied to everyone about how he felt, including the therapist he was forced to see. 

When it was finally time for him to go home, he went without a word. He changed into his own clothes with his sister's help, then he left the room supported by Tamaki, who still refused to leave his side. They took the elevator down to the main floor, exiting through the main doors where a car waited for them. 

Tamaki helped Kyoya into the backseat of the car before going around and getting in the other side as Fuyumi got in the front seat. Tamaki moved over to sit next to him and he took his hand tightly but gently. Kyoya didn't say anything as he laced their fingers together, looking out the window as they drove away from the hospital. As they got closer to his house, Kyoya's grip tightened on Tamaki's hand. He closed his eyes tightly when they turned on to his street, trying to calm his breathing without Tamaki noticing. 

That didn't go as planned "Kyoya, are you okay?" Tamaki asked softly so only Kyoya would hear him. 

"Yes, of course." He responded, managing to keep his voice steady as he answered. "Don't worry." Kyoya muttered and squeezed his hand gently. 

"I can't help but worry about you." Tamaki said and held Kyoya's hand tightly in both of his. "You would tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you?" 

"I would." Kyoya lied easily and nodded, looking over at him to make him think he was telling the truth. 

Tamaki smiled softly and lightly kissed the back of his hand. "Good." 

Kyoya faked a small smile and he nodded slightly as the car came to a stop in the driveway. Tamaki moved away from him and got out of the car. He walked around the car to Kyoya's side as the driver opened his door. Tamaki leaned down and helped Kyoya out of the car, taking a gentle hold of his upper arms and helping him turn to get his feet out of the car. Kyoya grabbed his arms and pulled himself to his feet with Tamaki's help.

He looked up at his house, feeling a lump form in his throat. He swallowed hard before starting to walk towards the house, Tamaki at his side in case he fell. They walked toward the house with Fuyumi in front of them. Without saying anything, Kyoya suddenly reached out and took Tamaki's hand. His grip was almost painfully tight and Tamaki knew he wasn't okay. He was worried but he didn't say anything, knowing Kyoya wouldn't tell him if he asked. Tamaki lightly ran his thumb over the back of his hand as Fuyumi opened the door for them, letting them in first. 

Kyoya reluctantly walked into the house, clinging to Tamaki's hand. His house hand never been a really safe place for him but it was much worse after what his father did. He knew his father hadn't been to the house in almost two weeks but it still felt like he was going to walk around the corner at any moment. Everything reminded him of his father, how the house smelt and the empty wall where their family picture used to hang. He stopped a couple meters inside the door, feeling like was going to be sick. 

"Kyoya?" Tamaki asked softly when he stopped walking. He looked over at him, frowning deeply. "Are you okay? 

Kyoya only shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He let go of Tamaki's hand and ran to the nearest bathroom just as his mother and brothers came into the entrance hall. He barely made it in time, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet and throwing up several times. 

Tamaki immediately ran after him without even thinking about. He went into the bathroom, getting Kyoya a glass of water before kneeling down next to him and putting his hand gently on his back. "What's wrong?" He asked softly when he finished throwing up, handing him the glass. 

"I can't do this... I can't stay here." He said quietly and sat back on his legs, pushing his glasses back up. He took a drink of water, rinsing out his mouth before flushing the toilet and taking another drink. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since we left the hospital. I thought I would be okay as long as I didn't go into my bedroom, but I was wrong... If walking through the door made me sick, imagine how I would react to anymore." He looked down, defeated. "I can't do this..." He mumbled again, putting his face in his hands. 

"Come stay with me." Tamaki said without hesitation. "You don't have to stay here." He told him and looked at him, moving closer to him. 

Kyoya shook his head. "Your father and grandmother would never approve of that. They probably don't even want you seen with me anymore." 

"I really don't care what they want. I want you to come live with me for as long as you need to, maybe even longer." Tamaki said quietly and smiled softly. "I mean, I'm staying here with you anyway, so, it really wouldn't change anything if you came and lived with me. You'd be better of there with me." 

He nodded slowly. "I suppose you are correct. I do think I would do better there than here... I don't want to put that kind of pressure on you though. I also don't want you to ruin what little amount of approval you have gained from your grandmother." He said, not looking at Tamaki. 

Tamaki gently used his free hand to turn Kyoya's head to make him face him. "I already said I don't care about that. I want you to come leave with me and I am not going to take no for an answer. You can't just ignore how you're feeling and stay here. Don't force yourself to do something you can't, please, Kyoya." He said quietly and gently moved a stray hair out of his face. "Please..." 

He looked at him for a moment before nodding. "Alright. I'll come live with you for a while." 

"Good." Tamaki said softly, kissing the top of his head gently. "Are you feeling better?" 

Kyoya nodded. "Yes. I am not as nauseous now. I don't think I'm going to be sick again." 

"Do you want to leave now then?" Tamaki asked. 

"In about five minutes. I want to speak with my family before we go." Kyoya told him and slowly got to his feet with Tamaki's help. 

Tamaki nodded and smiled softly. "I'll go get some of your things for you. Do you want anything other than clothes?" 

"Make sure you have my school uniform and shoes. As well as my phone and its charger. Grab my black book and my laptop as well, please." Kyoya said and smiled slightly. 

"Alright. Tamaki smiled at him before leaving the bathroom, heading through the house to Kyoya's bedroom. 

Kyoya walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway where his family waited. 

"Are you alright, Kyoya?" Fuyumi asked and tilted her head slightly, looking at him. 

He nodded. "Yes, I'm fine, but I can't stay here. I'm going to Tamaki's house until I can get back on my feet." Kyoya told his mother and siblings. "It is nothing against any of you, I just can't be here yet." 

His mother was about to say something when Akito cut her off. "You're with Tamaki Suoh, aren't you?" He asked, not caring about anything else. 

Kyoya frowned but nodded. "Yes, but that is no one's business except mine and Tamaki's." 

"Then you can definitely go live with him. We don't need your homosexuality ruining our family's reputation any further." He said and turned, walking away. 

"Ignore him, Kyoya." His oldest brother said though he wasn't happy about it either. "So you're going to go live him with for a little while?" 

"Yes." He said, trying not to let Akito's words get to him. He put his words out of his mind for the time being. "I promise I'll call as often as possible." he told them as Tamaki came from behind them, carrying a large bag full of Kyoya's stuff. 

"Are you ready?" He asked and smiled warmly at him. 

"Yes." He responded. Kyoya nodded at his brother before hugging his sister then his mother. 

"We love you, Kyoya. I know we never tell you, but it's true." His mother said and hugged him tightly, not seeing as he winced slightly. 

"I know." Kyoya said, not saying it back. He pulled away from his mother and walked away without another word, Fuyumi handing Tamaki the back from the hospital as he followed Kyoya out. 

"Is everything okay?" He asked and took his hand once they were away from Kyoya's family. 

He shrugged slightly. "Not really but it doesn't matter. I've gotten used to nothing being alright anymore." 

"I heard what your brother said. Just ignore him." Tamaki said and held his hand tightly. 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "He's right though. I have ruined our family's reputation. If it was up to Akito and my father, I would have just stayed in my room that night and bled out." He laughed slightly without humor. "I guess that would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. My father could have just said that I was jumped on the street and that would have been the end of everything. It might have been much better that way." 

"Don't say things like that, Kyoya! Don't even talk about yourself dying." He said seriously and looked at him as they walked outside. "Your death would make nothing better." 

"We're going to have to talk about it eventually. I am going to die long before you." He said, walking towards the car that was waiting for them. He opened the car door and climbed in with Tamaki's help. Tamaki walked around the other side of the car and got in, watching Kyoya closely as they left his house to go to Tamaki's.

"I just got you home, I don't want to talk about it right now. Besides, you have plenty of time before we have to worry about that." Tamaki said and looked over at him. 

Kyoya shrugged slightly. "I'm not so sure about that. The doctor said he wasn't sure whether or not the medication would continue to work this well. He said I could have several years or a couple months. That's why I have to get blood tests every week." 

"Stop, please." Tamaki said quietly and looked away. 

Kyoya shrugged slightly and stared out the window as they drove, his elbow on the armrest and his chin in his hand. He wasn't able to stop thinking about what his brother said to him. It really was his fault that their family's reputation was tarnished and he was just ruining it further by being with Tamaki. He looked over at the blonde, about to speak when he was cut off. 

"No. I know that look and whatever you're going to say, don't. If you think about until tomorrow and you still want to say it, I'll let you, but not right now." Tamaki said and looked over at him. "Just wait, okay?" 

He nodded slightly and held out his hand to him. Tamaki moved closer to him and gently took his hand, lacing their fingers. Kyoya leaned against him and rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes. 

The more he thought about it, the more he realized Tamaki was right by not letting him say it. The one good thing in his life was Tamaki and he didn't want to throw that away. His grip on his hand tightened slightly and his nuzzled his shoulder gently. 

"I love you, Tamaki." Kyoya whispered, saying it first for the first time. "It may not seem like it, but I do." 

"I know, and I love you too." Tamaki said softly and slid his arm very lightly around his waist, careful not to hurt him. 

Kyoya smiled softly, closing his eyes and resting against Tamaki. They stayed that way for the twenty minute ride to Tamaki's.


	12. Chapter 12

Once they arrived at Tamaki's, Kyoya slowly sat up and looked out the window. He didn't feel a wave of nausea and he was glad that Tamaki had asked him to live with him for a while. Tamaki moved away and got out of the car as Kyoya opened the door. He tried to get out of the car by himself, managing to get his legs out but when he tried to pull himself out he lost his balance. Luckily, Tamaki was right there and he managed to catch him before he hit the ground. 

"You're not supposed to do that." Tamaki said and helped him stand up straight. 

"I know..." Kyoya said and frowned slightly. "I just wanted to see if I could." 

"I figured as much." Tamaki smiled and reached around Kyoya into the car, grabbing the bags. "Let's go inside." He said and held a hand out to him. 

Kyoya nodded and took his hand, following him towards the house and going inside behind him. "Where am I staying?" 

"Well... You could stay in a guest room or you could just stay in my room with me." Tamaki said and smiled slightly over at him. "My room is big enough where you could have your own space, and I would be there if you need me, and um..." He trailed off, trying to think of more reasons for Kyoya to stay with him. 

Kyoya laughed softly and smiled at him. "If you want me to stay with you, just say it." 

"I want you to stay with me." Tamaki said and smiled back. 

"See, that wasn't so hard." Kyoya teased and walked further into the house with him. 

"So, that's a yes? Right?" Tamaki asked hopefully. 

He nodded. "Yes, yes it is." 

Tamaki grinned and held his hand tightly as they walked up to his bedroom. He swung their hands slightly and Kyoya rolled his eyes fondly at him. He opened the door, letting Kyoya in then following him. They walked over to the bed and Tamaki sat Kyoya's stuff on it. Kyoya sat down as well and immediately began digging in his bag. He pulled out his black book and his laptop. 

"What are you doing?" Tamaki asked and sat down next to him. 

"Working. School starts in a week and I am very behind on all my calculations. If I'm going to catch up, I need to start now. Luckily I did all the homework the day after school got out." Kyoya said and started his laptop, opening his book. 

"The doctor told you to rest and take it easy for the next few days. He also said you aren't going back to school right away, so take it easy." Tamaki told him and held his hand out for his book. 

"I didn't listen to the doctor while we were in the hospital and I'm not about to now." Kyoya said and didn't even look up at Tamaki. He started typing, occasionally stopping to write something down. "And I am going back to school next week." 

Tamaki put his hand down, rolling his eyes slightly. "Are you at least going to listen to the part about eating at least three times a day? Because if so, you need to eat something because you haven only eaten once today." 

"I'll eat something." Kyoya complied but he didn't stop working. 

Tamaki smiled and leaned over, just kissing his temple. "I'll be right back with something." He said and stood up, walking towards the door. 

"Remember, the doctor said nothing too heavy." Kyoya told him. 

"I know." Tamaki chuckled softly and walked out of the room. 

Kyoya continued to work until he couldn't focus anymore. He knew Tamaki was right that he needed to rest so when his vision started to blur, he saved his work and shut down his laptop. He set the laptop down on the bed and he put his black book on top of it. He moved to rest against the headboard of Tamaki's bed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

Tamaki came back upstairs about fifteen minutes after he left. "I brought some oatmeal with berries and a glass of water. Make sure you drink all the water and eat as much as you can." He said as Kyoya opened his eyes to look at him. 

"I know." He said and sat up, taking the bowl from Tamaki. Tamaki sat the glass of water on the table next to the bed then he walked around and sat next to Kyoya. Kyoya smiled slightly at him before he slowly started to eat. He wasn't very fond of eating yet as it usually upset his stomach but he knew it was necessary if he wanted to heal properly. Also he needed to gain weight. He had lost even more weight while he was in the hospital, weight he didn't have to lose in the beginning. He went from one hundred and fifteen pounds to one hundred pounds. 

"I know you know, but it's my job to take care of you until you feel better and this is part of it so you'll just have to put up with it. Besides, I'm still worried about how underweight you are and so was the doctor." Tamaki said and leaned back against the headboard, looking over at him. "You took all your pills at the hospital right?" Tamaki asked but sat up and grabbed the bad with the stuff from the hospital. Kyoya nodded but he ignored him and dug through it until he found the notebook where he had started to write down Kyoya's medication. "According to this you did, but you get another dose of morphine at five thirty, which is in about a hour." 

"Alright." Kyoya said, not bothering to tell Tamaki to stop taking care of him as he knew the blonde would never listen to him. He ate slowly, starting to feel nauseous after only a few bites. He started to set the bowl down, but got a glare from Tamaki. "I don't feel good." He explained but he held the bowl still. 

"You should eat half of it no matter how you feel, that's what you had to do in the hospital and you never actually got sick, so eat at least a few more bites." Tamaki said and took a pencil out of the binding of Kyoya's medical notebook. He wrote down what he ate and when. 

Kyoya sighed heavily but he did what Tamaki said, eating four more spoonfuls before setting the bowl on the bedside table. He picked up the glass of water and sipped from it. 

"Once you finish that glass, you will have had four glasses of water today. So that's half of what you need." Tamaki told him and made another note in the notebook. "You have also been up for a little under seven hours, so you have about five hours before you need to sleep. The doctor said to try to sleep for twelve hours as frequently as possible and not to fight any of your exhaustion still." 

Kyoya sighed slightly into the glass as he sipped from it. "Did you write every little thing the doctor said in that book?" He looked at Tamaki out of the corner of his eye. 

"Not everything, that would be unnecessary. I only wrote down the important things." Tamaki said though he had wrote down a lot more than that. He had written down all the symptoms Kyoya had presented so far, all his medication, and all the things he could eat and drink.

He laughed quietly, shaking his head slightly. He finished the glass of water and set it down before looking at him again. "You wouldn't be six pages into the notebook with only important notes. I do think it's sweet you care so much though." He said fondly and looked over at him. No one had ever cared about him like Tamaki did, especially his family. 

Tamaki smiled widely and leaned in, kissing his temple softly. "I'm glad you think so."

Kyoya sighed contently and leaned against him, closing his eyes. "Have you told your father and grandmother I'm staying here?" 

"Nope, but they both like you so it shouldn't be a problem. They think you're a good influence on me and you keep me grounded. I think they're right." Tamaki said and wrapped his arm loosely around Kyoya's shoulders. 

He smiled softly and cuddled into his side, moving slightly and wrapping an arm around Tamaki's waist from the front. "I think we're a good influence on each other." 

"I agree." Tamaki said quietly and reached over to grab the tv remote off of the table on his side of the bed. "Let's watch a movie or something." 

"Alright." Kyoya said softly and opened his eyes so Tamaki wouldn't pick anything stupid or annoying. 

Tamaki turned on the television and the first thing to come on was the news. He quickly changed the channel when he realized what the lead story was and he hoped Kyoya didn't notice. He looked over at him and say him frowning. 

"Turn that back, I want to know what they have to say." Kyoya said, curious because he had no idea what was going with anything outside the hospital while he was stuck there.

Tamaki reluctantly changed the channel back to the news program, tightening his arm around Kyoya. 

The reporter was in mid-sentence. _"accused of raping and beating his seventeen year-old son to the point of almost killing him. The renowned Yoshio Ootori is going into the trial on Tuesday, pleading not guilty though there are rumors of overwhelming evidence in favor of the prosecution. The Ootori patriarch has high standings within Japan so an impartial jury may be hard to find. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Kyoya Ootori in this trying time. We have also gotten word of the support from the Suoh, Hitachiin, Haninozuka, and Morinozuka families in favor of Kyoya Ootori."_ The news reporter moved on to a different story and Tamaki changed the channel before looking over at Kyoya for his reaction. 

"It's not as bad as I thought." He commented quietly. "We do have strong evidence that can not be ignored even if the jury isn't without bias. I can't believe he is still pleading innocent." Kyoya said and moved closer to Tamaki. "He's not stupid though so he has something planned... I just don't know what." 

Tamaki nodded slightly. "I just think he doesn't want to go to prison and he's focusing on his social standings to keep him free. It won't work though. You are backed up by all the families of the host club, and no one is dumb enough to go against any of our families. Especially when we all stand as one." 

He nodded. "How do they know about the support from your families?" Kyoya asked and looked up at him, still resting his head on his shoulder. 

"My father went public condemning your father's actions after I asked him to and soon the rest of the host club's families did the same. As did other families from the school. Whether it was to help themselves or you, it works in our favor." Tamaki told him and smiled softly. "I told you I would do whatever I could to put your father in prison and that's exactly what I'm doing." 

Kyoya smiled slightly and nuzzled him. "Thank you, Tamaki. I don't know what I would have done without you these last couple weeks. You have been my rock and my everything." Kyoya whispered and looked down so he didn't make eye contact with Tamaki. 

"You're welcome. Besides, I like being needed by someone. I enjoy feeling wanted." Tamaki whispered and lightly kissed his hair. 

"So do I..." He muttered and closed his eyes, sighing contently as Tamaki tightened his arm around him. "I'm nervous for the trial." Kyoya admitted softly after a moment of silence, unsure if Tamaki heard him or not. 

Tamaki nodded slightly. "I can tell." 

"I am so afraid that we won't win and my father will try to kill me again, but actually succeed this time. If he walks out of that courtroom, the first thing he will do is come after me and I am terrified of that." Kyoya whispered, keeping his eyes shut. "I hate him so much and I hope he rots in prison. He can't hurt me again if he's behind bars..." 

"And that is exactly where he is going to end up. You said it yourself, we have overwhelming evidence against him. We have his DNA and no respectable court in the world would just ignore that." Tamaki told him and held him close. 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "You're right..." He said softly, Tamaki's words making him feel slightly better. "So, what movie do you want to watch?" He asked, obviously trying to change the subject and Tamaki allowed him to. 

"I'm not too picky. Any suggestions?" Tamaki asked and looked down at him. 

He shook his head. "We could just pick any random movie and watch that." 

"That sounds like fun. We could either get a really good movie or a really bad one. If we do get a bad one, it may be more entertaining than a good one." Tamaki said and closed his eyes, scrolling through the television menu without stopping for ten seconds. He stopped scrolling and opened his eyes at the same time. "It looks like we're watching Beauty and the Beast." Tamaki laughed quietly. "I do enjoy the occasional Disney movie." 

Kyoya smiled and opened his eyes. "Play it." 

Tamaki nodded and pressed play before setting the remote down. He leaned back against pillows of his bed and kept his arm wrapped tightly around Kyoya. He rested his head on Tamaki's shoulder and watched the movie with him. Both of them knew the movie was just an excuse for them to do nothing except sit in bed, as close as possible to one another. About half way into the movie, Kyoya felt his eyelids grow heavy and he started to drift off. He didn't bother to fight to stay awake as sleep overtook him. 

It didn't take long for Tamaki to realize Kyoya had fallen asleep because of his even breathing and because he didn't yell at him when he sang along to the movie. He lowered the volume of the television and kept his arm wrapped tightly around Kyoya as he watched the rest of the movie by himself. Once the movie was over, he turned the television off completely and gently laid Kyoya down on the bed as he got up to get something to eat. Kyoya was too deeply asleep to realize that Tamaki had left the room. 

Several hours later, Kyoya woke to hushed voices arguing outside the door. He was still half asleep, but he could make out the voices of Tamaki, his father, and his grandmother. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes to wake himself up. He stayed silent as he listened to their argument. 

Tamaki's grandmother was scolding him and Kyoya heard enough to know it was something to do with him. The longer he listened, the clearer their voices became. He realized Tamaki and his father were trying to convince his grandmother to let him stay. He heard Tamaki's grandmother reprimanding him about bringing Kyoya into the house without her permission and about being in a relationship with him. 

Their voices soon raised to the point they were almost yelling at each other. Tamaki was close to getting his way when his grandmother said, "I never thought my grandson would be homosexual." She was to the point she sounded more surprised than angry, 

After a brief pause, he heard Tamaki's response. "I'm not. I just love him. I don't care about his gender, I just care about him. I don't like men, I like Kyoya and that's it. I wouldn't care if he was a man or a woman, the only thing I care about is that he's my Kyoya. You have to know what I mean, Grandmother, you know what love feels like. I feel the same way about Kyoya as you did for my grandfather. I'm begging you, please let him stay with us." Tamaki said and Kyoya smiled slightly as he heard him talk about him like that. 

"You're more like your father than I thought." Tamaki's grandmother said and sighed. "I suppose he can stay. You're lucky I think he is a good influence on you, Tamaki. He is a well respected young man that you could learn a few things from. Keep that in mind as he stays here." 

"Thank you, very much, Grandmother. I will, I promise." Tamaki said and Kyoya could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Don't make me regret my choice." She said and then Kyoya heard her footsteps as she walked away. 

"I won't!" Tamaki called after her and then his voice dropped to a whisper as he started talking to his father again. 

Kyoya stopped trying to listen and he slowly laid back down, smiling softly as he thought about what Tamaki said to his grandmother. He started to drift off again with a small smile on his face when Tamaki came back into the room and he opened his eyes. The light from the door was just enough for him to watch Tamaki walk towards the bed. The tiny crack of light from the doorway illuminated Kyoya's face as he smiled fondly up at Tamaki. 

Tamaki looked down at him and smiled slightly. "Did you hear everything I said?" He asked as he laid down next to Kyoya, holding his arm out to invite him into his embrace. 

"Not everything. Just what you said to your grandmother about me." Kyoya told him and moved close to him, laying on his left side and cuddling against Tamaki with his head on his chest. He gently draped his arm over his waist and smiled. 

Even though it was dark, Kyoya knew Tamaki was blushing. "You probably think it's really cheesy don't you?" 

"No, I think it's sweet." He said quietly and smiled. "Did you really mean it?" 

Tamaki nodded though Kyoya couldn't see him. "Every word." 

Kyoya didn't respond verbally, tightening his arm around him as a silent response. Tamaki smiled and held him close, reaching up and running his fingers through his hair. He easily fell back asleep in Tamaki's embrace, feeling safe and loved. Soon Tamaki fell asleep as well, one arm wrapped around Kyoya and the other at his side, his hand grasping Kyoya's.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Kyoya meet with his lawyer and Detective Shizuka once more before the trial. They made sure all of the evidence was in order and that everything was prepared for the trial. Their meeting lasted several hours and by the time the others left Tamaki's, Kyoya was exhausted. Tamaki forced him to eat something and take his medication then he spent the rest of the day and night asleep. 

He woke early the next morning to Tamaki throwing clothes on top of him and talking a mile a minute. "Okay, so we have two hours before we have to be at the courthouse. That's enough time for you to shower while I go downstairs to get breakfast and your morning medications. When I get back, I'll help you with the bandages on your back and your clothes." He said as he dug through the bag he brought from Kyoya's house. Kyoya didn't even start to get up, choosing instead to pull a pillow over his face. "You have to get up or we are going to be late. We can not be late." Tamaki said and grabbed one of his shoes out of the bag, pointing it at him. "'You heard me, Kyoya. Up." He insisted and prodded at his leg with the shoe. 

"I am never late for anything." Kyoya mumbled, barely audible through the pillow. "So if I say five more minutes, I can afford to take five more minutes." 

Tamaki rolled his eyes. "That was before you got hurt. You are much slower right now and you need more time to get ready. So, get up and go take a shower." He told him as he found his other shoe in the bag. "I knew I had both of them." He mumbled to himself before poking at Kyoya again with the shoe. "Come on. Get up or I will pick you up and carry you into the bathroom." 

Kyoya groaned slightly but finally started moving. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before reaching over and grabbing his glasses. He put them on before getting out of bed. He walked around the bed towards the bathroom but he was stopped when Tamaki stood in front of him. "Didn't you want me to go shower?" He asked, slightly annoyed about being woke up though he knew Tamaki was right. 

"Good morning to you too." Tamaki said and smiled at him, kissing his cheek before moving out of his way. 

Kyoya rolled his eyes slightly, but smiled when Tamaki couldn't see his face. He walked to the bathroom that was connected to Tamaki's bedroom, walking in and closing the door behind him, but not locking it. 

"Don't forget to keep the water on the softest pressure and not too warm. Don't freeze yourself either." Tamaki called after him, setting Kyoya's shoes down on the bed. 

"I know." Kyoya responded and smiled to himself, starting the shower then undressing, taking his shirt off first. "Can you help me with the bandages?" He called out to Tamaki. 

"Of course." Tamaki said and pushed open the bathroom door. He made Kyoya stand in front of the mirror so he could easily see that it was only Tamaki behind him. Tamaki gently took of the bandages, making a pile of them on the counter until he was done then he threw them in the garbage. "Do you need anything else?" He asked and Kyoya shook his head. "Alright, then I'm going to go get breakfast. Don't be afraid to call for me if you need anything." 

"Okay." He nodded and smiled slightly as Tamaki left. Kyoya waited until Tamaki closed the door behind himself then he finished undressing. He folded his dirty clothes neatly and set them on the counter before reaching in to check the water temperature. He waited until it was to his liking before slowly getting in, wincing slightly when the water hit his back as he still wasn't used to it. 

He took his time showering until he heard Tamaki walk back in the other room then he quickly finished up and got out. Kyoya dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist, glancing at his back in the mirror and he noticed that the wounds looked much better than before. He smiled slightly to himself before leaving the bathroom, grabbing his dirty clothes on the way out and putting them in Tamaki's hamper. 

He started to get dressed as Tamaki flipped through his notebook. "What do you take right now?" He asked him without looking up from the book. 

"Thirty milligrams of morphine which is one pill, forty milligrams of Prozac which is two pills, and one pill of the Triumeq." Kyoya answered as he put his pants on then dried his hair with the towel. "Don't forget your medication trying to deal with mine." Kyoya told him and put the towel around his shoulders. 

"I took mine downstairs." Tamaki said as he took out all the pills Kyoya told him to. "I also made you breakfast. It's peanut butter on whole-grain toast, a scrambled egg, and a glass of milk. Try to eat as much as you can and take your medicine then I'll put clean bandages on your back." 

"Alright." Kyoya agreed, finding it easier just to do what Tamaki said instead of fighting him. He walked over to the desk in Tamaki's room where he had set his breakfast. He sat down and started to slowly eat as he looked over at Tamaki. "Did you eat breakfast?" 

He nodded. "Yeah. I had cereal earlier this morning." 

"How long have you been up?" Kyoya asked and reluctantly ate his breakfast. 

Tamaki glanced over at the clock before answering. "About two hours." 

"You've been up since seven?" Kyoya raised his eyebrows slightly and Tamaki nodded. "For what?" 

"I wanted to make sure everything was prepared for today." He responded and sat down on the bed, looking over at Kyoya. "Everything has to go according to plan." 

Kyoya smiled slightly. "And it will, so you can relax for a few minutes." He said and set his fork down, unable to eat anymore. Kyoya glanced down at his plate, pleasantly surprised that he ate almost all the toast, half the egg, and drank half of the glass of milk. 

"It seems like you have regained your appetite at least a little bit." Tamaki commented and smiled. 

He nodded. "A little bit. This is probably what it was the six months before the incident. I still have a long way to go to get back to a healthy weight." He told him then took his medication. 

"You'll get there, don't worry." Tamaki said and smiled softly. "Do you want me to bandage your back now?" He asked and Kyoya nodded, standing. "Let's go into the bathroom so you can see me in the mirror." 

"No... I want to try it without that again." Kyoya said and he was surprised when Tamaki agreed. 

"Alright. Turn around." He said and grabbed the bandages off of the bed where he had laid everything out earlier. 

Kyoya nodded and turned so his back was to Tamaki. He took a deep breath as he felt Tamaki place the first bandage, tensing for a second then relaxing when he remembered it was just Tamaki. The bandages were placed on his back quickly by the blonde so Kyoya wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable for any longer than necessary. 

After less than five minutes, Tamaki was done and he placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder as he did after every time he put the bandages on. "You did extremely well that time, Kyoya." He said and smiled at him. 

Kyoya nodded slightly, feeling proud of himself for not having a breakdown at the feeling of someone behind him. "If only I could do that every time someone stood behind me." 

"Small steps, remember? Don't push yourself." Tamaki said and grabbed Kyoya's shirt off the bed, holding it up for him to put it on. Kyoya reached back slightly and let Tamaki help him put the shirt on. He started to button the shirt but his hand were trembling too much from his nerves. "Turn around." Tamaki told him and Kyoya did as he was told. Tamaki buttoned up the shirt for him before also tying a tie around his neck for him. 

Kyoya smiled softly in him the looked at himself in the mirror. "How do I look?" 

"Handsome and respectable." Tamaki answered and stood next to him in the mirror, smiling fondly at him. "I could probably stand here and look at you all day, but we should probably get going." 

Kyoya rolled his eyes slightly and nodded. "Alright, let's go." 

Tamaki nodded and grabbed Kyoya's medical bag off of the bed and slung it over his shoulder before taking his hand. They walked out of the room together and Tamaki led him downstairs where Yuzuru was waiting for them. Kyoya went to let go of his hand when he saw Tamaki's father but the blonde just held on tighter so he didn't try again. 

"Ready?" Yuzuru asked and both boys nodded simultaneously. "Let us be off then." He said and opened the door for them. 

The three males walked out to the car together. Yuzuru got in the front passenger seat and Kyoya and Tamaki got in the back. They drove the thirty minutes to the courthouse in silence, Kyoya and Tamaki still holding hands. The entire drive, Kyoya stared out the window and he tried to suppress the nausea building in the pit of his stomach. 

"Are you alright?" Tamaki asked him softly. 

He shook his head. "I'm nauseous." He told him as they pulled up in front of the courthouse. "I'm scared too..." He whispered so only Tamaki could hear him. 

"I know, and I wish there was something I could do." Tamaki gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and climbing out of the car, walking over to the other side to help Kyoya out. 

Kyoya opened his door as Tamaki came to help him out. He turned so his legs were out of the car then he grabbed Tamaki's hands and pulled himself to his feet. He smiled slightly at Tamaki in thanks and he let go of his hands as soon as he had his footing. Tamaki frowned slightly at him, but Kyoya didn't feel like their relationship was anyone's business so he didn't take Tamaki's hand at first as they walked into the courthouse. 

"I'm going to be sick." Kyoya muttered and suddenly stopped walking, pressing his hand again wall to his right. He doubled over slightly as he tried to get himself under control. 

Tamaki quickly hurried over to his side and helped him stand straight up. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" 

He shook his head. "I can't do this, Tamaki. I can't..." He said and grabbed his hand tightly. "I thought three weeks would be far enough away from the incident but I was wrong. I can't see him, Tamaki. Not yet." Kyoya mumbled and leaned against the wall, Tamaki keeping him on his feet. 

"This is your one chance to put your father in prison for years. We can never get you a court date like this ever again. You have the best judge in the region. You can't give up today." Tamaki said and gently lowered him to the ground, kneeling in front of him. He cupped his cheeks gently and forced Kyoya to look at him. "You can get through this. I will be by your side almost the entire time and if I'm not right next to you, I will always be in the room with you. I will make sure everything goes according to plan and that your father doesn't get anywhere near you even if I have to step between the two of you, okay?" He whispered and Kyoya nodded slightly. "Good. Now, can you stand and come the the courtroom or do you need to go to the bathroom first?" 

"I can go to the courtroom." Kyoya mumbled and slowly got to his feet with Tamaki's help. This time he didn't let go of his hand, needing his constant presence in order to stay calm.

"Let's go then." He said softly and held onto his hand tightly, lacing their fingers. "If you don't feel good, just tell me and we can ask for a short break. The judge knows that you don't feel well, so hopefully he'll be a little more lenient with breaks." Tamaki told him and led him towards the courtroom. 

"Alright..." Kyoya nodded slightly, his grip on Tamaki's hand tightening the closer they got to the room. "I just want all this to be over." Kyoya whispered to Tamaki. 

"After today, it will be. You will never have to worry about him hurting you ever again. And you will be safe." Tamaki told him and gently squeezed his hand. 

Kyoya didn't say anything and he looked down his feet as they walked. He felt his nausea return greatly as they entered the courtroom, he refused to let it show on his face though. He remained perfectly composed as he walked up to the front of the room where his lawyer already sat waiting. He ignored the cameras and the press around the room, sitting down in the chair next to his lawyer. He only lost his composure when his back was to everyone but Tamaki. 

"I'll be right here the entire time." Tamaki whispered when he saw how terrified Kyoya really was. "Please, don't worry. I promise you that I will not allow anything to go wrong." He smiled softly and kissed the top of his head gently, not caring who saw. 

Kyoya nodded slightly and sighed. "Thank you." He said quietly and Tamaki smiled. 

He went to sit down down, holding Kyoya's hand until he couldn't reach anymore and he reluctantly let go as he sat down on the chair directly behind Kyoya, near to where his siblings already sat. 

Kyoya's leg shook slightly and his mouth felt dry. He clenched his hand in a fist and he looked down at his lap, closing his eyes briefly. The door to his right suddenly opened and he looked over, feeling his stomach churn as his father walked in. Kyoya wasn't surprised that he looked no different than the last time he saw him. He was very neatly groomed and in his best suit. 

His father smirked at him and Kyoya glared back, barely maintaining his calm exterior. Once Yoshio sat down and started talking to his lawyer, Kyoya faced Tamaki. He was extremely pale and he couldn't catch his breath, looking at Tamaki desperately. 

The blonde got up immediately and bent down slightly, looking into his eyes. He held one of his hands tightly and his other hand went to gently cup his face. "Breathe. He can't hurt you in here." He whispered, trying not to draw attention to them. 

Kyoya struggled to take a deep breath, shaking terribly as he clung to Tamaki's hand. He eventually managed to inhale slightly, able to breathe in short gasps of air. 

"Remember what I told you earlier, you have to stay calm. Panicking now will only hurt you. Just take slow deep breaths and know that you are safe." Tamaki whispered and Kyoya nodded, calming his breathing down slowly. 

"Sit by me... Please." Kyoya mumbled and looked up at him, struggling to keep himself under control. 

"I can't, but I am right behind you. I am just over an arm's length away. Don't worry." He whispered and stood up straight, kissing his forehead softly. "I think the trial is about to start. Remember, stay calm and don't be afraid. Absolutely nothing can happen to you in here no matter what." 

Kyoya nodded and stayed composed as he watched Tamaki go back to his seat less than ten feet behind him. He turned his head to face the front again, his leg starting to shake again. He tapped on the arm of the chair slightly, looking around the courtroom. He saw the other members of the host club sitting in the area behind him as well as his mother, Tamaki's father, and Haruhi's father. Haruhi saw him looking and she smiled softly. He nodded slightly at her, unable to even fake a smile. He saw the pity in her eyes and he turned away from her, not wanting anyone to feel sorry for him. Part of him wished he didn't have people who cared, but he knew he needed them. He wouldn't admit it to himself though. 

"Please rise for the honorable Judge Takahashi." A voice suddenly rang out through the courtroom and everyone got to their feet. The judge entered the room from his chambers at the front and he took a seat. Once he was seated, everyone else sat as well. 

"Court is now in session."


	14. Chapter 14

Kyoya sat up straighter in his seat and looked directly forward at the judge, refusing to let his eyes wander around the courtroom like they wanted to. He listened as the judge said a few words, reminding everyone of the rules and proceedings of the court. Afterwards, Kyoya's lawyer addressed the court. 

He tried to pay attention but he found himself glancing around the room. His eyes ultimately landed on his father, who was wearing a smirk with an air of confidence. He looked amused. Kyoya knew he had something planned, he wouldn't be so arrogant otherwise. 

He turned his gaze away from his father when his own lawyer sat back down next to him. He looked confident so Kyoya guessed his opening statement went well. Kyoya looked to the front again as his father's lawyer got up to make his statement. The man began talking and Kyoya paid close attention, trying to figure out what he was planning. Everything was as Kyoya expected until the subject of witnesses was brought up. According to the lawyer, there was one witness testifying for his father on the basis that he was with him at the time of the crime. 

Kyoya's eyes widened slightly and he glanced at his lawyer who was mad, but not surprised. Anger swelled in Kyoya as he realized something else was hidden from him but he knew better than to say something to his lawyer at the moment. He glanced back at Tamaki to see if the blonde knew. 

Tamaki looked at him apologetically and mouthed, "it wasn't my choice. I'm sorry," to him. Kyoya nodded briefly and looked away from him, trying to conceal his anger. 

His lawyer got to his feet once again and went in front of the table as the judge spoke. "The prosecution may call its first witness." 

"We call Kyoya Ootori to the stand." He said and Kyoya slowly got to his feet. 

He felt nauseous and weak but he refused to let it show. He walked over to the witness stand and once he swore to tell the truth, he sat down. His hands shook and he held them in his lap, keeping them, along with his fear, hidden. 

"Will you tell the court what happened the night of March fourth?" His lawyer asked. 

He nodded before beginning his story. He made sure to include every necessary detail while keeping his voice even though he felt like he was going to be sick. Remembering what his lawyer said, he made sure his voice was never emotionless like when he told the story previously but he was also careful not to be overly emotional. His complexion paled as he went further into the story. By the time he finished the recount of the night, he was trembling slightly and he was near to throwing up. He glanced at Tamaki, the blonde on the edge of his seat ready to run to Kyoya should the need arise. 

Tamaki looked at him, asking him if he was okay with a slight tilt of his head. Kyoya nodded just barely so only Tamaki would notice before looking at his lawyer again. 

"Was this the first time this occurred." He asked. 

"No. It has happened before." Kyoya answered. 

The lawyer nodded. "How old were you the first time the defendant abused you?" 

"Twelve." 

"Was this the first time hospitalization had been necessary?" He questioned and moved closer to him, walking slightly as he questioned him. 

"Yes. This was the first time any of the wounds had been serious enough." He told him. His hands still trembled but his nausea decreased as he was able to keep himself calm. 

"Because of the abuse you suffered, you needed surgery and stitches? You also had several broken ribs, a concussion, severe blood loss and spent a week in a coma, is this correct?" The lawyer asked. 

"Yes." 

"Were you also diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and HIV?" He asked. 

"I was." Kyoya responded. He was beginning to feel weak and he tried to keep himself from slumping in the chair. 

"Who gave you HIV?" The lawyer asked, feeling quite good about how Kyoya answered all the questions. 

"My father." Kyoya said and nodded briefly towards him. 

The lawyer nodded and looked at the judge. "I have no further questions." He said and walked back to his seat. 

Kyoya looked at him, barely paying attention as his father's lawyer stood to question him. He was obviously weak and he looked like he was going to pass out. His lawyer realized this but he ignored it, not calling for a recess though Kyoya was obviously desperate. 

"You have HIV and you accused my client of transmitting it to you. Is there any chance that you got it from someone else?" He asked, intending to draw out the questioning to make Kyoya's answers less reliable as he got weaker. 

"No. I have never had sexual contact with any other person, nor have I had blood to blood contact with anyone." He answered calmly, trying to keep himself alert and strong. 

His father's lawyer was momentarily thrown off by his calm and intelligent answer, but he quickly composed himself by asking a second question. "This all started when you were twelve. That is five years previous. Why didn't you report the abuse previously?" He asked, hoping to throw Kyoya off, seriously underestimating his intelligence. 

"I was afraid to. My father has always been very controlling and it scared me. I had always thought that if I were to call the police, he would kill me, or worse, hurt my mother or sister." Kyoya answered without hesitation, having thought through the answer to that question many times. 

He once again was thrown off. He never expected an eighteen year old boy to be as intelligent as Kyoya was and it was enough to make the rest of his questions worthless. "I have no more questions." He said dejectedly and made his way back to seat, almost pouting. 

Kyoya was excused from the witness stand and he slowly stood up, feeling light headed and he had to grab the railing on the witness stand to keep from falling. Tamaki was immediately on his feet and he went towards Kyoya without hesitation. He helped him stand up straight by wrapping an arm around his waist and he helped him back to his spot next to his lawyer. Once Kyoya was seated, his lawyer stood up and requested a break in the court proceedings for Kyoya to gain his strength back. He was granted his request and Tamaki helped Kyoya up again then out of the courtroom. They walked to a bench about ten feet from the room and Tamaki knelt down in front of him after helping him sit down. 

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly and he took his hands tightly. 

Kyoya nodded slightly and leaned back, closing his eyes. "Yes... I just needed a break. I really hate talking about what happened and it was especially hard in front of so many people I know. After this, I can't hide what happened anymore." He said softly and sighed. He suddenly realized something and he opened his eyes to look at Tamaki. "This was the first time you heard the story, wasn't it?" 

"Yes and it made me angry all over again." Tamaki told him and moved to sit on the bench next to him. Kyoya leaned against him and Tamaki's arm immediately went around his shoulders. "I can't believe he did that to you. I mean I can, it's just so horrible. I just never want to see you hurt like that ever again." 

Kyoya nuzzled him and smiled slightly. "I like having someone that cares about me like you do." 

"I hate how it's new for you." Tamaki said quietly and pulled him closer. "Do you need to take anything before court starts again? We only have ten minutes." 

"I probably shouldn't take too much, but maybe a couple Tylenol and something to settle my stomach." Kyoya said quietly and he sat up. 

Tamaki nodded and bent down, grabbing Kyoya's medicine bag off of the ground. He pulled out Tylenol, stomach pills, and a bottle of water. "Will you try to eat something as well?" He asked and looked over at him. 

"No. I don't want to throw up in the middle of the courtroom." Kyoya said as Tamaki got the pills for him and handed them to him. "I already feel like I'm going to be sick and I don't want to add fuel to the fire." He said before putting the pills in his mouth and taking a drink of water. 

"I suppose that's reasonable." Tamaki said and put everything back in the bag. "Are you feeling better now that you're not in there?" 

Kyoya nodded. "Yes, definitely. I really do not want to go back." 

Tamaki smiled slightly. "I wish I could tell you that you didn't have to, but we both know you do. At least you probably don't have to go back up to the witness stand. You did great, by the way. You're lucky you're so smart." 

He laughed softly and smiled. "I don't really remember what I said to my father's lawyer clearly, but he looked like a deer in headlights when I answered him. That shows him as incompetent. Especially because I'm not even an adult." 

Tamaki rolled his eyes slightly and smiled. "He did. Your father also looked extremely upset. It definitely did not go as planned for them." 

"That works well for us." Kyoya said quietly and leaned against Tamaki. "How long do we have left until we have to go back?" 

"Five minutes." Tamaki answered and gazed fondly over at Kyoya, who had his eyes closed again. 

He nodded and sighed heavily, not saying anything. Kyoya struggled not to fall asleep as he rested against Tamaki and he opened his eyes again, wishing that everything was over and he could just leave the courthouse. They sat together in silence for a few minutes before Tamaki gently nudged him. 

"We have to go back." He whispered and Kyoya reluctantly sat up. 

"Let's go." Kyoya said and got to his feet. Tamaki stood as well and they walked back into the courtroom. 

They returned to their seats, as did everyone else. Once everyone was seated, the judge called for order and the trial resumed. Kyoya's sister was called to the witness stand and was questioned by both sides. Yoshio's lawyer had lost his arrogance and he was much less confident. After his sister, the doctor was called to the stand. 

He swore to tell the truth before Kyoya's lawyer began questioning him. "You were the victim's doctor the night of the fourth?" 

"Yes. I saw him that morning after surgery." The doctor answered. 

"That morning, was a rape kit performed?" He asked. 

The doctor nodded. "Yes it was. As soon as he was stable after surgery, a rape kit was done as well as several blood tests for signs of drugs as sexual abuse was suspected." 

"Can you tell us the results of those tests?" 

"The rape kit came back positive, with the DNA of Yoshio Ootori. In the blood tests there were no signs of Ketamine, Flunitrazepam, or GHB, drugs common in sexual assault. Neither were any other medications. The blood tests did show a low CD4 cell count, a sign of HIV." The doctor explained to the court. 

"Can you conclude anything from the results?" The lawyer asked, walking as he spoke. 

He nodded. "In my professional opinion, the evidence shows that Yoshio Ootori sexually assaulted Kyoya Ootori and transmitted HIV to him." 

"What is HIV?" The lawyer asked. 

"It is a virus that attacks and weakens the immune system. A person with HIV is very susceptible to many illnesses and there is no cure. HIV eventually progresses into AIDS, which is fatal." The doctor explained. "Because of the disease, Kyoya Ootori is dying." He said and Kyoya felt his stomach drop. He had always known he was going to die, but he had never heard it from someone else. He was tempted to look at Tamaki, but he didn't because he knew he wouldn't be able to stand the look of despair on his face. 

"What of the other injuries? How severe were they?" He asked, looking at the doctor. 

"The other injuries were extremely severe. His spleen ruptured and he would have bled out without the surgery he received, during the surgery code blue was called twice. Meaning, his heart stopped twice. A blood transfusion was also necessary because of the internal and external bleeding. The wounds on his back also became infected, which weakened him further because his own immune system couldn't fight it." The doctor told the court. 

"I have no further questions." Kyoya's lawyer said and returned to his seat. 

The defense lawyer had no questions for the doctor. After the doctor returned to his seat, Yuuichi was questioned by both lawyers then Akito was as well. 

Kyoya and his lawyer had a fairly solid case whereas his father and his lawyer did not. Kyoya could tell that they were starting to get nervous and that made him feel better about the trial. He was much more confident when the chances of his father going to jail increased. 

Kyoya was lost in his thoughts when Tamaki was called to the stand. The only thing that drew him out of his thoughts was Tamaki swearing to tell the truth. He looked over at Tamaki and watched him closely. 

"How long have you known about the abuse suffered by Kyoya Ootori?" The lawyer asked. 

"About a year and a half. I learned about it during our first year of high school." Tamaki answered. 

"How did you come to know about it?" He questioned. 

"I came over to Kyoya's house unexpectedly and since he had told me where they kept the spare key, I just walked in. I heard yelling coming from his bedroom so I went to see what was going on and I saw his father hit him. He was hit so hard, he fell to the floor and then repeatedly kicked by his father. His father kicked him until he wasn't moving then he left the bedroom. I hid from him in the next door guest room and once I heard him leave the house I went into Kyoya's bedroom. I made sure he was alive then I sat with him until he woke up. Once he woke up, I helped him off of the floor. I asked him about what happened and after several times of me asking, Kyoya finally told me mostly everything." He told them and looked at Kyoya briefly. 

"Have there been other incidents similar to this one?" The lawyer asked. 

"Yes, several." Tamaki responded. 

The lawyer nodded. "I have no other questions." He said and sat down again. 

Yoshio's lawyer immediately stood to question Tamaki. "Is it true that you are in a romantic relationship with the victim." 

"Objection." Kyoya's lawyer stood. "That has nothing to do with anything in this case." 

"Sustained." The judge said and Kyoya's lawyer sat back down, smirking slightly. 

"Why did the victim confide in you? You are the only person outside the family who knew about this, correct?" The other lawyer asked, using a different question to find out the status of Tamaki and Kyoya's relationship. 

"Because I'm his best friend and he trusts me. Yes, that's correct." Tamaki nodded slightly. 

"Is it possible that you were lied to about the circumstances of the, so called, abuse?" 

Tamaki frowned and shook his head. "No. I saw it, I wasn't just told about it." 

"Could you be lying to the court because of your close relationship with the victim? Is it true that you are lying on his behalf because you feel pity for him?" He asked moved closer to Tamaki, who was beginning to get slightly flustered. 

"No. I do not lie." Tamaki said, keeping his answer brief so he didn't say something he would regret. 

"Why didn't you call the police the first time you saw the victim abused? The lawyer asked. 

"I was too focused making sure Kyoya was still alive." He said, grasping his hands tightly in his lap. 

"What about afterwards?" 

Tamaki took a deep breath to calm himself before answering. "Kyoya asked me not to. His father had threatened to kill him should the police be contacted. He was afraid for his life and that of his mother and sister." 

The lawyer was surprised when Tamaki was able to answer rationally and he decided not to continue with his questions. "I have no further questions." He said before taking his seat next to Kyoya's father. 

Tamaki then went back to his spot, looking apologetically at Kyoya because he knew he had gotten too emotional for a moment. Kyoya gave him a tiny, reassuring smile and he felt slight relief knowing Kyoya wasn't upset with him. 

Kyoya's father and his lawyer requested a brief recess. They were granted one to keep things fair between the two sides. 

During the break, Kyoya and Tamaki went back in the hall. Kyoya took his pain medication and he agreed to eat the granola bar Tamaki had packed. They sat in the hall until the break was over then they went back inside the courtroom, taking their seats. Kyoya's father and his lawyer then got their turn to present a few pieces of evidence in his father's favor. 

A new witness was called to the stand. A severe man in his late forties that Kyoya had never seen before came forward and took his place on the witness stand. The man testified on behalf of his father, claiming that Yoshio Ootori was in business meetings with him all that day and that night when their dealings went late into the night, stayed in the guest bedroom of his manor. Kyoya's lawyer did not question the man and Yoshio's lawyer then rested their case. They had placed reasonable doubt and that's all they could do as the evidence against them was so strong. 

After the defense had rested, Kyoya's lawyer had one more chance to prove his father guilty. Kyoya was worried as he didn't know what was going to happen as so much was hidden from him. His lawyer called Yuuichi back to the stand. 

"Was your father at your home the night of March fourth?" His lawyer asked. 

"Yes. We have security cameras placed around our house that I had turned on after my brother had ran from the house the night before so we would be alerted when he arrived home. I must have forgotten to turn them off." Yuuichi answered and glanced at his father, seeing the fear that crossed his features briefly. Yoshio hadn't known about the cameras being on. 

"Is there proof of the fact Yoshio Ootori was home?" 

"I have the video." Yuuichi said and a laptop was brought in along with a projector. He started up the laptop as it was brought to him and it was connected to the projector. He pulled up several videos that the entire court could see. "This is March fourth at five thirty p.m. when my father returned home." He said and gestured at the time stamp in the corner of the video. The video clearly showed his father getting out of the car and walking into the house. He split the screen between two videos, one of their front door and one of their back door. "The next time anyone left the house was that night when Kyoya ran out." Yuuichi said and brought up the video of Kyoya stumbling out the door and getting into a car. 

"Is there any other exits in your home?" The lawyer asked. 

"No, just the back door and the front door. He would not have been able to get out of the house any other way." Yuuichi answered and looked at the lawyer. 

"I have no further questions." He said, sitting back down and Yuuichi returned to his seat as well. 

Both sides rested their cases and the judge instructed the jury on how to decide their verdict. After the judge finished talking, Kyoya's lawyer stood to make his final argument to fully persuade the jury. He restated the irrefutable evidence presented against Yoshio and he urged the jury to reach a verdict of guilty. Kyoya's lawyer finished speaking and then his father's lawyer stood to make his final argument. Their case was nowhere near as solid and they couldn't bring about any reasonable doubt upon Kyoya's case against his father. 

Once both sides had made their arguments, the jury was excused to a room to the side where they would decide on a verdict. 

Tamaki moved his chair forward to sit next to Kyoya and he took his hand, looking over at him. "Now we wait..." He whispered so only Kyoya heard him. 

"Who would have guessed that this would be the hardest part." Kyoya whispered and looked back at him. "I know our case was strong, but I'm terrified. There's nothing I fear more than hearing the words not guilty come from the jury." He mumbled and sighed. "I just hope we don't have to wait long." 

"I can't promise you everything will be okay but, I think it will be." Tamaki told him and smiled reassuringly at him, caressing the back of his hand gently with his thumb. "I doubt it will take very long at all." 

Kyoya nodded slightly but he didn't say anything. He leaned back in his chair, looking down at his and Tamaki's hands. His hands were shaking slightly and Tamaki tightened his grip slightly, trying to comfort him as best he could in public. Kyoya leaned over and rested his head on the blonde's shoulder, closing his eyes as he tried to keep his breathing even to keep himself calm as they waited. 

They waited for over three hours for the jury to reach a verdict. Several times Kyoya almost lost control and he had to leave the courtroom with Tamaki in order to calm himself down before he had a full panic attack. The longer they had to wait, the harder it was for Kyoya to keep his emotions under control. His mind kept telling him it was taking so long because his father was going to walk free and he would think of everything bad that could happen until he got so worked up that he started to hyperventilate. Every time, Tamaki would take him out into the hallway and calm him down. Eventually, they just stayed in the hallway so Kyoya wouldn't be as stressed. When the jury had finally reached a verdict, Fuyumi was sent out to get Tamaki and Kyoya, the later having fallen asleep. Tamaki woke him up and then they walked back into the courtroom together. They each took their proper seats and then the jury reentered the courtroom. 

"Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?" The judge asked. 

"We have." The foreperson responded and when the judge nodded to her, she continued. "The jury finds the defendant guilty." 

Kyoya felt a weight lift of his shoulders as the verdict was announced and he immediately looked back at Tamaki, his relief clearly shown on his face. Tamaki grinned at him and Kyoya smiled back slightly. 

Everyone in the courtroom had began muttering and the judge called for order before dismissing the jury. Yoshio Ootori was then sentenced to sixty years in prison with no chance for parole. After sentencing, the court was adjourned and Kyoya watched as his father was handcuffed and escorted by police out of the courtroom. 

He slowly got to his feet and before he could even think, he went to Tamaki and hugged him tightly. Tamaki's arms wrapped around him, hugging him so tightly he was almost lifted off his feet. He clung to the blonde and buried his face in the crook of his neck, closing his eyes tightly. 

"I can't believe it's finally over." Kyoya mumbled. "It doesn't seem possible that it's over after five years of being beaten by him." 

"It is over and you will never be hurt by him again. You will never be hurt by anyone ever again, I won't allow it." Tamaki whispered and held him tightly, gently kissing the top of his head. "I love you, Kyoya." 

"I love you too." He whispered and lifted his head, kissing Tamaki's lips very briefly. 

Tamaki looked down at him in surprise. "What was that for?" 

"It was me saying thank you, and that I really do love you." Kyoya whispered and smiled softly at him. 

Tamaki smiled widely at him and hugged him tightly, lifting him off his feet. Kyoya's eyes widened and he quickly tightened his arms around him, not expecting to be lifted like he was. "I love you so much, Kyoya." Tamaki said happily, holding onto Kyoya extremely tightly. 

"I love you too, idiot. Now let go of me." Kyoya said, unable to hide the fondness in his voice and Tamaki let go of him but took his hand right away. 

"Let's go home." Tamaki said and started to lead him out of the courtroom where the rest of the host club waited for them. 

"I don't think we're going home alone." He commented as they walked out of the courtroom to their friends. 

Tamaki smiled widely. "I know. That's why I already invited them over." 

Kyoya laughed softly and held Tamaki's hand tightly as they made their way out of the courthouse, their friends and family following.


	15. Chapter 15

A week after the trial, school started. Kyoya wasn't cleared by his doctor to go back right away because of his PTSD and the strict schedule he had to take pain medication so he was forced to sit home alone while Tamaki was at school. Everyday Tamaki brought Kyoya's school work home with him and he easily was able to keep his place at the top of their class. He busied himself with extra school work and the work he did for the club, even though Tamaki insisted on waiting to open the club again until Kyoya was able to be a part of it again. 

After two weeks, Kyoya was finally able to go to school with Tamaki. He was only able to go half days to start out as his doctor didn't want him to get overly stressed. At school he had to ignore the whispering of the other students every time he passed large groups. He also had to pretend not to see the looks of pity from his teachers and they way they were very careful with what they said around him. No one was ever direct enough to actually approach him with their whispered comments because everyone knew that Kyoya was still in power in the school and he still scared them. 

Kyoya stopped listening to his doctor's instructions a week into going back to school for half days and he stayed for the full day even when Tamaki tried to get him to go home by locking him out of the building. When Kyoya just sat outside, Haruhi eventually stole the keys from Tamaki and let him in. Tamaki stopped trying to force Kyoya to go home after that, he did keep a close eye on him though and he wouldn't let him go anywhere alone. 

A couple weeks of school passed and Kyoya started to realize why he wasn't supposed to go back to full days for a month. He started to fall asleep in school and when he wasn't able to take pain medication every six hours, his back and chest hurt so badly he had trouble walking. Several times he would fall asleep in class and wake up in the nurse's office, unable to remember where he was. Tamaki would then take him home and force him to stay home the next day by locking him in the bedroom until after school. Luckily, all Kyoya had the strength to do on those days was sleep. 

Even though he knew he was overexerting himself, Kyoya continued to go to school. He stopped taking all of his medication in the morning, hoping that he would be less exhausted halfway through the day. When he didn't take the pain medication, he just got worse. He stayed awake but he had muscle pain along with the pain from his back and his ribs, causing him to be barely able to walk. During the school day, he had tremors that didn't go away until he took the medication when he returned home. Tamaki started to notice after three days and he finally confronted him about his reckless behavior. 

Kyoya had started getting up before Tamaki so there was no chance that he could be locked in the room, but Tamaki made sure he was up first to confront him. He was up and dressed before Kyoya even woke up that morning. Tamaki had locked the bedroom door but he was still in the room with Kyoya when he woke up. 

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was Tamaki dressed and the door shut. "Are you locking me in again?" He asked and slowly sat up, yawning while rubbing his eyes. 

"If I have to." Tamaki answered and sat down on the bed next to him. "I want to talk to you." 

Kyoya sighed and grabbed his glasses off of the nightstand before looking over at Tamaki. "What is it?" 

"You need to start taking better care of yourself, Kyoya. I know you don't like to admit it, but you are still sick. If you keep pushing yourself like this you are just going to get worse and I'm worried about you." Tamaki said and looked at him. 

"Tamaki, you don't need to worry. I-" 

"I know you don't take your medicine in the morning. I know during the school day you go through minor withdrawal then take four pills when you get home to make the pain and the tremors stop. I know you take four instead of two so I won't notice that there are extra pills in the bottle until after school." Tamaki cut him off and his words left Kyoya speechless so he continued. "I know how much pain you're in when your at school. You can barely walk up a flight of stairs. Did you think I wouldn't notice something like that? Do you think I care for you so little that I would turn a blind eye if I did notice? Why are you putting yourself through this when you could just stay at home a little longer and feel so much better?" 

Kyoya looked away before answering. "I don't want to just sit here anymore. I am not weak anymore so I'm not going to just sit here when I could be at school." 

"But you are weak, Kyoya! No matter how much you deny it, you are not at your full strength yet and you are never going to be unless you quit pushing yourself like this. If you keep this up, you are going to end up back in the hospital." Tamaki insisted, trying to get him to see how unreasonable he was being. 

"I don't want to die sitting in this room when I could be actually living! I don't want to die without spending as much time with you as possible and making my life worth something. I can't die just sitting here..." Kyoya said, his voice breaking and he refused to look at Tamaki as he had started crying. "I don't want my life to go by sitting alone in this room because I'm sick..." 

Tamaki was speechless for a second and when he spoke, his voice had lost all of the harshness in it previously. "Kyoya, you have plenty of time to live. You need to get your full strength back first or else you won't have that time." He told him quietly and moved closer to him. "Look at me, please." 

"I don't have plenty of time. We have no idea how much time I have." Kyoya muttered and finally turned around to face Tamaki. "You heard the doctor at the trial, I'm dying, Tamaki. I'm dying as we speak." 

"Don't say that..." Tamaki whispered and reached up, gently wiping his tears away with his thumb. "I'm not going to let you die..." 

"It isn't up to you. I am going to die, probably soon, and that is something we both need to face." Kyoya told him, barely able to look at the pain on Tamaki's face. "I'm going to end up leaving you, Tamaki and you need to be ready for that. We have to talk about this no matter how much we don't want to." 

Tamaki took his hand gently. "No matter how much we talk about it, I will never be ready to lose you." 

"I know... You have to at least be prepared." Kyoya said and looked down at their hands. "I wasn't going to tell you this, but the doctor called me yesterday." 

"What did he say?" Tamaki asked quietly and ran his thumb over the back of Kyoya's hand, looking at him. 

Kyoya swallowed hard and refused to meet Tamaki's eyes. "The count of my CD4 cells stopped increasing in the last blood test. They haven't decreased, but they are nowhere near where the doctor expected them to get. Also, he said that amount of HIV cells in my blood was extremely high. He told me I couldn't go back to school for the next month as I am at high risk of getting sick to the point of hospitalization even if exposed to something very mild and non-life threatening." 

"What was your CD4 count this time?" Tamaki asked softly, trying to remain calm as he could tell Kyoya was close to breaking. 

"Four fifty. It should be over six hundred by now if the Triumeq was working properly." Kyoya answered, his tears starting to fall faster than before. "The amount of HIV virus in my blood was almost ten thousand copies. I'm getting worse, Tamaki." He pushed his hair back and showed Tamaki the increased amount of swollen lymph nodes on his neck. "I am terrified..." 

Tamaki cupped his face gently with his free hand, trying to wipe away with tears. "I know you are and I will do whatever I can to make you feel better." Tamaki whispered and leaned forward, kissing his forehead softly. "Did the doctor say what you're going to do now?" 

"He said that I'm going to continue with the Triumeq for the next month and see if anything improves in my next blood test. If it doesn't, we're going to change my medication to something stronger." He told him quietly. "I don't want to die, Tamaki... I want to live a long life with you..." Kyoya's whispered desperately and his voice broke as he dissolved into tears. 

Tamaki immediately moved forward and he wrapped his arms tightly around Kyoya. Kyoya collapsed against him, pressing his face against his chest as he sobbed. He held onto him tightly and ran his fingers gently through his hair, kissing his head repeatedly as he tried to comfort him. He felt Kyoya reach up and grab the back of his shirt, clinging to the fabric as he cried 

Kyoya let himself break as Tamaki held him, no longer holding back any of his tears or his sobs. After weeks of holding back all his emotions, he found himself unable to stop crying so he gave up fighting it. "I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you, Tamaki." He mumbled through his sobs. 

"I know, Kyoya... I know." He whispered and tightened his arms around him, wishing that he could tell Kyoya that he wasn't going to die but that would just be lying to him and Kyoya wasn't stupid. "I would do anything to make this better..." 

He didn't say anything, know that Tamaki could say nothing in response to his thoughts that would comfort him. Tamaki couldn't tell him that everything was going to be okay because they both knew that it wasn't going to be. Kyoya knew he was going to die no matter what, he just didn't want to. 

Tamaki held onto him until his tears eventually stopped and even when he wasn't crying, Tamaki wouldn't let go of him "Let's both stay home today." Tamaki said quietly and nuzzled his hair gently. "I think we both could use a day off." 

"Alright." Kyoya whispered, his throat raw from crying. "I'm going to take my medication since we're staying here." He said and slowly pulled away from Tamaki's embrace, already starting to tremble as he hadn't taken anything in almost twelve hours. 

"Bring it out here." Tamaki said quietly as Kyoya went into the bathroom, wanting to see him take it so he knew he took something. 

Kyoya got the medication then walked back into the room, showing Tamaki what was in his hand before taking the pills. He swallowed them with a drink of water then he went back to Tamaki, who had changed back into his pajamas. 

He got back into bed next to the blonde and immediately he moved close to him. Tamaki wrapped an arm around him as they laid next to each other, Kyoya resting his head on Tamaki's chest. "Will you promise me something?" He asked quietly. 

"That depends on what you're asking." Tamaki whispered and gently ran his fingers though Kyoya's hair. 

Kyoya swallowed hard before speaking. "When I die, move on... Find someone that can make you happy. Please don't let yourself be alone forever just because I'm gone, Tamaki..." He whispered and moved closer to the blonde. 

"I am not promising that... I can't." Tamaki said immediately. "There is no one else I could ever possibly love like I love you and I don't want to. No one can make me happy like you make me happy, Kyoya." 

He sighed quietly and he didn't say anything for a moment. Tamaki had said what he expected but not what he wanted. Kyoya closed his eyes and moved as close to him as possible. "I don't want you to be alone forever because you can't let me go, Tamaki... I'm going to die, but that doesn't mean you have to die along with me." 

"Yes it does." Tamaki muttered so Kyoya wouldn't hear him. "I'm never going to promise something like that no matter how many times you ask, so just stop." 

Kyoya didn't say anything, wishing that Tamaki would make the promise even if he didn't mean it. That would at least make Kyoya fell slightly better about dying. 

The two laid on the bed in silence and Tamaki gently played with Kyoya's hair as he started to fall asleep. Kyoya eventually fell asleep, his mediation making him drowsy and his crying made the exhaustion worse. Tamaki stayed awake as the dark haired boy slept, watching over him as he was extremely worried about him after everything Kyoya had told him. He was also terrified that he was going to lose Kyoya sooner then he thought. He knew how sick Kyoya was and that he was dying, he just didn't want to admit it to himself. 

Eventually, Tamaki fell asleep as well, his arms wrapped protectively around Kyoya.


	16. Chapter 16

For once, Kyoya actually did what the doctor told him to do and he didn't go to school. He got noticeably weaker as the month went on and the condition of his HIV worsened. After a week of Tamaki going to school on his own, he decided to stay home with Kyoya. Everyday, he went to the school to get their work and they did it together in Tamaki's bedroom as Kyoya had gotten too sick to get out of bed. 

When he started getting really sick again, Tamaki called his doctor and he spent several hours on the phone trying to convince him to see Kyoya sooner than the appointment over three weeks away. The doctor refused to as Triumeq could start to work again and he wanted to be positive that they had exhausted their options with the Triumeq before switching the medication to something stronger. 

After three weeks, Kyoya became even sicker. Tamaki had to take him to the emergency room when one night he stopped breathing in his sleep. He was admitted to the hospital with severe pneumonia and his doctor finally agreed to change his medication from to Triumeq to Stribild. He had no choice when Kyoya's CD4 count dropped below three hundred and fifty and the amount of virus in his blood was over twenty thousand copies. 

While he was in the hospital, Kyoya was kept heavily sedated for five days as he needed to be intubated in order for him to breath. Tamaki never left his side while he was sick, extremely worried about him and he barely got any sleep as he was always watching over Kyoya. 

After the five days, Kyoya was able to breathe on his own and the tube was removed, allowing the sedation to end and him to wake. When he woke up, the first thing he saw was Tamaki and he knew he was going to be okay when he saw the blonde. 

Tamaki was sitting on the edge of the bed next to him and gently playing with his hair, gazing down at him. "It's good to see you awake again. You scared me, but the doctor says you should be just fine." He told him quietly and kissed his forehead. 

He nodded slightly, not speaking yet, and he reached out, taking Tamaki's hand tightly. 

Tamaki held his hand tightly in both of his, leaning down and kissing the back of his hand softly. "We've been here for five days, if you were wondering." He told him quietly. "The doctor also finally agreed to change your medication. You're supposed to start taking it as soon as possible." 

He nodded and looked up at the blonde. "Did you stay here the entire time?" He asked, his voice extremely soft and scratchy. Kyoya suddenly started coughing roughly, using his free hand to cover his mouth and trying to sit up. Tamaki let go of his hand and helped him sit up, holding him up as he coughed without pausing for almost ten seconds, When the coughing stopped, he was extremely out of breath and he let Tamaki support him completely as he leaned against him. 

"Of course. I wasn't going to leave you here alone." He said quietly as he gently laid Kyoya back down. "How are you feeling?" 

"My chest hurts and I can barely breathe. It hurts to inhale." He mumbled and closed his eyes. "I'm so mad, Tamaki... This could have been prevented. We knew the Triumeq wasn't working and we could have done something but the doctor refused to and now I can't breathe. I want a new doctor as soon as possible." 

Tamaki nodded slightly though he knew Kyoya had his eyes closed. "I guessed you would say that. Fuyumi got your brothers to help her look for a better doctor. They found someone, but he's over an hour away and I didn't know if you would agree to that." 

"I don't care how far away he is as long as he's a competent doctor. I would go to a different country if it was necessary." Kyoya said, willing to do anything that will lengthen his lifespan. He wasn't ready to die and leave Tamaki. 

He started coughing again, his cough deep, ragged, and extremely painful. As soon as his coughing stopped he slumped back against the bed, breathing heavily and unable to catch his breath. He didn't tell Tamaki he couldn't breathe but he saw how Kyoya was struggling and he immediately got up, getting the oxygen mask and turning the machine on like the doctor showed him. Tamaki gently removed the cannula from his nose and from around his ears before quickly replacing it with the mask, putting the strap around his head. 

Kyoya slumped slightly in the bed, keeping his eyes closed tightly as he was able to breathe with less difficulty. Tamaki sat back down next to him and gently caressed his hair, trying to keep him relaxed. He was soon able to catch his breath but he left the oxygen mask on as he didn't want to struggle to breathe any longer. He no longer fought the fact that he was extremely weak; he just gave up. 

Tamaki noticed the lack of fight in Kyoya and he felt his heart sink; he had never seen him give up like that before and it scared him. He knew Kyoya was tired of fighting and he knew he couldn't expect him to keep fighting forever. Tamaki laid down on the bed next to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. Kyoya curled up against him, the tubing to the oxygen mask draped over Tamaki. 

Kyoya slowly pulled the oxygen mask down so he could speak, his head resting on Tamaki's chest. "I'm scared, Tamaki... I'm dying and I've realized that I don't want to... I don't want to die and I don't want to be sick. I don't want to give up, but I can't fight this Tamaki. If the new medicine doesn't work, then I'm as good as dead..." He whispered, his voice breaking and he felt Tamaki tighten his arm around him. "I tired of fighting and always losing..." 

"You can't give up, Kyoya. The new medicine has a much higher success rate, so we still have hope. You have to keep fighting..." Tamaki said softly and looked down at him. 

He shook his head slightly. "I have no reason to keep fighting." 

"No reason? What about our relationship? What about your career after high school? Just think of all the things you can accomplish, Kyoya." He told him quietly and pulled him closer. 

"Do you really think I can get into med school with HIV? No one will ever let me around patients when there's the possibility that I could infect them. There's nothing left for me to do when I get older, if I get older. There's no point in going to school anymore, even if I could go to school. Tamaki, I have no hope left in my life. Even in our relationship, it's not going to end well. I'm going to die before we're old enough to have a true relationship. We'll never be able to have a family or get married, there's no point in any of this. Especially when you could be happy with someone who isn't dying." Kyoya said quietly, his voice emotionless. 

Tamaki frowned deeply as he listened to all the things Kyoya said and how little he seemed to care. "You can't actually think like that... You don't know how much time you have, you can't give up. You just can't... I haven't given up on you, so you can't give up on yourself." 

"I can, and I have. I don't intend to take the new medicine, Tamaki... I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's my choice. I can't fight this anymore." He whispered and slowly moved away from Tamaki as he opened his eyes. "I am not ready to die. I don't want to leave you, I don't want you to have to bury me, but I don't know what else to do. I can't live years like this." Kyoya told him almost inaudibly and slowly sat up without help, holding the oxygen mask to his face to catch his breath again. 

"If the new medicine works, you won't have to live like this for years, you'll be able to live mostly healthy. I'm not going to let you die without a fight, Kyoya. I almost lost you once and I refuse to do so again." Tamaki said and sat up as well, putting a hand on his lower back. "Please at least try the medicine for a month. If nothing increases, I will not protest you stopping it." 

After a moment, Kyoya slowly nodded and put the mask down. "Alright. I'll try it for a month." 

"Thank you." Tamaki whispered and kissed his cheek gently. 

He nodded slightly and rested his head on Tamaki shoulder. "Why are you so determined to keep me healthy?" 

"Because I love you and I don't like seeing you so sick." Tamaki said and rolled his eyes slightly. "I think that would be fairly obvious." 

"That part is. I mostly meant, why do you love me? You could find someone far better than me, yet you still chose me. You could have almost any person in the school, but you want me. I'm dying, but you haven't left me. You even let me stay in your house. Why?" Kyoya asked quietly and looked at him. 

"I don't know how to answer that. There's no specific reason that I love you, Kyoya, I just do. I can not imagine being with anyone but you. Ever since I met you, you have been the last thing I think of at night and the first thing I think of in the morning. I love you so much and I would do anything for you, no matter what. You are the love of my life; I am never ever going to leave you." He told him seriously, but softly kissed his forehead. 

Kyoya nodded slightly. "I love you just as much, Tamaki. There has been no other person in my life that I would do anything for... Part me thinks you're the only reason I'm still alive. Without you, I think I never would have woken up from the coma. You're my reason for living." He whispered and took his hand tightly, feeling the need to open up to him as he was still scared that he was going to die soon. He was worried that he was going to die without Tamaki knowing exactly how he felt for him. He had always had trouble opening up to anyone, even Tamaki, and just the small confession made him feel slightly nauseous and vulnerable. He knew Tamaki would never use anything he told him to hurt him, but that didn't lessen his fear. 

"Kyoya..." Tamaki started to speak but Kyoya cut him off. 

"Don't say anything, please. Just know that everything I say is sincere." Kyoya whispered and moved to hug Tamaki, almost sitting in his lap as he wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder, obviously scared. He lifted the oxygen mask to its proper place as Tamaki wrapped his arms around him, staying quiet for once in his life. 

Kyoya felt himself relax as Tamaki held him and he tightened his arms around the blonde. Tamaki knew something was wrong so he stayed silent and gently played with his hair, raising the bed before leaning back and he kept his arms tightly around Kyoya. 

He clung to Tamaki to keep himself relaxed and, with the blonde stroking his hair, he soon fell asleep in his arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this story a year ago today. I can't believe it's come this far and I would just like to say thank you to everyone who has ever taken in interest in my story. Thank you all very, very much and I hope everyone continues to enjoy the story!

A few days later Kyoya was able to leave the hospital but he was forced to take a breathing treatment machine home as he needed a treatment about every fours hours to keep his airway open. About a week after his discharge from the hospital, the symptoms from the pneumonia disappeared completely and he was able to get out of bed and walk around for the first time in weeks. He still wasn't able to go back to school though. 

He stayed good on his promise to Tamaki and he started to take the new medication. To his surprise, the longer he took it the better he felt. After a month on it, he went back to the hospital for blood tests and they showed that the medicine was working. His CD4 count was over four hundred again and the amount of virus was under ten thousand and five hundred. Tamaki had insisted on Kyoya showing him a paper copy of his blood test results after last time when he didn't tell him how sick he was. Tamaki was extremely happy that he was getting better and Kyoya was just glad he didn't say I told you so when the results came back. 

After a couple more weeks, Kyoya went back to school. As did Tamaki as he had taken time off of school to spend it with Kyoya and take care of him. Kyoya felt terrible as Tamaki was missing out on so much because of him. He didn't want Tamaki to have to take care of him, but the blonde ignored every single one of his protests and stayed at his side no matter what. 

When he went back to school, he was amazed to find out that he was still head of class and the class representative. He buried his nose into his studies and he grew distant from Tamaki. He constantly ignored Tamaki's attempts to get him to do something other than school work. Tamaki tried to talk him into going on dates with him and the few times Tamaki tried to kiss him, he would turn his head away. He even tried opening the host club for a few days as he wanted Kyoya to get jealous and acknowledge his existence again. His plan failed immensely so he shut the host club back down, to the disappointment of every girl in the school. Tamaki eventually stopped trying. 

Kyoya grew more and more distant, but he never pulled away from Tamaki at night when he would insist on holding him while they slept, he even clung to him at night. During the day however, he barely spoke to him. Tamaki knew something was wrong with him, but every time he tried to address it, Kyoya would just brush him off or ignore him completely. 

By the time October rolled around, Kyoya said maybe three words to him a day. Good morning and goodnight. Nothing hurt Tamaki more than Kyoya ignoring him and soon Kyoya started to see how much he was hurting him. It was October eighth when Kyoya finally started to acknowledge him again. 

Kyoya skipped school that day as he came up with a plan to try to make it up to Tamaki. He had come up with something he considered to be fairly romantic and special for Tamaki. He hand wrote a letter to Tamaki telling him when a car would meet him at his house because there was a surprise waiting for him and he laid it on his bed along with the suit that was Kyoya's personal favorite. A lavender rose lied atop the letter. He also packed a bag of Tamaki's clothes and took them with him, wanting everything to be a complete surprise. Kyoya was careful to make sure that he was out of the house when Tamaki got home. 

After he left Tamaki's, he went to his own house and got his favorite suit. He had to ask his mother to go in his room and get as he still wasn't able to go further into the house than the entrance hall.. Once he got the suit, he went to meet Tamaki. 

He made sure he arrived at the hotel early and he changed into his suit before rushing to the place where he intended to meet Tamaki, the covered rooftop garden. He had told the driver to make sure Tamaki arrived at the hotel at seven and he made it to the rooftop with thirty minutes to spare, if Tamaki had agreed to come that is. 

Kyoya had paid the hotel staff to set up a table for two on the rooftop and in the half hour he was there early, he had managed to light the two candles and he made sure their food was perfect (it was or else he would have sent it back to the kitchens). The table was set up in a partial circle of red rose bushes with a snowdrift clematis climbing the wall behind the table; there was even flowers hanging from the ceiling. There was a opening in the circle about seven feet tall and four feet wide, kept open by an arch climbed by honeysuckle that was white near the leaves but transformed into a deep red by the tips of the petals. Their spot was in the back corner of the garden so Kyoya asked one of the girls that worked at the hotel to lay out a trail of rose petals from the door back to their table. He had also paid the hotel extra to keep the garden closed to everyone except them for a couple of hours. 

He straightened the place settings just to have something to do with his hands as church bells started to chime as it was seven and he jumped slightly at the sudden noise. He quickly stood up straight and adjusted his suit, grabbing the white rose he had set on the table before turning to face the entrance. 

Downstairs, Tamaki walked into the hotel as he heard the church bells. He had arrived at seven just like the note from Kyoya had said, the note which was tucked safely into his breast pocket. Tamaki looked around the gorgeous hotel, surprised that Kyoya would go through so much trouble just to please him. His heart warmed at the thought though. Kyoya had gone through all the trouble for him, voluntarily. He smiled to himself as he was drawn out of the thoughts by a man's voice. 

"Are you Tamaki Suoh by any chance, sir?" He asked, smiling pleasantly at the blonde. He was obviously a bellhop. 

Tamaki nodded. "Yes, I am." 

"Excellent. I was asked by Kyoya Ootori to tell you to take the elevator all the way to the top floor then to climb the stairs to the rooftop garden. He said it would be obvious what to do once you reached the garden." The man told him, still smiling. "I hope you have a nice evening, sir." 

"Thank you very much." Tamaki smiled slightly and the bellhop bowed to him before walking away. 

Tamaki started to make his way through the lobby towards the elevators before suddenly stopping halfway there. He couldn't do this, he was mad at Kyoya. Though Kyoya was obviously trying to apologize for how he was behaving. He couldn't accept his apology so willingly and just go running to him like he wanted to do, he had to make him wait for at least a little while. Kyoya had to know how upset he was and that was the only way he could think of to do it. 

He walked over to the nearest armchair and slowly lowered himself into it. Glancing over at the nearest clock, he saw that it was already almost ten after seven so he told himself that he would wait about ten more minutes before going to the elevators. He put his hands in his lap to keep them from shaking and he looked around to distract himself for the ten minutes he made himself wait. 

He admired the grandeur of the lobby, it was magnificent. It didn't surprise him that Kyoya had gotten the best, he would never settle for anything less and Tamaki knew that. 

From where he was sitting, he could see almost everything in the lobby. All the furniture was perfectly coordinated in a black and white scheme with the occasional blue light to highlight the room. Above him was a large crystal chandelier and to his left was a grand staircase with red carpeting that matched that of the lobby. Everything was extremely elegant with a modern twist. Even the people that walked into the hotel gave off the same vibe. Tamaki could easily see why Kyoya had chosen that hotel in particular. 

Tamaki found himself constantly glancing at the clock as he looked around the lobby, trying to will the hands to move faster. His foot tapped the ground impatiently and not even ten minutes had past when he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and hurried toward the elevators, pressing the button to call the elevator. He bounced up and down slightly as he waited for it to come. As soon as he heard the ding of the elevator arriving, he was right outside the doors to get in. He was lucky that the elevator was empty as he bounded in as soon as the doors were open without waiting to check for other people. He pressed the button to the twenty first floor before starting to bounce again as he waited for the doors to close and the elevator to move. He was glad when no one else got in and the doors closed and the elevator started going up. 

Meanwhile, Kyoya sat at the table with his head in his hands, no longer holding the rose he had gotten for Tamaki. The blonde was almost twenty minutes late and Kyoya had just about given up hope. He had screwed up and this time Tamaki wouldn't be able to forgive him. He wasn't mad at Tamaki though, he was only angry at himself for pushing him away like he did for months. He absolutely loathed himself for how stupid he was. Tamaki was the only person to ever care about him and he pushed him away. He thought of his own feelings and fear over Tamaki's and now he had lost the only person he had ever given a damn about. 

Kyoya was gripping his hair, leaning over the table almost in tears when he heard footsteps approaching. His head snapped up and he was about to yell at whomever it was to go away when he saw Tamaki. 

His eyes widened and he immediately stood up. "You came." He said quietly and looked over at him. 

Tamaki nodded slightly and he could easily tell that Kyoya had almost been crying and a wave of regret crashed over him for making him wait. "Of course I did." He told him, still standing in the entrance. 

"I, ah..." Kyoya tried to say something, but he had no idea what to say; for once in his life he was tongue-tied. He glanced behind him at the table and quickly grabbed the rose. "This is for you." He held it out to him. 

Tamaki just looked at him for a second before suddenly rushing over to him, pulling Kyoya tightly into his arms. "I don't want a rose," Tamaki whispered in his ear, "I just want you." 

The rose fell out of Kyoya's hand and silently hit the ground as he wrapped his arms around Tamaki's waist, burying his face in the crook of his neck. "I am sorry, Tamaki. I am so, so, sorry." He apologized quietly and clung to the back of his jacket. "I know an apology can't make up for what I did. Not even a exquisite weekend in an expensive hotel can, but I hope they prove to you just how much I regret my actions. I never ever meant to hurt you, Tamaki. I am so sorry." 

"I know, Kyoya. I know." Tamaki whispered and held onto him tighter, gently kissing the side of his head. "I forgive you. I just have one question. Why? Why did you pull away from me just as you started to get better?" 

Kyoya swallowed hard before answering his question. "I thought it would hurt you less if I pulled away now than it would if you still love me when I die." 

Tamaki sighed quietly, "Kyoya, when are you going to understand that I am never going to stop loving you no matter what you do? I don't want to stop loving you no matter how much it's going to hurt later. I have excepted that I'm going to lose you, but I am not going to lose you any sooner than I have to, so stop. Stop trying to pull away from me, Kyoya, because I am never going to let you." Tamaki told him softly and pulled away slightly to look at him. "I love you, Kyoya." 

"I love you too, Tamaki." He whispered and looked at him, not realizing he was crying until he felt Tamaki cup his face and run his thumbs across his cheeks. "I was such an idiot. I didn't realize it until I had almost lost you... I didn't think you were going to come." 

"I wasn't going to miss this. I'm sorry I made you wait." Tamaki apologized softly and kissed his forehead gently. "Everything is beautiful, Kyoya. I can't believe you did this for me." 

Kyoya smiled slightly at him. "I'm glad you like it. I hoped you would." He said and slowly pulled away from him, quickly wiped his eyes. "I did it for two reason, you know." He told him and Tamaki looked at him in confusion so Kyoya clarified. "It's your half birthday. Since I was sick on your actual birthday, I wanted to do something now. That's why I did something tonight instead of tomorrow night as I had originally planned." 

"This is the best birthday present I could ask for. I don't even care that it's six months late." He said and smiled widely before suddenly asking, "Can I kiss you? Like actually kiss you instead of the little, brief kisses?" 

Kyoya immediately nodded and Tamaki wasted no time in moving close to him, putting his hands on either side of his neck and connecting their lips in a deep kiss. He had longed to actually kiss Kyoya for so long, but he had never gotten the courage to ask before. He knew he had made the right choice in asking when he felt Kyoya grab his waist and kiss him back. 

Kyoya smiled slightly when Tamaki kissed him and he gently pulled him closer, kissing him deeply but lovingly. Before that moment, he had no idea how much he wanted to kiss Tamaki but once they were kissing, he realized he never wanted to stop. He felt Tamaki deepen the kiss and he tilted his head slightly, one of his hands moving from his waist to run his hand through his hair. He slowly closed his eyes as he pressed closer to Tamaki, who wrapped his arms tightly around Kyoya's waist. 

The longer they kissed, the deeper the kiss got and they became less hesitant. When Tamaki was positive that the kiss didn't bother Kyoya at all, he bit softly on his bottom lip, drawing a soft moan from him. He couldn't help but smirk slightly when he made him moan and he slid his hands up his back before tugging Kyoya as close as possible to him. He deepened the kiss further, starting to kiss him slightly passionately. Kyoya ran his fingers slowly through his hair, his other hand grabbing Tamaki's tie and using it to keep him as close as possible. Tamaki sucked softly on his bottom lip and Kyoya moaned again, slightly louder than before, as he tightened his grip on Tamaki's tie. His smirk widened and Kyoya bit his lip slightly harshly to tell him to knock it off. Kyoya kissed him him with slightly more force and ran his tongue over his lips, taking control of the kiss from Tamaki. 

Tamaki let him easily take control and he stopped smirking as the feeling of Kyoya licking his lips managed to elicit a small moan from him. It was Kyoya's turn to smirk and he bit down on his bottom lip softly as he tugged on his tie slightly, wanting him closer though it was impossible. A few seconds later, Kyoya was forced to break the kiss to catch his breath. 

Both of them were out of breath and Tamaki rested his forehead against Kyoya's, smiling softly. Kyoya let go of his tie and wrapped his arms loosely around his neck, moving as close to him as possible. He smiled softly as felt Tamaki lightly massaging his lower back with the tips of his fingers and he sighed happily. He regretted not letting Tamaki kiss him much sooner as the blonde was extremely good at it. 

"I love you." Tamaki whispered as he caught his breath. 

"I love you too." He whispered back and slowly opened his eyes. "I should have let you do that sooner." He told him softly and his smile widened until Tamaki's eyes opened then he let it fall to a miniscule curl of his lips. 

Tamaki laughed softly and he tightened his arms around him. "Well, now that I know you like it that much, I may do it more often." 

"I am definitely okay with that." He said quietly and he rested his head on his shoulder, slowly closing his eyes again. 

Tamaki held him tightly and leaned his head against Kyoya's. "It is very beautiful up here." He said as he looked around at the flowers surrounding them. "I can't believe you did this for me, Kyoya." 

He smiled softly before replying, "I don't see why you're so surprised. I would do anything to please you, after all. It was slightly difficult though... I didn't know how to be romantic so I called Haruhi." He admitted quietly, slightly embarrassed that he couldn't be romantic on his own. "I mean, I had an idea, I just needed to know if it was a good idea and if it was perfect enough for you." 

"Anything you do is perfect to me." Tamaki said softly. "You really didn't have to but this much effort into a night for me." 

"Yes I did. I had to show you how much you mean to me after how I treated you. I wasn't going to just do something mediocre." He told him and opened his eyes, glancing at Tamaki before slowly pulling away. "The food is probably cold by now." He said suddenly to change the subject, not wanting to talk about what he did. 

"So are you." Tamaki told him, reluctantly letting him out of him arms. "How long have you been up here?" 

Kyoya looked down at his watch before answering, "Almost an hour." 

"You should have worn something warmer. You know it gets cold once the sun goes down. We should go inside." Tamaki told him, not wanting him to get sick again. 

"I can get a little cold without getting sick, Tamaki, but if it makes you feel better we can go inside." He said and rolled his eyes slightly. "I got us a room for the weekend. I figured we could use a little break from the ordinary." He pulled out a key card, handing it to Tamaki. "Room 2002." 

"I don't have clothes or anything with me. Your letter didn't say to bring anything..." Tamaki said and looked at him. 

Kyoya laughed slightly and rolled his eyes. "I packed your clothes and toiletries, don't worry." 

"Oh, okay." He smiled widely. "Let's go." Tamaki took his hand tightly, not waiting for him to agree before he started leading him towards the roof exit. 

Kyoya smiled fondly and he held his hand tightly. letting the blonde lead him off of the roof then down a flight of stairs to the twentieth floor. He walked behind Tamaki and kept a tight hold on his hand even as they arrived at the room. Tamaki opened the door, moving out of the way slightly so that Kyoya could enter first. 

He went in the room and pulled Tamaki in behind him before turning on the light. "Do you like it?" He asked, turning slightly to look at him. "I asked for the best available room." 

Tamaki nodded, not speaking yet. 

The room was gorgeous. The first thing Tamaki's eyes were drawn to was the large window and the view of the city. There was a window seat on the sill that matched the bed. The bed was king sized with a white duvet and a black blanket folded at the foot of the bed and black pillows. The headboard was black as well. There was a black bench at the foot of the bed and across the room was a large flat screen TV on a dark wooden stand. The walls were a light grey, making the room seem even larger than it already was. 

"It is beautiful." Tamaki said after he had time to take in the room and he looked over at Kyoya. "You really did get the best. I can't imagine anything better than this." He smiled widely at him, not talking about just the room. 

Kyoya smiled slightly. "I am glad you think so. I would hate to have done all of this only for you to dislike it." 

"I highly doubt you could anything for me that I would dislike. You honestly could have just waited for me at home then taken me to a fast food restaurant." Tamaki said and walked into the room, walking over to the window seat. 

"Neither of us eat fast food. I am especially not eating something that is made in a place with such low hygiene standards and something that is made for commoners." Kyoya said and walked over to sit at the window next to him. 

Tamaki laughed softly and moved so that he was laying across the seat with his head on the small pillows behind him. "That's true." He said and extended his arms to invite Kyoya into his embrace. 

Kyoya rolled his eyes fondly and sat between his legs, leaning against his chest and nuzzling his head under his chin. "You are such an idiot sometimes." He whispered and sighed contently when he felt Tamaki wrap his arms around him. 

"I love you too." Tamaki laughed softly and kissed the top of his head. "This is perfect, Kyoya. You really outdid yourself this time. I would love to stay right here forever." He smiled and gently took Kyoya's hand in his, lacing their fingers. 

"As would I. It's just so peaceful. Laying here with you, makes it seem like nothing will ever go wrong again." Kyoya whispered though he knew that was just an impossible dream. 

Tamaki nodded slightly and looked down at Kyoya, gazing lovingly at him. He used his free hand to gently tilt his head up and he kissed Kyoya softly. Kyoya smiled slightly as he gently kissed him back, his free hand holding the back of his neck. 

They kissed until they both were out of breath and Tamaki was forced to break it. Kyoya refused to stop kissing him though. He kissed softly over Tamaki's jawline then down the front of his neck, breathing slightly heavily from their kiss. Once Tamaki caught his breath, he cupped Kyoya's face and lifted his head, kissing him again. 

After a moment, he broke the kiss and looked at him questioningly, unsure how far Kyoya intended to go as his hand had slipped under Tamaki's shirt. Kyoya nodded slightly, revealing his intentions to Tamaki and he kissed the blonde deeply, wrapping his arms around his neck.


	18. Chapter 18

Kyoya woke in the mid-morning, the sun pouring in from the open window as both of them were too preoccupied to close the blinds the previous night. He slowly opened his eyes and he looked up at Tamaki, who he was still curled up against. He smiled slightly, gazing up at the blonde as he continued to sleep with a small smile on his face. As he lied there with him, he felt perfectly content and safe even though Tamaki was sound asleep. 

He rested his head against Tamaki's chest, listening to his heartbeat as he closed his eyes again. He tried to go back to sleep, unable to with the sun in his face so he turned to lay on his side, his back to Tamaki and the window. With the sun out of his face again, started to fall back asleep. As he fell asleep, he heard Tamaki shift behind him and he felt his arm around his waist. He smiled softly as he felt Tamaki press against him and he finally fell back to sleep. 

Kyoya woke again in the early afternoon to the sound of the hotel door shutting. He reluctantly opened his eyes as Tamaki came into his line of sight, grinning, with a covered tray in his hands. Tamaki set the tray down as he looked over at Kyoya, his grin widening. 

He went over to the bed and leaned down, kissing his lips softly for a moment. "Good morning, love." He said happily and sat down on the bed next to him, running his fingers affectionately through his hair. 

"I think the correct term is good afternoon." Kyoya said and smiled slightly up at him. 

"I don't care what the correct term is." Tamaki said, still smiling. "I ordered food as we never got a chance to eat anything last night and I'm really hungry. I know it's not morning, but I got us breakfast as I wanted waffles." 

Kyoya laughed softly and smiled fondly up at him. "I'm not hungry, but I'll sit with you while you eat." He told him and sat up. 

"You have to eat a little bit, please. I noticed last night that you've lost weight again. Just eat half of a waffle, for me?" He asked and took his hand gently, running his thumb over the back of his hand. 

After a moment, Kyoya nodded slightly. "Alright, sure, I'll try. I have almost no appetite ever since I started the new medication a few months ago and whenever I force myself to eat, I get nauseous." He said and got up, putting on a pair of pajama pants. "I end up taking something so that I don't throw up." 

"There has to be something better that you can do." Tamaki said seriously and looked over at him. 

"Unfortunately there isn't. I need the Stribild to keep the HIV slightly under control and it has odd side effects, but there's nothing better that I can take. I would rather be nauseous than in the hospital because my immune system has deteriorated." Kyoya said and sighed softly. "I would prefer if nothing was wrong, but I will pick nausea over almost everything thing else." 

Tamaki nodded slightly, understanding his reasons. "Does it help when you take something for the nausea?" Tamaki asked and stood up from his seat on the bed, walking over to sit at the table where he had set the tray of waffles. 

"Ninety percent of the time it does." Kyoya answered and rummaged through one of the bags he brought until he found their medications. Once he had found them, he walked over and sat at the table with Tamaki. 

"And the other ten percent of the time?" He asked and looked at him, glancing down at the bag of medication. 

"I throw up." He told him and opened the bag. He pulled out all of his medications then Tamaki's, handing the one bottle to him. "Don't forget to take this." Kyoya said, even more worried that he's going to get Tamaki sick after the previous night. 

"I never do." Tamaki said and smiled reassuringly at him as he took the bottle. He took a pill out and swallowed it with a drink of water before handing the bottle back to Kyoya. "Are you sure there's absolutely nothing else you can do about it?" 

Kyoya nodded. "Yes, I'm positive. So is my doctor." He answered as he took his pills out of the bottles before putting the bottles away. 

Tamaki sighed quietly but nodded. He looked at all the medication Kyoya was still taking and he frowned slightly. "Weren't you supposed to decrease the amount of medicine you have to take?" 

"Well, yes..." Kyoya said quietly and looked down, not meeting Tamaki's gaze. 

"Then why haven't you?" Tamaki asked, his frown deepening. 

"Because I still need everything I take." He said and looked at the pills in front of him. 

"What all is there?" He asked and gestured to the pills slightly. 

Kyoya swallowed hard before answering. "Stribild, Zofran, Prozac, a couple vitamins, and Morphine." 

"Are you still in pain?" Tamaki asked, his voice more worried than upset. When Kyoya shook his head, he became upset again. "Then why are you still taking Morphine?" He asked seriously and Kyoya didn't answer, giving Tamaki a moment to figure it out for himself. Tamaki thought about it for a moment before he realized why Kyoya was still taking it. "You're addicted to it, aren't you?" 

Kyoya nodded and put his face in his hands. "I've tried to get off of it several times, but everytime I go into withdrawal, and I can't handle it. That's why I keep taking it." 

"But you were supposed to be off of it in June. How do you keep getting it?" Tamaki questioned and looked at him. "You aren't getting off of the street are you?" 

"No. I'm not stupid. I wouldn't get if off of the street because then I wouldn't know where it came from or if it's even the right medication. I told the doctor that I'm still in pain and he believed me so he kept me on it." Kyoya sighed and got the bottle out of the bag, handing it to Tamaki. "See? It's mine." 

Tamaki looked at the bottle and nodded, but he didn't give it back to Kyoya yet. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you get off of it." 

"I didn't want to bother you. I don't mind being on it..." He said quietly and he shrugged slightly. "It's really not that big of a deal." 

"Yes it is! The longer you're on something, the harder it is to get off of it." Tamaki insisted and looked at him. "Let me help you get off of it." 

He immediately shook his head. "No. I refuse to go through withdrawal if I don't have to." 

"Kyoya," Tamaki started but he was cut off. 

"You don't know what it feels like, so don't even think about telling me that I can get through it. I have tried to quit four times, but I can't do it, Tamaki. Every time I try, I can't sleep, everything hurts, I throw up, my entire body trembles, and I am either sweating or freezing. I am not going to try it again." Kyoya said seriously and looked at him. "I'm not stopping it. Now, give me back the bottle." 

Tamaki sighed and slowly shook his head. "No." 

"What do you mean, no?" He asked angrily. 

"I mean that I'm not going to give it back to you. I'm going to get you off of it without sending you into withdrawal." Tamaki said and put the bottle into the pocket of his pajama pants, his other hand reaching out and grabbing the small white pill already on the table. 

Kyoya shook his head and he looked more terrified than mad. "Please, Tamaki. I can't do it. As soon as I stop taking it, I'll go into withdrawal." 

"That's why you're not going to stop taking it immediately. I'm going to wean you off of it, because, knowing you, you just tried to stop immediately thinking you could handle it with ease. I'm not going to let you just stop taking it. I'll also call your doctor." Tamaki said and smiled slightly at him. "How many do you take a day?" 

"Six." 

"Okay, so, for the next three days you'll take five, then the three days after that you'll take four, then three, and so on until you can take none." Tamaki said and reached across the table, gently taking his hand. "Trust me, Kyoya, I won't let you go through serious withdrawal." 

Kyoya shook his head slightly. "I've been on it since March, I can no longer avoid withdrawal." 

"I know that, but that doesn't mean we can't lessen the effects." Tamaki said quietly and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

"Alright, fine, but can we start tomorrow as we'll be at home?" He asked softly and Tamaki nodded. "Good, because I don't think I could do it today anyway." Kyoya said, feeling his hands already trembling. "I haven't taken anything since yesterday morning." He told Tamaki because he knew he could feel him trembling as Tamaki's grip on his hand had tightened. 

"Don't take anything and let me help you through this. We can go home right now and just get it over with quickly as possible." Tamaki said and took both his hands tightly, frowning slightly at how badly Kyoya was already shaking. 

Kyoya shook his head. "I can't... I can't not take anything today." 

"You can. I'll take you to the hospital. You can't live dependent on Morphine." Tamaki said and stood up, walking the few feet to Kyoya before helping him to his feet. 

"No, just let me take something. I don't need to go to the hospital." Kyoya mumbled and tried to push Tamaki away, but the blonde was much stronger. 

Tamaki sighed and looked down at him. "Yes you do. I was going to let you try to wean off of the medication at home with your doctor over the phone, but now that you're already going into full withdrawal, I'm taking you to the hospital." Tamaki said and made him sit down on the bed, far away from any of the medications he already had sitting on the table. He went into the closest bag Kyoya had packed and pulled out one of his own t-shirts. He walked in front of him and helped him put on the shirt, which hung off of his small frame. 

Once he had the shirt on, Kyoya laid down on the bed, curling up into a ball and trembling slightly. Tamaki leaned down and kissed his temple slightly before pulling grabbing his cellphone out of his pants from the previous night and calling for a driver. The driver was going to be there in five minutes to take them to the nearest hospital. 

Tamaki quickly put on a shirt then grabbed the bag that held Kyoya's necessary medication, slinging it over his shoulder before helping him up and off of the bed. He was almost carrying Kyoya, who was freezing to the touch but sweating. 

He put his cell phone in his pocket and grabbed a key to the room before slowly leading Kyoya towards the door. When Kyoya could barely walk, Tamaki just stopped and picked him up with ease, carrying him bridal style out of the room and towards the elevators. He knew that the stairs may be quicker but he also knew Kyoya couldn't walk down the stairs and he couldn't carry him all the way down. 

"The perks of being emaciated," Kyoya mumbled as he rested his head on Tamaki's shoulder, "is that you can carry me this easily." 

Tamaki frowned and didn't say anything as the elevator doors opened. He quickly stepped into the elevator, briefly holding Kyoya with one arm as he pressed the button for the first floor then the one for the doors to close. He held him tightly as he trembled in his arms, not setting him down even as the elevator doors opened. Tamaki ignored his weak protests as he carried him quickly through the lobby, also ignoring the looks they got from other people. He was slightly surprised no one tried to stop him and ask what was going on as Kyoya was obviously ill. 

He went outside just as the car he called for pulled up in front of the hotel. Tamaki went up to the car as the driver got out, opening the backseat door for him. He gently lowered Kyoya into the car and buckled him in before closing the door. He quickly went to the other side of the car as the driver got into the front seat. As soon as Tamaki was buckled in, the driver took off towards the nearest hospital. 

Kyoya slumped against the door, trembling and breathing in quick, short gasps out his nose. Tamaki reached over and grasped his hand tightly, Kyoya held on desperately. 

After a little over five minutes, they arrived at the hospital. The driver stopped in front of the emergency room and as soon as the car stopped, Tamaki got out and ran to Kyoya's side of the car. He opened the door and unbuckled him before gently lifting him out of the car. He carried him quickly into the hospital, surprisingly calm. 

A nurse rushed over to them almost as soon as they were in the door. "Please help us. He went into Morphine withdrawal a little over ten minutes ago and I didn't know what to do, so I brought him here as soon as possible." Tamaki said and the nurse immediately called for help. "He has HIV." 

Another two nurses came towards them, pushing a gurney. Tamaki gently set him down on it before quickly moving out of the way as the nurse took him to the nearest empty room. Tamaki immediately followed as he pulled out his phone, calling his father to tell him what happened and ask him to check out of the hotel room for them and get their things. His father agreed to do it for him and he told him that he would call back later to check on them. 

By the time Tamaki was off of the phone with his father, a doctor had shown up and started an IV of Clonidine to reduce the withdrawal symptoms. Kyoya also had a nasal cannula in and he was hooked up to a heart monitor. When Tamaki got off the phone, the doctor came over and told him that there was nothing else to do except keep a close eye on him and wait until the withdrawal process was over. He also asked him a few questions about how long he was on the medication, why he was taking it in the first place and where he got it. Tamaki answered his questions and then the doctor left, leaving him and Kyoya alone. 

He walked over to the bed and pulled a chair close to it, sitting down and taking Kyoya's hand. Kyoya was still trembling and he was freezing to the touch, he looked much more relaxed though thanks to the medication and his eyes were shut. Tamaki thought he was asleep until he spoke. 

"You're going to get used to me like this..." Kyoya whispered and opened his eyes. "I bet you'll eventually get so used to me lying in a hospital bed, broken and hooked to machines, that you will forget what I looked like out of one. You'll forget what I looked like last night... You'll forget what it looked like when I smiled at you..." He whispered and looked blankly up at the ceiling. "I don't want you to forget the real me." He muttered and finally looked over at him. 

"There is no way that I am going to forget you, any of you. I will always remember last night and every time you've smiled at me. I'll remember every little detail about you, Kyoya." Tamaki whispered and leaned down, gently kissing his forehead. "That's enough talking for now. You look exhausted. You should get some rest." 

Kyoya nodded slightly, not arguing as the Clonidine made him want to sleep very badly. "Will you be here when I wake?" He asked quietly. 

"Always." Tamaki whispered and ran his free hand gently through his hair. 

Kyoya smiled slightly at his words before closing his eyes. Within a couple minutes, his breathing was completely even and he was sound asleep. 

Tamaki stayed at his side the entire time he was asleep. He sat with him, watching as he trembled in his sleep and feeling as his temperature randomly changed. One moment he was freezing and the next he was burning up. Tamaki made sure he was comfortable no matter what temperature he was at. Several times, Kyoya suddenly woke up in a panic but once Tamaki reassured him that he was there, he easily went back to sleep. He also watched to make sure his blood pressure didn't get below 80/60. 

Tamaki sat at his bedside, watching over him until he was awake, keeping his word that he would always be there when Kyoya woke up.


	19. Chapter 19

Kyoya woke over twelve hours later and he immediately looked for Tamaki. The blonde had his head resting on hospital bed next and he was holding Kyoya's hand, sleeping deeply. A small smile crossed Kyoya's face as he lifted a trembling hand to run his fingers slowly through Tamaki's hair, gazing down at him. He was slightly surprised that Tamaki had kept his promise, but he knew he shouldn't have been. Tamaki was always right by his side, whether Kyoya asked or not. 

Even though he hadn't meant to, he woke Tamaki up when he touched his hair. Tamaki's eyes slowly opened and he lifted his head, smiling softly at Kyoya. Kyoya smiled slightly back and he weakly squeezed his hand, getting a gentle squeeze in return from Tamaki. 

"How are you feeling?" Tamaki asked quietly and kissed the back of his hand gently. 

Kyoya shook his head slightly. "Not good... I'm extremely nauseous and it's freezing in here. I can't stop trembling and every part of my body is sore." 

"Good thing the nurse brought in extra blankets." Tamaki stood up and grabbed a couple blankets off one of the other chairs in the room. He unfolded them before gently draping the blankets over him. Once he had put the blankets on him, he sat down again and took his hand. "One of the doctors did say that opiate withdrawal can be very painful. He also said that unfortunately they can't give you anything to lessen the pain other than Ibuprofen." 

Kyoya nodded and moved onto his side, facing Tamaki. "What about the Stribild? Can I take that?" 

"Yes. The doctor said that with how strong your virus is, it would be an extremely bad idea not to take it, no matter how it effects the withdrawal." He said softly and ran his fingers gently through Kyoya's hair, which was slightly damp from how much he had sweated. "I wish there was more I could do than just sit here with you..." Tamaki whispered as he felt how badly Kyoya was trembling. "I hate it when you're in pain and all I can do is sit here and watch." 

"You just being here helps, trust me." Kyoya said quietly and looked up at him, curling into a ball slightly to try to control how badly his tremors were. 

He closed eyes as a particularly bad tremor suddenly racked his body. His breath hitched and it took him a few moments after the tremor stopped to get his breath back before it happened again. He tightened his grip on Tamaki's hand and when it happened a third time, Tamaki got up and sat in the bed with him, holding him tightly. Kyoya curled up against him, mostly sitting in his lap and every time Kyoya trembled, Tamaki held him a little bit tighter. Tremors shook his body seven times before he finally got a break. 

Kyoya was still trembling slightly, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the tremors. He was also sweating again and there were tears in his eyes though he wasn't crying. His fingers weakly wrapped around the fabric of Tamaki's shirt and he clung to him, his entire body aching. He rested his head against his chest and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to stay relaxed so the tremors wouldn't happen again. 

Tamaki held him tightly and kissed the top of his head, reaching up and gently running his fingers through his hair. Kyoya moved as close to him as possible, clinging to him and breathing slightly heavily. 

"You should have just let me take something. I told you that this would happen." Kyoya mumbled and frowned. "I was perfectly content taking the Morphine. It's not like it was a big deal. You overreacted, Tamaki." 

He sighed and shook his head. "No I didn't. It is a big deal, Kyoya. We both know how addictions progress, you would have eventually overdosed. I was not going to let that happen." Tamaki said quietly. "I hate seeing you in pain like this, but it's for the best. This would have happened eventually and it would be a lot worse the longer you were taking the medicine. You needed to be off of it. I gave the bottle I took from you to one of the nurses to dispose of. They also called your doctor and he took you off of it permanently." 

Kyoya frowned slightly but he didn't say anything because he knew Tamaki was right. He grabbed his shirt tightly as he suddenly trembled again, almost in tears from the pain. "I want to go back to sleep..." He said, his voice breaking. 

"Then sleep. Don't force yourself to stay awake." Tamaki whispered and kissed the top of his head. 

He nodded slightly and closed his eyes tightly, clinging to Tamaki. Kyoya laid in Tamaki arms still trembling slightly and whimpering quietly for almost ten minutes before he was finally able to relax enough to fall asleep. 

Kyoya was forced to stay in the hospital until the serious side effects had subsided. It took three days. 

After three days, he was discharged and he was able to go home with Tamaki. His hands still trembled slightly and the nausea didn't completely dissipate, but the doctor said that that was normal after a serious withdrawal. Kyoya didn't care about what was normal, he just wanted to go home, so when the doctor said he could, he was out the door within the hour. 

He couldn't look at Tamaki, he was too embarrassed. He hated himself for ruining their time together again. He had gotten to distracted and let Tamaki see what he was taking when he had a plan to hide it. Nothing went like he had planned and it was all his fault. 

After that weekend, he stopped trying to plan out every little thing step by step. His life was too much of a mess for him to predict everything that could happen. The effort also exhausted him, so it was slightly beneficial for him to stop. Scenarios still ran through his mind but he never planned for them anymore. He only ever planned for bad things to happen as that's what he became used to. Kyoya got so hung up on the terrible scenarios that Tamaki eventually took all the planning upon himself. He planned their dates and everything the school asked Kyoya to do as the class representative and as valedictorian. He allowed Kyoya to help so he didn't go overboard like he often wanted, but that was all Kyoya usually did. Anymore usually exhausted him, so he didn't mind having such little influence. 

In late November, Tamaki started to notice that everything made Kyoya exhausted. He started falling asleep doing his homework after school, but most of the time, he crashed before even starting his work. Most days, the only time Kyoya was able to stay awake was at school and when Tamaki woke him up to eat dinner. Even though he was extremely worried, he was never able to see anything wrong with him other than the constant exhaustion and when he called Kyoya's doctor, he was told not to worry as drowsiness was a common side effect of most of the medications Kyoya took. Tamaki continued to keep a close eye on him though. 

Kyoya began to fall asleep during school in early January. No matter what, he didn't seem able to stay awake and often Tamaki would have to take him home during the middle of the school day so he could sleep. After about two weeks of Kyoya falling asleep almost everywhere they went, Tamaki finally asked him what was going on. He was too worried to let it happen any longer. He talked to him one day after he brought him home from school but before he would let him lay down. 

"There's something that you're not telling me, isn't there?" Tamaki asked and sat down on the edge of their bed as Kyoya took off his school uniform in favor of one of Tamaki's shirts, and a pair of pajama pants. 

Kyoya shook his head slightly, but he didn't say anything and he didn't look at Tamaki. 

"I know when you're lying to me. Tell me what's going on, please." Tamaki said and looked over at him. 

Kyoya turned to face him and he walked towards the bed, sighing softly as he sat down next to Tamaki. "It's flu season." He said as though that would clear everything up. 

Tamaki tilted his head slightly in confusion. "What does that have to do anything?" 

"I'm sick again, because so is everyone else. I'm surprised you didn't ask me sooner. Then again, you sleep too heavily at night when you don't think I'm sick to realize that I don't spend the night in our room." Kyoya told him quietly and sighed. 

"Why didn't you tell me? What's wrong?" Tamaki asked as he took his hand gently. "Where do you stay?" 

"I didn't want you to worry any more than you normally do. I have pneumonia, again." Kyoya replied to the first two questions but he gave no verbal answer to the third question. Instead he slowly stood up and led Tamaki out of the room, gripping his hand tightly. He led him to a guest bedroom on almost the complete other side of the house. He pushed open the door and revealed the room to Tamaki. 

The first thing Tamaki noticed as he walked in, was that the room had the medical smell of a hospital and it was extremely clean. Even the bedding had been replaced. He then noticed the BiPAP machine on the table next to the bed and the emergency inhaler next to it. The final thing Tamaki noticed was all the medication sitting on the desk. There was Kyoya's normal medication, Prozac, Stribild, and Zofran, but then there was more. When Tamaki got closer, he saw two inhalers he didn't recognize, what he assumed was an antibiotic for Kyoya's illness, and extra medicine for the breathing treatment machine as well as a couple over the counter medications. 

"Kyoya, why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked and turned to look at him. "How did you manage to hide all this from me?" 

"You have a life to live, you don't need to spend all your time worried about me. I wanted to take care of this without your help for once. I planned to tell you if you asked though, and before today you didn't ask so I never told you." Kyoya told him and walked into the room, sitting down on the bed. "I wait until you were asleep then I leave our room and come in here to sleep with the BiPAP machine." 

"What about when you fall asleep during the day? You don't come in here then." He said and sat down next to him, extremely worried about him. "How did you manage to get the BiPAP up here. We both know you couldn't have carried it." 

Kyoya leaned against him slightly before answering. "I don't sleep more than five hours at a time during the day, so I can get by with just my inhalers, though I'm not supposed to." He told him and rested his head on his shoulder. "Your father helped. He gave me permission to set up everything in this room and have it completely cleaned." 

"So, everyone knew except me?" Tamaki asked, unable to hide the hurt in his voice. 

"Yes. No one else worries about me like you do so I had no qualms in telling them. You worry too much, Tamaki." Kyoya said and sat up again. "Are you going to let me sleep now that all your questions are answered?" 

Tamaki shook his head and looked at him. "No I'm not, because I'm upset, Kyoya. I care about you and when you're sick, I get worried. You constantly tell me that I worry too much, but I worry about you like a normal person should. This is how someone feels about someone they love. You only think it's weird because the only other person that has ever cared about you enough to even slightly worry is Fuyumi. You need to realize that, Kyoya. I worry about you like your parents and siblings should. You are hiding from me because you aren't used to someone caring and you need to stop. I know it's seems weird, but you have to trust me, Kyoya. When someone loves another, they worry. That has never changed, and for me, it's never going to." He told him seriously as he gently took his hand. 

Kyoya stayed silent for a moment and he didn't look at him. "I know it may be considered normal, but it isn't to me. No one worries about me, because I don't benefit them. It wouldn't matter if I was dead." 

"I worry about you and it's not because I benefit from you. It's because I love you. I have the empathy and compassion for you that your family doesn't so I worry about you. I have been constantly worried about you since I found out about everything with your father. When you hide things from me, my worry goes to complete fear about what might happen to you. You only ever hide the bad things from me and that makes me terrified. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. I want to know when you're sick so I can help you." Tamaki said and looked over at him, turning his body slightly to face him completely. 

"Your worry is not the only reason I conceal the truth from you. I want you to be able to have a life outside of me and my illness." Kyoya said and continued to look away from him. 

Tamaki sighed and gently put his hand on his cheek, turning his head gently so that he faced him. "Ever since I came to Japan, you have been my life. I didn't even start the host club without asking you first because I wanted you by my side. I wasn't going to do it if you said no to joining me. Yes, I have other friends but none of them are as important to me as you are. You are my life, Kyoya, so I'm begging you. Stop pushing me away." 

Kyoya lifted his eyes and stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding. "I'll try. Please know that it has never been my intention to hurt you." He said quietly, knowing that he had once again hurt him although he never actually said it. 

"I know." Tamaki said quietly and gently kissed his forehead. "Are you going to come back to our room? I'll bring everything there for you." 

"If you want me to." He answered and looked at him, yawning quietly. Kyoya was completely exhausted. 

I want you to." He said and smiled at him. "Do you want to just sleep in here now or do you want to go back to our room?" 

"We can go back to our room." Kyoya said and slowly stood up. 

Tamaki nodded and stood as well. He grabbed the BiPAP machine off of the bedside table, which was fairly light for him but too heavy for Kyoya. Kyoya grabbed his three inhalers before shuffling out of the room, stumbling slightly as he was enervated. Tamaki walked behind him, unable to ignore how weak he was again. He was scared as Kyoya always got worse before he got better. He was also very mad at himself for not noticing how sick Kyoya was. Once he knew, he was able to see all the signs. Kyoya could barely breathe after just a little bit of walking and he was very slow. Both were signs that Tamaki knew he should have saw much sooner. 

As soon as they were in their room, Kyoya sat down on the bed and tried to catch his breath without an inhaler. "I haven't been completely honest about other things." He said quietly, breathing heavily. 

"What do you mean?" Tamaki frowned and set the BiPAP machine down on the table on Kyoya's side of the bed, plugging it in for him. 

"Look in my black folder. You'll know as soon as you see it." He told him and moved to lay down, falling asleep almost immediately. 

Tamaki nodded slightly, not saying anything to keep him awake as he knew how badly he needed to sleep. He noticed how Kyoya was barely breathing so he turned on the BiPAP machine and put the mask over his mouth and nose so he could breathe. Once he was sure that Kyoya was breathing okay, he went over to the desk Kyoya usually occupied and searched the drawers until he found the black folder Kyoya was talking about. 

As soon as he opened the folder and saw his medical records, he had a good guess about what Kyoya had been lying to him about and he was tempted to stop there as part of him didn't want to know the truth. Kyoya wouldn't have lied to him if the truth was a good thing. He took the folder and went to sit on the edge of the bed, knowing that he had to look no matter how much he didn't want to. He glanced at Kyoya before pulling out his blood tests from the last six months. 

He looked at the results for August first. They showed that the amount of CD4 cells had been increasing. The number was increasing again in September. In October the number hadn't changed from the previous month. Tamaki started to get nervous when the results didn't change and he was tempted to throw the papers across the room, but instead he looked at November. The numbers in November had started to decrease like he had expected. They went down from a over 550 to under 475. 

Tamaki knew what the rest of the results would say and he didn't want to look. He didn't want to know. If he didn't know the true number, he could still pretend that Kyoya was okay, that he wasn't dying. He felt tears fill his eyes as he skipped December's results and looked at the results from a few days ago. When he saw the numbers on the paper, he really did throw it that time. He put his face in his hands, the black numbers seared into his mind. 

Kyoya's CD4 count was a little under 200 and the copies of the virus was over 50,000. He had AIDS.


	20. Chapter 20

Tamaki didn't know what to do. His throat closed and his chest hurt as tears began to stream down his cheeks. He glanced over his shoulder at Kyoya and the first thing he imagined was him lying in a hospital bed, dying. His tears started to fall heavier and he covered his face with his hands. He tried to stay quiet, not wanting to wake him up. 

He felt absolutely helpless. He had always known that Kyoya was going to get extremely sick, but he never expected it to happen so soon. Tamaki had always guessed that they would have at least a few years together even after he got sick. It never even crossed his mind that Kyoya would get that sick in a year. It wasn't fair. Kyoya didn't deserve to be so sick. 

Tamaki managed to stay extremely quiet, still crying softly as he moved up on the bed to sit next to Kyoya. He leaned against the headboard, gazing down at Kyoya and gently stroking his hair, finally realizing how sickly Kyoya looked. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it sooner. Kyoya was extremely pale, slightly emaciated, and his hair was much thinner than the last time Tamaki had touched it. He felt terrible for not noticing how sick he was until he started to constantly sleep. 

He sat with Kyoya the entire time he slept, unwilling to leave his side. He gently stroked his hair as he watched over him protectively. He wanted to keep Kyoya safe from harm, even though he knew there was nothing he could do short of making him constantly stay at home in a sterilized room. Kyoya would refuse to do that and Tamaki would never make him. He knew how much Kyoya would hate to be stuck in one place for the rest of his life no matter how much it would help; if it would help at all. 

When Kyoya woke up at a quarter past ten, Tamaki was slumped against the headboard, lightly sleeping, and his hand rested on top of Kyoya's over the blankets. As soon as Kyoya tried to shift slightly, he began to wake. He frowned slightly, not wanting a confrontation at the moment but he knew there was no way for him to ignore it. He had gotten out telling Tamaki, so he knew he had to answer all his questions. 

Kyoya sat up slightly as Tamaki was just opening his eyes. He ignored him for a moment as reached over and turned off the BiPAP machine, taking off the mask and putting next to the machine before looking at Tamaki. "So... I guess you know the truth now." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly, gazing sadly at him. 

I only found out myself yesterday. I wasn't ready to tell you. Telling you meant that it was actually happening, that I had to admit to myself that I have AIDS. I didn't want to believe that it was really happening." Kyoya told him truthfully and he sat up completely, leaning against the headboard as he pulled his knees to his chest. "Yesterday when the doctor called during school, I wasn't prepared to tell anyone, even you." 

Tamaki nodded slightly, glad the room was dark so that Kyoya couldn't see the tears that had already formed in eyes. "I can understand that, but why didn't you tell me about your CD4 counts dropping? Wasn't the last medicine working?" He asked softly, reaching over and gently grasping his hand. 

"I didn't want to upset you." He answered and held his hand tightly. "It was at first. When I first started taking it, the doctor became hopeful because I seemed to get better but when nothing changed in October, he knew it had stopped working. I changed medication again after those results. It obviously didn't work. It didn't work through all of October and all of November so he added to the medication I was taking. He tried to make it stronger, but that also failed." Kyoya told him and ran his thumb lightly over the back of Tamaki's hand, mostly to comfort himself. 

"Does he have any idea why none of the medicine worked?" Tamaki asked, Kyoya's light stroking keep them both calm. 

Kyoya nodded slowly. "He said that he believes the virus mutated. It became resistant to all the treatments we tried, and we tried a little bit of everything available. His exact words yesterday were; "There's nothing left that we can do. I'm sorry". That was his nice way of telling me that I'm going to die. He also told me that the virus has mutated like nothing he has ever seen. The virus cells changed every single month. Once we got ahead of them, they would mutate again and just get worse and worse." Kyoya said and rested his his head on Tamaki's shoulder. 

"There's nothing?" Tamaki muttered in disbelief and looked down at him. 

He slowly shook his head and closed his eyes. "Absolutely nothing." He confirmed quietly and sighed. "You know, this has made me think about what could have happened if I wouldn't have waited six months to start any sort of treatment. I most likely wouldn't be this sick yet. I would have more time with you... This is all my fault." 

"Don't say that. None of this is your fault. We both know you couldn't have gone to a doctor when you realized you were sick. He would have found out and who knows what would have happened then. Please don't blame yourself, Kyoya." He said softly and gently kissed the top of his head. "There is only one person to blame." 

"I am just as much at fault as he is. I let my emotions cloud my judgement and I never went to the police. If I would have reported him, I might not be dying of AIDS." Kyoya muttered and moved slightly close to him. 

"If you would have reported him, he would have just killed you then. All this is completely his fault." Tamaki told him seriously. "He was determined to hurt you, Kyoya. No matter what you did, he wasn't going to stop. He even took the lock off of your bedroom door. There was absolutely nothing that you could have done to change anything that happened, so stop. Stop blaming yourself." 

Kyoya didn't say anything but he nodded slightly, knowing that Tamaki was right. He really couldn't have done anything to stop his father. "I still regret getting ill. Just because of how much all of this has hurt you. I really wouldn't mind how the virus has affected me if it didn't hurt you so much... At least it was irrefutable evidence that sent him to jail." He whispered and a heavy sigh escaped his lips. 

"He would have gone to jail whether you got sick or not." Tamaki mumbled and wrapped his arm loosely around his waist. "I would take it all away from you if I could. I hate seeing you sick." He told him softly and he nuzzled his hair gently. 

"I appreciate that, Tamaki, but there is absolutely nothing you can do. How I wish there was..." He whispered and tightened his grip on his hand. "I don't want to die, Tamaki... I am so scared." He said quietly and Tamaki heard his voice break. 

Tamaki sighed sadly and he pulled him closer. "I know. I would do anything to make you better." 

Kyoya broke when he heard the sincerity in Tamaki's voice. He turned and pressed his face against Tamaki's shoulder, clinging to his shirt and sobbing. Tamaki immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Kyoya, feeling the tears that previously laid dormant in his eyes start to fall. 

He held him tightly and ran his fingers gently through his hair. "Shh... It's okay, Kyoya. It's okay." Tamaki whispered although he knew that was a lie. He knew as well as Kyoya did that nothing was okay and it wasn't going to be. 

"No it's not... I'm dying, Tamaki. Nothing is going to be okay ever again." Kyoya mumbled and clung to him, crying heavily. "I don't want to leave you." 

"I know... I know..." He whispered and ran his finger gently through his hair, trying to keep his crying silent. "Don't be scared, my love. I'll do everything I can to make you feel as comfortable as possible. I promise that I'll do anything for you." 

Tamaki's words only made him cry harder and he felt Tamaki tighten his arms around him, crying too heavily to speak. Tamaki started to quietly sing to him in French, trying to soothe him though his voice occasionally broke as he sang. Kyoya cried heavily into his chest, his singing barely calming him at all though it did comfort him slightly. It made the reassurance that Tamaki was there twice as strong. 

Eventually, Tamaki's gentle singing managed to calm him down enough to the point where he could speak again. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Tamaki." He sobbed and clung to him. 

"What are you apologizing for? There is no reason to." Tamaki told him quietly and he gently played with his hair. 

"Yes there is. You feel in love with me and now I'm dying. I have never been as good to you as you have been to me the entire time I've known you and I am so sorry. I will never have a chance to repay you now. You have cared for me so much through the last year and I can never do the same for you. I've failed you, Tamaki, and you are the only person I have ever cared about." Kyoya muttered and looked away, tears still streaming down his face. 

"You have not failed me and there is absolutely no reason for you to even think about repaying me. I never did any of this thinking about you repaying me, it's just what someone does when they love another person. I've cared for you because I love you, not because I wanted to gain something in return." Tamaki told him softly but seriously and he gently kissed his forehead. 

"You have to regret falling in love with me though... You have always wanted someone to spend the rest of your life with and have a family, not someone who's going to die before they turn twenty." Kyoya whispered, silently crying and he rests his head against Tamaki's chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

"I do not regret it at all. I regret absolutely nothing about falling in love with you. The only thing I truly regret is that I didn't tell you sooner like I longed to." Tamaki whispered and gently ran his fingers through his hair. "I have always wanted you. It was never about a family or anything else. You are the love of my life and I have never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted you to love me." 

Kyoya didn't say anything for a moment, thinking. "You always told me that you wanted a family..." 

"I found my family in you and the rest of the host club. You and my friends are the only family I have ever needed. I'm happy, Kyoya." He whispered and lightly kissed his forehead. "Family doesn't always have to be blood related. Family just means you love each other." 

He nodded slightly and didn't speak, nuzzling him gently and closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears completely. Kyoya moved as close to him as possible and he reached out to take his hand gently, lacing their fingers. "I love you, Tamaki." 

"I love you too." He whispered and squeezed his hand gently, holding him tightly with his free hand. 

The two sat in silence for a while and Tamaki thought Kyoya was asleep until he spoke almost inaudibly. "I need you to promise me something." 

"It depends on what it is." Tamaki answered quietly. 

"I'm going to get extremely ill and I am going to be in the hospital for a long time. Promise that no matter what, you won't let them intubate me ever again. It hurts so badly..." He whispered desperately and lifted his head slightly. 

"Kyoya-" 

"I'm begging you, Tamaki. There's going to be a day when I can't make any of my medical decisions, but I want to be able to make this one. I don't want to be intubated, please..." Kyoya said quietly and looked up at him. 

Tamaki slowly nodded, knowing how desperate Kyoya was. "Okay, I promise." He whispered and kissed his forehead gently. 

"Thank you." He whispered mumbled and he closed his eyes, resting his head against his shoulder. 

He nodded slightly and gently ran his fingers through Kyoya's hair before resting his head against his. Tamaki closed his eyes as well, holding him tightly. He started to sing softly again to him. Kyoya listened to tenderness of Tamaki's voice as he sang, finally relaxing completely and he started to fall asleep. He continued to sing softly even after he realized that Kyoya was asleep. 

After holding him for a few minutes more, he got up and gently laid Kyoya down on the bed. He continued to sing quietly as he got up, walking over to Kyoya's side of the bed. He picked up the mask for the BiPAP machine and gently put it over his mouth and nose before turning the machine on. When he was sure Kyoya was breathing properly, he went back to his side of the bed and climbed back in again. Tamaki moved as close to him as possible, lying on his side and gently taking his hand as he couldn't hold him very well. He held his hand tightly, still singing very softly as he closed his eyes. He quietly sang until he fell asleep, his voice fading until he was completely silent when he fell asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Through the month Kyoya's condition didn't get better, but he didn't get much worse either. He continued to go to school and do whatever he wanted when he wasn't tired, despite Tamaki's frequent attempts to get him to stay home. Tamaki kept a constant close eye on him, unable to hide how worried he was; he didn't want anything to happen to happen to him. He rarely let him go out alone, afraid that he would get ill when he wasn't there. 

Kyoya started coughing and having more trouble breathing about half way through the month. He started going to school for partial days again, not having the strength to go the full day. He always insisted that Tamaki stayed at school, so he did. Every time Tamaki came home, he found Kyoya asleep. Usually he was in their room with the BIPAP machine, but a few times he found him in the living room. Whenever he found him downstairs, he would wake him and help him up to their bedroom. Once Tamaki finally asked why he didn't go upstairs, Kyoya told him that sometimes he didn't have the strength to make it up the stairs by himself and he was too embarrassed to ask anyone for help. When Tamaki heard his reasoning, all he could do was nod. He still didn't want to admit to himself how weak Kyoya was though it was obvious. 

No matter how weak he got, Kyoya refused to sit at home and do nothing. He still went to school for half days even though his doctor and Tamaki thought that he should stop going. Kyoya occasionally fell asleep during school and everyone knew better than to wake him, so he slept in class until the bell rang. Yet, he still refused to stay at home. 

When Tamaki came home from school the thirteenth of February, he found Kyoya asleep at his desk, slumped over his homework and a lengthy list of Valentine's Day plans, all of which had been crossed out. Tamaki smiled softly as he saw the effort Kyoya was putting into the holiday, though he already had special plans for them. All he had left to do was find a way to properly tell him. He thought about what to do as he lifted Kyoya from the desk chair, carrying him to the bed and setting him down before turning the BiPAP machine. He placed the mask over his face before going back over to the desk. He organized the pages of Kyoya's homework before looking at the sheet of paper with the crossed out ideas. Tamaki started to read over his ideas, but only a few of them were legible. 

The three he could read were to go to museum then to dinner, take a walk then have dinner, and make a special dinner at home together then go to the theatre. Tamaki thought they were all good ideas and he wasn't sure why Kyoya had crossed them out until he saw a bolded note to the side: _**You are not strong enough to do anything for him. This is your first and last Valentine's Day with him and you can't even make it memorable. It's your fault because you got ill and you're dying**_. Tamaki noticed that there was even more written off to the side but he couldn't bring himself to read it. He knew that nothing was Kyoya's fault but Kyoya obviously still blamed himself and there's was nothing Tamaki could do to change his mind. 

He quickly set the sheet of paper down so he didn't accidentally read anything else before looking over at Kyoya. He longed to make Kyoya feel better, but that was impossible no matter what Tamaki told himself. Tamaki slowly made his way over to bed and he sat down next to him on the bed, running his fingers gently through his hair as he slept. "You're not leaving me... You can't leave me..." Tamaki mumbled as he felt his eyes fill with tears. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Kyoya's forehead as he started crying heavily. 

He couldn't remember the last time he let himself cry after January. Every time that Kyoya would breakdown, he was tempted to cry when he saw how broken he was but he wouldn't allow himself to cry as he always needed to be strong for Kyoya. He was the one dying after all. 

Tamaki pressed his forehead gently against Kyoya's as he cried heavily, trying not to make any noise as he didn't want Kyoya to know that he was crying. Luckily the sound of the BiPAP machine drowned out any noises he accidentally made. 

Tears streamed down his cheeks and he moved slightly to press his face into the pillow to try to hide his crying as he felt that he had no right to cry. He put his hand very lightly over Kyoya's heart, feeling his heartbeat to reassure himself that Kyoya was still with him, at least for now. Whenever he thought of Kyoya dying, he felt a terrible pain in his chest and he just cried harder. 

"I can't lose you. I love you so much, Kyoya." He mumbled to the sleeping boy as he cried heavily. "I don't know what I'll do without you... I know I pretend that it's not a big deal, but I am terrified. I never dreamed that I'd lose you, even when you were only my best friend. You're leaving me and I don't know what to do." Tamaki whispered before dissolving into silent sobs, collapsing completely onto the bed. 

He cried heavily into the pillow until he started to doze off, his crying only stopping when he was completely asleep. 

  


When Tamaki woke up later that night, the first thing he realized was that Kyoya wasn't in the bed next to him. He slowly opened his eyes, which were bloodshot from his previous crying, and he looked around until he spotted Kyoya at the desk, frantically writing on the paper Tamaki had found earlier, the desk light illuminating the dark room. He watched him silently as he scribbled across the page before throwing the pencil down onto the desk and putting his face in his hands. 

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly and he saw Kyoya jump slightly in surprise. 

He shook his head slightly and turned around to look at him. "No," he mumbled and frowned, "I can't think of anything for us to do tomorrow. I wanted to do something special as this is our first," and only, he thought, "Valentine's Day, but I am too frail to give you everything that you deserve. I constantly hate myself because I am weak, but this just makes it worse." Kyoya whispered and looked down at the floor. 

Tamaki immediately got up and went over to him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "Don't worry about this, Kyoya. I know you tried your hardest and no matter what, I wouldn't be upset over something as simple as a holiday." 

Kyoya nodded slightly and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, pressing his cheek against his chest. "You planned my birthday, Christmas, you are even helping me write my valedictorian speech. All because I can't." He mumbled and closed his eyes. "You deserve so much better than what I can give you." 

"Quit saying that, Kyoya. I've gotten so tired of you always putting yourself down just because you're sick. I wouldn't do any of this if I didn't want to, so stop saying that I deserve better. You are the best thing that could have ever happened to me. There is nothing better than you." Tamaki said seriously and held him closely, lightly running his fingers through his hair. 

"Alright, fine." He whispered and tightened his arms around him. "I still want to do something special, though." 

Tamaki smiled and nodded. "As do I. That is exactly why I already made plans for us." 

"What are we doing?" Kyoya asked quietly and he looked up at him. 

"Well, I thought it would be nice to go out for dinner and then go to the planetarium. Since it's too cold to go outside and look at the stars, I figured that we would both enjoy going to the planetarium. You like the science behind it and I like the stars, so it's perfect for us." Tamaki said softly and looked down at him, gently playing with his hair. "Do like the idea?" He asked tentatively. 

Kyoya immediately nodded and smiled softly up at him. "I think that that is a wonderful idea. In fact, it's perfect." 

Tamaki smiled brightly down at him and kissed his lips gently for a moment. "I'm glad. Now, we should probably go back to bed so that we're well rested for tomorrow." 

"Alright." He agreed and got to his feet. "I have been up for the last couple hours, so sleep sounds good." Kyoya said and walked over to the bed, getting in on his side as Tamaki got in as well. 

Tamaki silently held an arm out and Kyoya snuggled into his embrace after turning on the BiPAP machine and putting the mask on. He rested his head against his chest and he almost immediately fell asleep. Tamaki dozed off soon after. 

In the early afternoon when Tamaki woke up, he found that Kyoya was still sound asleep against him. A slight smile crossed his features as he moved Kyoya over gently so that he could get up. Silently, he left the room and went downstairs to make them breakfast; he had given all of his staff the day off so that he and Kyoya would be able to spend the day in only each other's company. 

He made french toast then he carried it back upstairs to their room. Tamaki went quietly into the room, setting the tray of food down on the bedside table before waking up Kyoya for breakfast. It was surprisingly easy to wake him as he was already partially awake from when Tamaki moved him, he just hadn't wanted to be awake yet. Once Tamaki was sure he was awake, he took the mask off of him gently and turned the machine off before going back over to his side of the bed and sitting down. Kyoya reluctantly sat up, moving close to Tamaki and resting his head on his shoulder after the blonde had grabbed the food. 

"Happy Valentine's Day, love," Tamaki said softly and gently kissed the top of his head. 

"Happy Valentine's Day," Kyoya repeated quietly and nuzzled his shoulder gently in response to the kiss. 

Tamaki smiled softly down at him before starting to cut the french toast. They ate together in comfortable silence, Kyoya barely eating anything except the few times he grabbed Tamaki's fork from him. Tamaki wanted to tell him to eat more but he knew that Kyoya was having trouble keeping any food down so he didn't push it. He was glad that Kyoya was at least trying to eat something. 

Kyoya was able to eat four bites of toast before he started to feel nauseated so he stopped trying to eat. He knew that his lack of appetite and trouble keeping food down was just him getting sicker. He wanted to be able to eat more, but he knew better than to push himself or he would end up vomiting. Once he decided that he was finished eating, he simply rested against Tamaki and closed his eyes as he waited for him to finish as well. He started to doze off until he felt Tamaki move to put the tray back on the bedside table and he jerked awake. He heard Tamaki laughed softly as he had jumped slightly and he looked over at him, about to yell at him for laughing but when he saw the bright, loving smile on his face, he just rolled his eyes before smiling slightly. 

"I didn't know you were asleep." Tamaki said, obviously lying and he reached out to gently take Kyoya's hand with a bright grin on his face. 

"Liar." Kyoya said and smiled as he looked down at their hands. 

"Prove it," Tamaki teased and laced their fingers. "You know I would never lie to you." 

Kyoya simply rolled his eyes at him and reached over to grab his glasses, putting them on. 

"I really wish you didn't need glasses. Your eyes are so magnificent." Tamaki said and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hand. "Would you care to join me for a shower and then watch a movie?" He asked and smiled warmly at him. 

"If you insist." Kyoya answered but he smiled slightly at him. 

Tamaki grinned and held his hand tightly as he got out of bed. Kyoya got up with him as he knew Tamaki wasn't going to let go of his hand any time soon. Once Kyoya was on his feet, Tamaki tugged him forward and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Kyoya returned the embrace tightly, kissing Tamaki's temple before resting his head on his shoulder. 

"Is everything alright?" Kyoya asked quietly though he knew what Tamaki was going to say. 

"Yes." He whispered and tightened his arms around Kyoya. 

Kyoya knew this was a lie but he didn't push it as he knew Tamaki wasn't going to tell him, especially if it was something that had to do with his illness. Tamaki still hadn't told him how exactly he felt about knowing that Kyoya was going to die, but Kyoya knew that he was terrified and hurting. 

"I love you," Tamaki mumbled quietly after a moment of silence. 

"I love you too, Tamaki." He whispered and held him close, "I always will." 

He stayed silent and nodded slightly, holding onto him a moment longer before pulling away. He took his hand again and led him to the bathroom. 

They took a long shower together, spending most of the time just standing in each other's embrace. Once they got out, they laid in bed, curled up under the blankets as close as possible to one another, and watched part of a movie before they had to get up and get dressed. 

Kyoya put on black button-up shirt tucked into black pants which were slightly lighter than the shirt. He also put on a maroon tie and a jacket that matched the pants, leaving the jacket unbuttoned. He stood in front off the mirror, straightening his clothes as Tamaki came up behind him. Tamaki was dressed in a white button-up shirt tucked in dark royal blue pants with a matching jacket and a black tie. 

Kyoya smiled at him in the mirror before turning to look at him, straightening his tie. "You look very nice." 

"Thank you. So do you. Extremely nice." Tamaki commented and looked him up and down. 

He immediately looked down to hide his embarrassment at the way Tamaki looked at him. "Thank you." Once he was sure the embarrassment wouldn't be clear on his face, he looked up and smiled slightly at him. "Shall we get going?" 

"Yeah, let's go," said Tamaki as he gently took Kyoya's hand. He grabbed his wallet and his phone off of the desk before leading Kyoya out of the bedroom. They walked downstairs hand in hand and then they went outside to where a car was waiting for them. 

Tamaki opened the door for Kyoya before the driver could and once he sat down, Tamaki gently kissed the back of his hand before letting go, causing Kyoya to smile slightly at him. He closed the car door and went to his side, climbing in and sitting in the middle seat so that he was close to Kyoya. He took his cold hand again once he put his seat belt on and Kyoya almost instantly leaned against him, sighing contently. Kyoya gently ran his thumb over the back of Tamaki's hand, closing his eyes as they were driven to the restaurant. He smiled slightly to himself as so far the day had been perfect, mostly because there was no one to interrupt them and they could just enjoy each other's company with no worries. 

Within about fifteen minutes they arrived at the restaurant. Once again, Tamaki got out of the car quickly and opened the door for Kyoya, helping him out of the car even though he didn't need the help. Kyoya grabbed his hand when he got out of the car and he smiled softly at him. 

"It's very nice here." He commented and looked around at their surroundings. 

"I'm glad you like it. I just hope it's as special as I want it to be." Tamaki said as he led him into the restaurant. 

"It already is special to me." Kyoya told him and smiled softly. 

He held Tamaki's hand tightly as Tamaki talked to the hostess. After a minute of Tamaki's charm, they got the best table in the restaurant and they were led to their by the hostess. Tamaki let his hand go as he pulled out his chair for him, pushing it back in once he sat down. Kyoya rolled his eyes fondly at how much Tamaki was trying to impress him and make him happy. Tamaki grinned at him as he took his seat across the table from him, reaching out to take his hand again. 

Soon their waiter came to the table and they ordered drinks and their food. As they waited for their food, they just sat there and talked about simple everyday things like they used to before Kyoya got sick. Both of them started to forget that this was mostly likely their only Valentine's Day together. They simply enjoyed the company of each other, no different than any other couple in the restaurant. 

Tamaki was still holding his hand tightly, gently playing with his fingers and gazing lovingly at him. Even when the food came Tamaki didn't release his hand, choosing to eat with his left hand instead of letting go. 

They mostly ate in comfortable silence with occasional light conversation, neither of them feeling the need to say anything. Kyoya ate about three-fourths of his food before a wave a nausea hit him and he almost doubled over, his vision blurring, but he manage to control the urge so that Tamaki didn't notice. He didn't want Tamaki to worry as he just guessed that he ate too much; his body not used more than a few bites of food in a sitting. 

Despite Kyoya trying to hide it, Tamaki noticed how pale he got suddenly and the way he subconsciously dropped his fork. He didn't say anything though as Kyoya seemed to be stable. Kyoya brushed the feeling off almost immediately as he was used feeling ill so he thought it was nothing. 

The rest of their dinner went without another wave of nausea even as they split a piece of cake for dessert. They sat at their table even after they paid for their food until they had to leave to make the show at the planetarium. 

Kyoya stood up and he immediately felt dizzy like he was going to fall, but he managed to shake it off before Tamaki saw that something was wrong. Tamaki walked over to him and smiled brightly. They walked out of the restaurant together and Kyoya was having trouble breathing. He glanced at Tamaki, knowing that the blonde didn't notice anything and he was glad for that because he still had a chance to hide it. The further he walked, the harder it became to breathe and when he had to slow down, Tamaki noticed. 

"Kyoya? Are you okay?" He stopped in the waiting area of the restaurant as Kyoya shook his head. "What's wrong?" 

"I can't breathe." Kyoya muttered and looked at him. 

"Sit down." Tamaki said instantly and took his hand, feeling that it was colder than usual. 

Kyoya shook his head and pulled his hand away. "No, I'm okay. The car is probably right outside anyway, let's just go." He said quietly and refused to sit down, starting to walk towards the door, Tamaki walking quickly behind him. 

"Please take a break. One minute, that's all I'm asking." He said seriously but Kyoya didn't bother responding, walking outside. 

He looked around until he saw the car then he started to walk towards it, getting about halfway there before he doubled over, coughing raggedly. Tamaki immediately ran over to him and tried to help him stand up straight but he kept coughing, staying doubled over. 

Kyoya's vision started to blur when he tried to stand straight up and he was extremely light-headed. "Tama..." He tried to warn him as his vision went completely black and he felt his legs give out. He hit the ground and the last thing he heard was Tamaki saying his name in shock before he fell completely unconscious.


	22. Chapter 22

"Kyoya!" Tamaki exclaimed, unable to react quickly enough to catch him as his fall was so abrupt. He dropped to his knees next to Kyoya and immediately searched for his pulse. After moving his fingers around several times, unable to feel anything, he finally found a very weak pulse. He also was able to tell that he was having difficulty breathing. Once he found his heartbeat, he pulled out his cell phone and called 119. He kept his finger over his pulse to make sure it remained constantly there. 

Tamaki explained the basics of the situation to the man on the phone and he gave him the address of the restaurant. Before hanging up, the man instructed Tamaki to put Kyoya on his side in the recovery position. Tamaki stayed next to him as he waited for the ambulance to arrive, making sure that neither his pulse nor his breathing stopped. 

After almost five minutes, he heard the sound of sirens and he looked up as the ambulance parked in front of the restaurant. As soon as the vehicle was stopped, two paramedics got out with a gurney. They came over to them right away and they lifted Kyoya, who was completely limp, onto the gurney. Tamaki immediately stood up and he went to follow the paramedics to the ambulance when he was stopped by a woman who seemed in charge. 

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked and looked at him. 

He didn't answer at first as he was looking around her into the ambulance where the other two paramedics were with Kyoya. When he did answer, his words were rushed. "We were leaving the restaurant and suddenly he couldn't breathe. I tried to get him to sit down, but he refused to listen and he left the restaurant and began walking towards the car when he started coughing. He was coughing and the next thing I knew he had fainted. He has AIDS." He told her in a rush and watched as one of the paramedics put an oxygen mask over Kyoya's mouth. 

"Thank you for letting me know." She said and started to walk towards the ambulance quickly. 

"Wait! Can I ride with him?" Tamaki called after her. 

"Yes, but hurry up, we need to get to the hospital." She said and as soon as he heard her say yes, Tamaki climbed into the back of the ambulance. 

The male paramedic closed the doors as soon as Tamaki was in and then the ambulance started moving. He took Kyoya's cold hand as they rode to the hospital, his head bowed slightly as he muttered to himself in French to calm his nerves. He lightly squeezed his hand and there was no reaction from Kyoya, not even a slight twitch. Tamaki felt like crying but he managed to keep his emotions hidden, knowing that he had to remain calm for Kyoya. 

In less then ten minutes they arrived at the hospital and before Tamaki even realized they had arrived, the paramedics were already taking Kyoya out of the ambulance. The hospital doctors took the gurney into the hospital and he jumped out of the ambulance, running after them into the hospital. He tried to follow them further into the emergency room but a nurse blocked his path. He was told that he had to wait in the waiting room and that someone would come get him when Kyoya was stable as he wasn't family. He started to argue but the nurse had to run off to an emergency, he just hoped that it wasn't Kyoya. 

Tamaki reluctantly went to the waiting room, sitting down in one of the chairs and trying to remain calm as he waited for any news. As he waited, he pulled out his cell phone and called his father. He told him that they were in the hospital again and that they most likely wouldn't be home for several days. Yuzuru offered to come to the hospital and Tamaki accepted his offer as he didn't want to wait alone. 

Within twenty minutes his father showed up at the hospital and Tamaki immediately went over to him. "Thank you for coming." Tamaki said quietly and bowed slightly to him. "I know you were probably busy." 

"I would not have left you alone, Tamaki. I know how frightened you are for him." Yuzuru said and put a hand on his shoulder. 

He looked up at him and he slowly nodded. "I am terrified. He's dying and there is nothing that I can do to help him. I can only sit and watch as he fades." Tamaki told him, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he struggled not to cry. "I would give everything I have for him to be healthy again. I don't want to lose him." He said softly and his voice broke several times. He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but he wasn't able to and he broke down crying. 

Yuzuru moved forward and pulled Tamaki tightly into his arms, knowing how hard it was to love someone that could die any day. Tamaki clung to him and he cried heavily against his chest, unable to control his emotion. 

"I saw that he was getting worse, but I didn't do anything. His breathing got worse and worse and he was so cold all the time, yet there was nothing I could do to. If he doesn't make it..." Tamaki's voice trailed off and he cried harder, unable to even imagine Kyoya dying. "I have to save him..." 

"Tamaki, you can't cure him. I know how badly you want to, I know that you believe that you're the only person that has a chance at making him any better but at this point, no one has a chance. All you can do now is stay with him. No matter what, you stay with him, Tamaki, or else you will regret it your entire life." His father told him quietly and he tightened his arms around him. 

Tamaki cried heavily against him and shook his head. "No... He can't die. I can't lose him." He mumbled and he collapsed, sobbing into his hands. 

Yuzuru knelt down next to him and wrapped his arms around him again, not saying anything and allowing him to cry. He knew that people were looking at them but at that moment he didn't care how they were perceived by others, all he cared about was his son. 

Over five minutes later Tamaki started to calm down, his tears slowing but not stopping. Once Tamaki had more control over himself, his father helped him off of the floor and to one of the closest chairs before sitting down next to him. Tamaki wiped his eyes slightly and looked down at his feet, slightly embarrassed he lost control of his emotions so badly. 

"I'm sorry." He muttered and looked up at his father. 

"You do not need to apologize. I understand how you feel. You're scared, upset, and you feel useless; it was inevitable that you would eventually breakdown. When the love of your life is sick, you stay strong for them, but you can't always be strong." Yuzuru said knowledgeably and looked at him sadly. "I suspect that it's even harder when you know they're dying and when you can't be with them." 

Tamaki nodded slightly. "I don't even know where he is. I wasn't allowed to go with him because I am not family," he said and sighed heavily. "We both know that I am the closest thing to family that he has ever had, yet because I am not blood related, I have no idea what's happening. He's alone and he could be dying. I want to see him so badly." He whispered and put his face in his hands. 

His father stayed silent for a moment before finally speaking. "Tamaki, hold out your hand." 

Tamaki looked at him in confusion but he did as he was told and slowly held out his hand to him. 

Yuzuru put his closed hand over Tamaki's and when he opened his hand, Tamaki felt something cool hit his palm. His brow furrowed slightly and he looked down at his hand as his father pulled his away. His eyes widened as he saw a engagement ring in his hand. He looked over at Yuzuru, obviously incredibly confused. 

"Marry him. They can't keep you out of the room if you're his legal spouse, plus you love him and he doesn't have much time left." He explained and looked at Tamaki. "He's the only one for you, I can tell. You look at him the exact way I used to look at your mother. So, I want you to use this ring to ask him to marry you before it's too late. I had intended to give it to your mother nineteen years ago, but I never got the chance. Don't be a fool like I was and keep him close while he's still around." 

Tamaki was stunned into silence. He looked down at the ring for a moment before closing his fingers around it. "I would love to marry him, but neither of us are adults yet. He would need his parents' consent and I don't think he would get it. So, here," he made to drop the ring back into his hand, "take it back." 

"Leave that to me. His father is a felon and is no longer considered a proper parental figure, so you just need his mother's permission. If I am unable to talk her into it, his sister will be able to. Keep the ring for now and if I am unsuccessful, then you can give it back." Yuzuru said and Tamaki slowly nodded, putting the ring into the breast pocket of his shirt. 

They were both silent for a moment, both lost in their thoughts until Tamaki spoke. "Thank you, so much." He said softly and leaned over to hug his father, who briefly returned the hug. 

"You're welcome, Tamaki." He responded and smiled slightly. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Tamaki suddenly heard a nurse call for the family of Kyoya Ootori. He immediately got up from his seat and went over to the nurse near the door. 

"Is he alright?" Tamaki asked desperately, truly asking if he was alive. 

"Yes, he's stable." She told him and Tamaki sighed audibly in relief. "But, he is extremely ill. His doctor would like to explain it to you, he just sent me to bring you back to him." 

Tamaki nodded. "Alright, let's go." He told her and waved his hand at his father, signaling for him to come with. 

Yuzuru got up from his seat and walked next to Tamaki as the nurse led them from the waiting room. She led them down several hallways to where they kept the patients that were stable but in critical condition. When they arrived at Kyoya's room, the nurse pushed open the door and moved the curtain back so that Tamaki and his father could enter the room. Tamaki froze when he saw Kyoya and he felt tears fill his eyes again. 

Kyoya was lying on the bed not moving, he was extremely pale, there was an IV in right hand, and he had been intubated. There was also a chest tube in his side that was slowly removing fluid from around his lungs. 

Tears started falling from his eyes and he slowly made his way over to Kyoya. He sat down on the bed next to him and he gently took his left hand, running his thumb lightly over the back of it. "What's wrong with him?" He asked quietly when he heard the doctor walk in. 

"He has something called Severe Sepsis. A lung infection has caused complications in the rest of his body, such as his body temperature being too low, his increased difficulty breathing, and the lack of platelets in his blood. Sepsis is usually treatable with fluids to keep blood pressure normal, but as fluid has built up around his lungs, we can't risk giving him any at this time. He needs to be watched closely because if his blood pressure drops even slightly he may go into Septic Shock, which would, unfortunately, be fatal to someone with AIDS. Severe Sepsis could also be fatal if it isn't treated in time. We have started a strong antibiotic to help with the infection, but as I said we can't give any fluids quite yet." The doctor explained and looked at Tamaki. "We are going to move him up to ICU now that he's stable. You are welcome to stay with him." 

Tamaki nodded slightly and didn't say anything, unable to speak. He gazed down at Kyoya, holding his hand tightly and he eventually spoke. "When will he wake up?" 

"As soon as he can breathe on his own, we will cease the intubation and allow the sedation to wear off." The doctor answered. 

"Is he going to die?" Tamaki muttered and gazed down at him, reaching to gently stroke his hair. 

The doctor was silent for a second before answering honestly. "I don't know." 

His tears started falling faster but he managed to keep his crying silent though he knew he was shaking slightly. Tamaki's father went over to him and gently put his arm around his shoulders. He turned to him slightly and pressed his face into his side, crying heavily and still clinging to Kyoya's hand. 

"I don't want to lose him." Tamaki mumbled brokenly and the doctor left them room to give them some privacy. "I don't know what I'll do without him... It was because of Kyoya that I started to enjoy living here. I can't imagine Japan without him." 

His father didn't say anything and Tamaki slowly pulled away from him, gazing down at Kyoya. He moved closer to him and he leaned down, gently kissing his forehead and letting his lips linger on his skin as he didn't want to pull away. "I love you. I'll do whatever it takes for you to feel better." Tamaki whispered so that no one could hear him. "I need you here with me. You can't leave me yet, I won't let you..."


	23. Chapter 23

After six days, Kyoya was finally able to breathe on his own and the intubation tube was removed. Within a few hours from when the tube was removed and the sedation was ended, Kyoya started to wake up. Tamaki was by his side, holding his hand, like he had been since he was allowed to see him. He was flipping absentmindedly through a magazine to distract himself when he felt his hand twitch and he heard him start to move. Tamaki immediately looked up and smiled softly at him. 

"It's nice to see you awake." He whispered and moved to sit on the bed next to him, still holding his hand tightly. 

Kyoya nodded slightly and looked up at him. "How long have we been here?" He asked, his voice rough and very quiet. "Why do I feel so weak?" 

"Six days." Tamaki answered quietly and reached up to gently stroke his hair. "Because you're sick. You have Severe Sepsis." 

He sighed heavily and he looked up at the ceiling. "That is going to be fatal, isn't it?" He mumbled rhetorically before coughing roughly, too weak to lift his hand to cover his mouth. "I'm sorry, Tamaki..." 

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." He said and lightly caressed his hair. 

"Yes I do. I ruined Valentine's Day. You know, I wish that I could go back in time and change everything that has happened in the last couple years. I wish that we could have more time, Tamaki." He whispered and looked at him, taking short, weak breaths as he was having difficulty breathing. "I'm sorry that I'm dying." 

"It's not your fault." He said softly and leaned down to kiss his forehead gently. 

He laughed humorlessly and he was about to speak before dissolving into a rough coughing fit that was incredibly painful. Tamaki helped him sit up and he held him up as he was too weak to hold his own weight. Once he was able to catch his breath, his chest hurt worse than before and he slumped against Tamaki, closing his eyes tightly. Tamaki wrapped his arms gently around him and he kissed the top of his head, stroking his hair gently. 

"I guess I don't have to ask where the infection is." He muttered and weakly lifted his hand slightly to grab Tamaki's shirt. "My chest hurts terribly..." He told him quietly, breathing raggedly and he knew that Tamaki could hear him wheezing. "The worst part is that this isn't going to get any better. My body won't be able to fight off any infection at this point and my lungs will get weaker and weaker. This is going to kill me..." Kyoya whispered and he felt Tamaki tighten his hold on him, but he didn't speak. "You can't even deny it this time. You know there's no hope left..." He said quietly and sighed heavily. "I bet that the doctor knows how much time I have left already. Did he tell you, Tamaki? Do I have a month? A week?" 

"He said about three months unless the infection clears up." Tamaki told him reluctantly and gently ran his fingers through his hair. 

"Three months before you have to bury me," Kyoya mumbled. "The infection is only going to get worse. No matter what medication they give me while I'm stuck here, the infection will spread because I have no way to fight it." 

"Don't be so negative." Tamaki said seriously and looked down at him. 

Kyoya huffed slightly and shook his head. "How can you say that? I am dying, Tamaki." He said and pulled away though he could barely hold himself up. "I am not going to make it to my twentieth birthday. I am never going to go to medical school or have a chance to prove myself to my family. I can't have a real life with you. That's what hurts the most. The fact I have to leave you..." He whispered and looked down. "I hate how people like my father get a long life, but I don't. He has a family, but I'll never even get the chance. How is that fair? What did I do to deserve this?" Kyoya asked softly and he turned his head to look at him with tears in his eyes. 

"It's not fair at all." Tamaki said quietly and moved close to him again, gently wrapping an arm around him. "You did absolutely nothing. We both know that people don't get sick because they deserve it. Disease doesn't care what kind of person you are." He told him and pulled him close, gently wiping away the few stray tears on Kyoya's face. 

He nodded slightly and he rested his head on his shoulder. "I suppose you're right. I'm just scared." He muttered and moved closer to him. "I'm afraid of the effects my death will have on you, Tamaki. I want you to be happy, even if I'm gone." 

Tamaki sighed quietly and he held him slightly tighter. "Don't worry about me." He whispered and kissed the top his head softly, gazing sadly down at him. Tamaki knew that once Kyoya was gone, he would never be happy again. He knew he would wind up just faking it. There was no other person in the world that could make him happy like Kyoya did and he had accepted that. 

"I have to worry about you. That's all I can do for you." Kyoya said softly and slowly opened his eyes to look at him, immediately hating the sadness in Tamaki's eyes. "Don't look at me like that... We both know that I would do anything to change this." He sighed softly and reached out to take his hand, trying to intertwine their fingers but he was unable to do it evenly and it made him frustrated, so Tamaki did it for him. "I used to never want a life with someone else... I always told myself that I was content being alone, that love was just chemicals in the brain, but you changed that. Now I know that I was never content being alone because I know what being content feels like now... Being content is the same as being with you, Tamaki." He told him softly, unable to look at him. 

"I would do anything to make you feel better. I am so sorry that I can't make you better," Tamaki whispered and kissed his forehead gently. "Maybe the doctor will find something to get rid of the infection before it can spread." Tamaki said hopefully though he knew that it was very unlikely that Kyoya ever get better. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew that he was going to lose Kyoya sooner than he ever thought he would. 

Kyoya sighed heavily and shook his head. "We both know that that is not going to happen. I'm going to die soon; whether I want to or not. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is and we both need to learn to live with that." 

"You can't just give up. There is hope left, Kyoya." He said quietly and ran his fingers gently through his thinning hair. 

"No there's not. How can there be hope when my body can't fight infections? The infection in my lungs is going to kill me. I am already struggling to breathe and it's only going to get worse. I'm sorry but that's what going to happen." He explained bluntly and he buried his face in the crook of his neck, trying to keep his emotions at bay. 

Tamaki was speechless. He knew that Kyoya was right but he never thought that he would say it so bluntly and so calmly. Even though his voice was calm, Tamaki could tell that he was anything but relaxed, he was just scared. He gently tightened his arms around him and he gently played with his hair to keep him calm. 

Kyoya held onto him tightly and he started coughing, turning his head away so that he wouldn't cough on Tamaki. He coughed roughly, unable to catch his breath. Several times his coughing almost stopped, but as soon as it seemed he had caught a break, the coughing would resume even more painfully. Tamaki helped him stay sitting up as he was extremely dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He weakly lifted his hand to cover his mouth and he managed to keep it there through one fit of coughing before it dropped to his lap, covered in blood. The more he coughed, the more blood came up. He started choking and it became even harder for him to breathe. 

He sat up fully, coughing harder in a desperate attempt to clear his lungs and his throat of blood. Blood trickled from his mouth down his chin and he started to become even more pale. Tamaki helped him stay sitting up, not caring as some of Kyoya's blood got onto him. He glanced around the room, looking around desperately to see if there was anything he could do to help. He couldn't find anything but once he saw the fluid bag connected to the chest tube filled to the brim with blood instead of the yellowish mucus, Tamaki knew something was extremely wrong. 

Tamaki immediately stood from the bed and flung open the door to the room, yelling for help before running back to Kyoya, who had fallen backwards without his support. He helped him sit up again and he helped him lean forward so more blood was able to escape from his mouth. He gagged slightly, blood running down his chin as he tried to cough it out. Blood got on Tamaki's skin and clothes, even more getting on him as he used his sleeve to wipe the blood from his chin gently as Kyoya fell unconscious from lack of oxygen and the doctor came running in with two nurses. 

Tamaki got out of the way as soon as the doctor was there and he watched as they had to intubate him almost instantly as his oxygen saturation had gotten too low, but he still seemed to struggle with his breathing. Once he was intubated, one of the nurses changed the drainage bag to allow more blood to drain. The doctor had to use a suction pump to carefully remove the blood from his trachea so that there was a chance he could breathe on his own again. 

As Tamaki watched from the corner, a third nurse came in with an ultrasound. The doctor used the ultrasound to look in his lungs and whatever he saw, he really didn't like the results. He told the nurses to get another chest tube and to start a platelet transfusion. Two nurses left the room and one quickly came back with what the doctor needed to insert another chest tube. Tamaki watched as he inserted the second tube, watching how blood immediately started to drain through both tubes though it was rather slow. The second nurse soon came back in and she immediately started the platelet transfusion. 

After a while of the blood draining, it slowed further and Kyoya seemed to be breathing easier. Tamaki sighed quietly in relief and the doctor walked over to him, standing in front of him. 

"He should be okay. The platelet transfusion seem to have worked and his blood is clotting again. We will do a transfusion every twelve hours to make sure that this does not happen again." The doctor told him. 

"When will the intubation end?" Tamaki asked, hoping that Kyoya wasn't mad at him for continuing to allow the intubation even though he didn't even have a say. 

"As soon as I am positive that he is able to breathe on his own. I suspect that it will be tomorrow morning." The doctor said and he started to leave before glancing back at Tamaki. "Don't forget to change your clothes. You may also want to shower. You need to be more careful." He told Tamaki before leaving the room. 

Tamaki glanced over at Kyoya and sighed heavily. He didn't want to leave Kyoya's side, but he knew the doctor was right, he did need a shower. He headed towards the bathroom, but he stopped about halfway there as he couldn't leave Kyoya alone, even if his health was at risk. The idea of contracting HIV from Kyoya no longer frightened him. In the beginning he wanted to make sure he stayed healthy but ever since Kyoya started getting very sick and Tamaki realized he didn't have much time left, he no longer cared. In his eyes, if Kyoya was gone, it wouldn't matter if he was healthy or unhealthy. 

He turned away from the bathroom and went back to Kyoya's bedside. He sat down in his chair again, lightly taking his cold hand and resting his head on the bed next to Kyoya. Tamaki slowly closed his eyes and after a while, he drifted off into a light slumber.


	24. Chapter 24

Tamaki woke late the next morning and he immediately smelt blood. He sat up quickly and he almost panicked before realizing the smell was coming from his shirt. He rolled his eyes at himself and he stood up from where he sat, taking his shirt off. He threw the bloody shirt in the garbage and put on a clean black one, also changing his pants as they too had blood on them. Once he was changed, he washed his hands just in case there was any blood on his skin. Then he went back to his place at Kyoya's side. 

He gently took his hand and gazed at him sadly, wishing that it was him lying in the hospital bed instead of Kyoya. It physically hurt Tamaki to see him so broken. He ran his thumb lightly over the back of his hand, barely noticing as the doctor came into the room. The only thing he did to acknowledge him was nodding his head when he was told that the intubation could end. Tamaki didn't move as they tube was removed and the doctor just worked around him, not having the heart to ask him to move. 

Once the tube was out and his drainage bags were changed, the doctor left again, leaving them alone. Tamaki sat by his side as he waited for him to wake up, not doing anything except staring at their hands. The room was completely silent except for the constant beeping of the heart monitor. 

After a hour of silence, Kyoya started to wake. He was extremely groggy and he didn't even try to speak as his throat hurt too badly. When Tamaki noticed that he was awake, he got up to get him a drink of water. He raised the bed slightly so that he was sitting up completely and he sat on the bed next to him. 

"Here, drink this." He whispered and handed him the cup. Kyoya tried to take it from him but his hand were shaking too badly and he couldn't get his fingers to wrap around the cup. "Let me help..." Tamaki said quietly and he held the cup for him, helping him take small sips from it. 

Kyoya took a few drinks before shaking his head slightly the next time Tamaki raised the cup to his mouth. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly as he set the cup down on the table next to the bed. 

"My chest hurts, my throat is sore, and I have a headache." Kyoya mumbled dejectedly and he looked over at him. "I thought I told you that I didn't want to be intubated ever again once I was stuck in the hospital?" 

"I wasn't going to let you die. Not when there was something that the doctor could do to help." Tamaki told him quietly, reaching up to gently run his fingers through his hair. 

"You have no right to decide whether I live or die. That is my choice." Kyoya said coldly and looked away, wishing he had the strength to smack Tamaki's hand away though it was slightly comforting. "You don't know how much it hurts..." 

Tamaki sighed heavily and slowly nodded. "I'm sorry, Kyoya. I'm just not ready to lose you..." He mumbled, knowing that he was being selfish but he couldn't bare the idea of Kyoya dying so soon. 

"I'm not ready either, but it is not something either of us can control. We can fight it, but I am going to die and it will most likely be soon." Kyoya sighed and closed his eyes. "I can't live like this, Tamaki. I don't want to live like this." 

"I know, but you can't completely give up yet. There is still hope left." Tamaki told him softly and leaned down to gently kiss his forehead. 

Kyoya laughed humorlessly and slowly opened his eyes. "If you believe that, then you really are foolish. I am going to die no matter what the doctor do or what they try to give me. You will have to bury me by the time spring arrives. I am sorry that you can not see that yet." Kyoya said seriously and looked over at him, frowning slightly. "I wish that wasn't the case, but it is, so you are going to have to get used to that and just let me go." 

"I refuse to do that. I am not going to sit back and watch you die." Tamaki insisted and stood up, looking down at him. 

"You have no choice. I am going to sign an allow natural death order and a do not resuscitate order, because apparently, I can't trust you to respect my wishes." Kyoya said coldly and looked over at Tamaki. "I no longer care about dying." He lied, finding it easier than telling the truth. Kyoya was terrified about dying, but he knew that it was inevitable for him and he had decided to accept it. "You are now the only one that cares." 

Tamaki was speechless and he looked down at him for a moment before turning away. "I am not going to sit here and watch you give up. If you're not even going to try any longer, I'm leaving." 

"Fine. I'll have one of the nurses call you when I die." Kyoya said coldly and calmly, his face completely expressionless. 

Tamaki didn't say anything, silently walking out of the room and leaving Kyoya completely alone. 

Without Tamaki there, the only sound was the beeping of the machines around the room and everything felt empty. It had been so long since he was without Tamaki, he had no idea what to do to fill the void he left. He sat alone in the hospital room until the doctor came in to check on him. When the doctor was there, he forced himself to request the two orders to sign. The doctor agreed and about two hours later a nurse brought in the two forms, which he signed even though his hands were shaking. No matter what he told Tamaki, he never truly wanted to die. 

Several days passed and, to Kyoya's surprise, Tamaki never showed up. It was the first time since the incident that he was truly alone. His sister visited a few times but otherwise he just sat in the hospital room by himself and slept. What Kyoya didn't know was that Tamaki did come, but he never came when Kyoya was awake. Tamaki sat by his side for hours while he slept but as soon as he started to wake up, Tamaki would leave. 

He began to grow weaker and the antibiotic he had been taking for the pneumonia stopped working so he was forced to take a stronger antibiotic. It was given through an IV twice a day and every time after it was given, he threw up. It also caused dizzy spells. Several times he went for a short walk with his sister and ended up falling. After the third time he fell, he was forced to stay in bed or stay in a wheelchair whenever he left the room. Even with the side effects, the doctor kept him on the antibiotic as it was working against the infection. 

The infection was getting better but he remained very weak and the dizzy spells got worse. He also began to have difficulty remembering basic things things like his full name and the year. Kyoya began to sleep even more and he stopped being able to get out of bed at all, even with a wheelchair. Tamaki began staying all day because even when Kyoya was awake, he didn't remember him most of the time and if he did remember who he was, the next time he woke up, the memory was gone. Tamaki never left his side again. 

By the end of February, he was able to stop the antibiotic and the dizzy spells decreased, as did his memory problems. He continued to have trouble remembering the date but he remembered who he was and who Tamaki was. He also knew why he was in the hospital but he no longer had the emotional strength to hide how much he feared dying and several times, Tamaki found him crying. His mental and physical strength was gone. He began to rely on Tamaki for almost everything, but Tamaki never felt bitter or angry towards him, even when they both had to spend all their in the hospital. Kyoya felt extremely guilty, but he never admitted that to Tamaki. 

On March fourth, Kyoya was alert all day and he was even able to tell the nurse the date every single time he was asked. The next day was their graduation so he persistently asked the doctor if he could go, refusing to take no for an answer. He had permission from Tamaki's father and the rest of the school board if he could get the doctor to sign off on it, so he did not stop asking. 

The doctor took his vitals several times and once he couldn't find a good enough reason to say no, he gave in and allowed him to go as long as he could talk one of the nurses into accompanying him. Kyoya easily talked one of his regular nurses, Elizabeth, into going by promising to buy her dinner so she didn't have to eat the hospital's food. 

The next morning Kyoya did not feel well. He and Tamaki both knew that it was going to be one of his bad days, but when Kyoya begged Tamaki not to tell the doctor, Tamaki agreed when he saw how desperate Kyoya was. The nurse also agreed not to tell the doctor as long as Kyoya did whatever she and Tamaki told him to do. He easily agreed. 

Kyoya was unable to remember the date when the nurse asked him though he knew that he and Tamaki were going to their graduation. The nurse lied in the charts and said that Kyoya was able to remember the date and he was cleared to leave the hospital for a few hours. 

Yuzuru brought their school uniforms to the hospital and they both changed before they left for the school. Tamaki had to help Kyoya get dressed and he noticed small skin lesions on his lower neck but he didn't say anything, making a mental note to tell the doctor when they got back. When he saw them, he glanced over the nurse and she nodded slightly as she saw them too. Tamaki tilted his head slightly, asking if they were something bad and she nodded briefly. Tamaki's frowned momentarily but he managed to conceal his expression before Kyoya noticed. Tamaki had to button his shirt and jacket as well as tie his tie for him as Kyoya's hands trembled too much and were too weak to grasp the little buttons and knot the tie. 

Once they were dressed, Tamaki helped Kyoya from the hospital bed and into a wheelchair. Elizabeth switched the source of oxygen flowing through the cannula from a stationary oxygen tank to a portable one and she hung it on the back of the wheelchair before moving out of the way so that Tamaki could push the chair if he wished. Tamaki went behind him and took the handles of the chair, following his father and the nurse out of the room. 

He glanced down at Kyoya and he could tell that he was already exhausted and they had barely done anything. Tamaki knew that the day was going to be rough on him, but he also knew that if he said anything, Kyoya would get upset with him so he kept his mouth shut. They went down to the front of the hospital where a car was waiting and Tamaki helped Kyoya out of the wheelchair into the backseat of the car. The nurse handed Tamaki the oxygen tank once he had Kyoya in the car and he set the tank on the floor by his feet. He then helped Elizabeth put the wheelchair in the trunk of the car before getting in the backseat, moving all the way over so he was sitting right next to Kyoya. He took his hand gently and the nurse got in the car, sitting in the row of seats behind them as Yuzuru sat next to Tamaki. Kyoya leaned against him and within five minutes he was sound asleep, his grip on Tamaki's hand extremely weak though he was clinging to him.


	25. Chapter 25

They arrived at the school within a half hour and Kyoya was still sound asleep against Tamaki. Tamaki didn't want to wake him as Kyoya needed to rest, but he carefully woke him up when they arrived, knowing how upset Kyoya would be if he didn't. He gently woke him up and kissed his forehead softly before getting out of the car and going around to the other side, slowly opening Kyoya's door. Elizabeth got the wheelchair out of the trunk and brought it over to Tamaki as he lifted Kyoya out of the car. He didn't even bother setting Kyoya on his own two feet and he just held him bridal style as Elizabeth unfolded the wheelchair. 

Tamaki gently set him in the chair and kissed his hair softly. He smiled at him and then he grabbed the oxygen tank out of the car, putting on the back of the wheelchair like before. 

Kyoya smiled back slightly and looked around. "I never thought I would ever be back here." He muttered, his voice barely as whisper as he was still half asleep and very weak. 

"I'm glad the doctor let you come with us." Tamaki said softly and started to push the wheelchair, following his father towards the auditorium. He didn't tell Kyoya that he wouldn't have come if Kyoya had been unable to. 

"As am I," Kyoya said softly and looked around, smiling slightly to himself. He was silent for a few minutes before he quietly asked Tamaki a question. "When we go up to get our diplomas, will you help me walk?" 

Tamaki was silent for a moment, thinking, until he slowly nodded. "Yes," Tamaki told him even though he knew that there was no way that Kyoya was strong enough to walk across the entire stage even with his help. He also knew how important all of it was to Kyoya and he couldn't tell him no. 

"Thank you." Kyoya said and turned his head back slightly to look at Tamaki, smiling softly. 

"You're welcome." He responded and leaned down to lightly kiss his head as they made their way into the auditorium. 

The auditorium was still mostly empty except for the teachers as they had to arrive early because of Yuzuru and because Tamaki was to give the valedictorian speech, in place of Kyoya. As they walked in, most people turned to look at them and Tamaki saw Kyoya shrink in the chair. Kyoya had never liked being the center of attention and with how ill he looked, he knew that everyone would notice him. 

Their teachers looked at them like they wanted to say something, but they never got the chance to as just then the Haruhi, Honey, Mori, Kaoru, and Hikaru showed up in front of them. Kyoya was extremely grateful for their interruption for once. 

Kyoya couldn't remember the last time he had seen them but he guessed it was a long time from the way Haruhi was looking at him. She had noticed the pallor of his skin, the way the light no longer seemed to reach his eyes, and how his once perfectly tailored uniform now hung off his body as if he had borrowed it from someone twice his size. She was the only one that seemed to notice. 

She came up to him and looked down at him. "How are you feeling?" 

"Tired," he answered and looked up at her. Kyoya was more than just physically tired; he was mentally exhausted as well. He just wanted everything to be over. 

Haruhi nodded slightly, knowing exactly how he truly felt with just the one word. "You look like it." She said and he smiled slightly. 

He always felt better talking to her. She was always more real than Tamaki; she never bothered trying to change his mind or sugarcoat anything. She was logical about his illness just like Kyoya was whereas Tamaki was so dependent on his feelings. "I know. Did Tamaki ask you all to come today?" 

"I suppose in a way he did. He called us for you after you asked him to." She told him, knowing that he didn't remember. 

Kyoya frowned deeply and stayed silent for a moment, trying to find the memory but he was unable to. "I don't remember that. When was that?" 

"Yesterday," she answered. 

"It seems as though my memory is dissipating faster than the doctor predicted. I just hope that I remember this." He said quietly and looked fondly over at Tamaki who was smiling like he hadn't for weeks. Haruhi followed his gaze briefly before looking at him again. "I can't make him smile like that anymore. He tries, but I see right through it. His eyes are always sad when he looks at me. He tries so hard so pretend that he's strong for me, but I know that this is ripping him apart." Kyoya told her and looked at her again, but his eyes were unfocused. "Part of me wishes that I never would have met him. I wouldn't hate dying if it wasn't for him. He has so much love in him and he has wasted all of it on me. If we never would have met, he wouldn't be so sad..." He said and his voice faded as he spoke until he was muttering to himself. 

Haruhi heard every word he said but she knew that Kyoya was no longer talking to her and he seemed to forget that she was even standing there with him. She looked down at him sadly and she hated how Kyoya had changed so much in the last year. Haruhi knew that if she hated it, Tamaki would have to absolutely loathe it. 

Kyoya was still muttering to himself and Tamaki noticed after a moment. He moved close to him and gently kissed the top of his head. "Are you alright?" He asked, pulling Kyoya out of his own thoughts. 

"Yes, I'm fine." He nodded slightly and looked up at him. "Why?" 

"I just wanted to check on you." Tamaki said and ran his fingers through his hair gently. "Can you tell me what month it is and where we are?' He asked as he was told by the doctor to use questions to see how he was functioning mentally. 

"We're at school and the month is..." His voice trailed off as he couldn't remember and he looked down, trying his hardest to figure it out. He couldn't even remember the order of the months well enough to guess close to the actual month. "September." 

Tamaki slowly shook his head. "No. It's March, but we are at school." 

He nodded slightly and he was silent. Tamaki sighed heavily and gently kissed the top of his head, absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair. "We should probably take our seats." He said quietly as more people started to enter the auditorium. 

"Alright." Kyoya said softly, shrinking in the wheelchair again as he tried to ignore the way people were looking at him. 

They said goodbye to their friends and then they started walking towards their seats, Elizabeth following. They were on the outside of the second to last row next to each other as there was an exception in the rules for them as Kyoya needed Tamaki's help. Tamaki put his wheelchair next to the row before taking his seat and grabbing Kyoya's hand as Elizabeth sat in the row directly behind the students. 

Kyoya stayed slumped in the chair and he tried to ignore everyone else in the auditorium. "This wasn't a good idea." Kyoya mumbled and looked down at their hands. 

"Why is that?" Tamaki asked softly and looked over at him, frowning slightly. 

"I'm not me anymore and all the people here have never seen me like this. I feel like everyone is staring at us because I look like a walking corpse." Kyoya told him quietly and he sighed heavily. 

"Just ignore them. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." Tamaki whispered and he lightly ran his thumb over the back of his hand. 

Kyoya took a deep breath before nodding slightly. "I'll try..." 

"Good." Tamaki smiled warmly at him and he lifted his hand, softly kissing the back of it. 

He looked over at him briefly before looking around the auditorium, part of him still wanting to leave before the ceremony started. It was too late though as the last person had just taken their seat. Kyoya tightened his grip on Tamaki's hand and he stared down at his feet as the ceremony began. The first part of the ceremony was simply Tamaki's father making a speech. 

After the speech there was polite applause from the crowd before someone else came to the podium in the center of the stage. Kyoya ignored everyone on stage too lost in his thoughts to even pretend to be paying attention. Even when he tried to follow along with what was happening, he couldn't focus on anything that was said. He eventually stopped trying until Tamaki nudged him gently. 

"It's my turn next. This should be your speech... I wish that you could come up with me." Tamaki said quietly and gazed over at him, trying to ignore how unfocused his eyes seemed. 

He shook his head. "As do I but we both know that I can't. You'll do great, Tamaki. You'll be much better at giving a speech than I ever could have been, even healthy." Kyoya said quietly and smiled weakly at him. "Some of my words are in that speech and it should make you sound more intelligent." He said playfully but his voice had no playful tone to it, it was incredibly quiet. 

Tamaki knew that he was trying to be playful and he smiled softly at him, nodding. "That will help me. We'll know that you wrote this too, so in a way, you'll be there with me." He whispered and kissed his cheek gently, trying to forget that they originally wrote the speech for Kyoya. He felt terrible for doing the speech in Kyoya's place even though he knew he didn't have a choice. 

He nodded slightly and he looked over at Tamaki as he was invited to the stage. "Good luck." He whispered and squeezed his hand gently. 

"Thanks." Tamaki smiled warmly at him and returned the squeeze, his grip much stronger than Kyoya's. He let go of his hand and made his way up to the stage, starting to give the speech they wrote. 

Kyoya tried his hardest to focus on Tamaki because he wanted to support him, but barely a minute into the speech, Tamaki's words no longer made any sense to him. He could see his mouth moving but he couldn't understand anything he was saying. He made sure to keep his eyes on him because he often looked at him. 

Tamaki gave the speech and tried to put his heart into it but there was barely any joy left in his voice and he was fairly certain that the rest of the people in the auditorium could tell. His eyes often lingered on Kyoya and even from the stage, he could tell that his eyes had glazed over again. He was able to see how hard he was trying though and he appreciated it. It took him a little under four minutes to give the entirety of the speech and by the time he was finished, he was exhausted from pretending that graduation was a joyous occasion for him. He hadn't felt real joy for months. 

After his speech there was loud applause and he bowed before returning to his seat. He sat down next to Kyoya and gently took his hand. 

The feeling of Tamaki's grabbing his hand brought Kyoya back to reality and he smiled softly up at him. "You did great." 

"Thank you." He smiled and kissed his forehead gently, knowing that Kyoya really had no idea how the speech went. It could have been terrible and in his current state, Kyoya would have said that it was perfect. That wasn't his Kyoya. His Kyoya would have told him that his speech didn't have enough emotion and that he had stuttered. His Kyoya had been gone for a year. 

He nodded slightly and he smiled briefly at him, holding his hand tighter. "When do we get our diplomas?" He asked softly just as the first row of students stood and lined up to walk across the stage. 

"As soon as they call our names." Tamaki answered and looked at him. "Are you sure that you want to walk?" 

Kyoya immediately nodded. "Yes. I need to do this." He said quietly, needing to prove to himself that he can still function properly. 

Tamaki knew that it wasn't a good idea but he nodded slightly. "Alright. I'll help you walk but you have to tell me immediately if you need to sit or if you feel faint. Even if you think it's nothing, you have to tell me. Deal?" 

"Deal." Kyoya agreed and looked around the auditorium, losing his focus again. It wasn't until Tamaki stood up at he realized it was time. He was terrified to try to walk on his own and to go on stage in front of the entire school. 

Tamaki stood in front of him and held out his hands to him. Kyoya grabbed his hands tightly and Tamaki lifted him to his feet, his legs giving out almost immediately. He easily caught him and helped him stand up straight. Kyoya wrapped an arm around Tamaki's shoulders as Tamaki's arm went around his waist. Tamaki took the oxygen tank off of the back of the wheelchair and he put it over his shoulder so that the tubing was behind him. 

They walked together behind the other students of their row and by the time they made it to the edge of the stage Kyoya was already out of breath. Tamaki could tell that he wasn't going to make it across the stage but he didn't have the heart to suggest that he not do it. 

They waited a few seconds then their names were called together and Tamaki helped Kyoya up the few stairs and onto the stage. Kyoya's legs shook as he took small steps across the stage, being almost completely supported by Tamaki though he was trying to walk. He was breathing heavily and he looked like he could faint at any moment but he kept walking, not saying anything to Tamaki. They walked to center stage where Tamaki's father was waiting with their diplomas. 

He handed Kyoya's his first and Tamaki had to stand slightly behind him to hold him up as Kyoya needed both of his hands. He took the diploma in his left hand before shaking Yuzuru's hand, unable to bow without falling. Once Kyoya had received his diploma, Tamaki moved to his right side so that his own right hand was free. He shook his father's hand first before taking his diploma in his right hand as it was his only free hand. His father smiled briefly at them so only they noticed before they started walking to the other end of the stage. 

Kyoya had a harder time walking after he had stopped. His legs shook so much it was visible to people in the audience but he kept trying to walk, not wanting Tamaki to have to carry him. He was about halfway across the other half of the stage before everything started to spin and his legs gave out completely as he fell unconscious, his diploma falling out of his hand. Tamaki managed to catch him before he hit the ground and he picked him up, carrying him bridal style. He rushed off stage and immediately went out of the auditorium, not caring about their diplomas lying on the stage. Elizabeth grabbed their things and the wheelchair before following them out 

Tamaki took him outside and set him down on a bench, standing in front of him and trying to wake him. "Kyoya? Kyoya?" He shook him gently and lightly touched his face. "Come on, love. Wake up..." He whispered and shook him again gently. He kept trying to wake him and after a couple minutes, his eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked at Tamaki blankly. "Are you alright?" Tamaki asked gently. 

He nodded slightly but he looked around in confusion. "Where am I?" 

Tamaki frowned deeply and ran his fingers gently through his hair. "You're at school. We came for graduation." 

"Oh, okay." He said and nodded, believing Tamaki easily. "I'm tired." He muttered and looked up at him. 

He sat down on the bench next to him and he held out his arm slightly. Kyoya immediately moved close to him and lied down, resting his head in Tamaki's lap and closing his eyes. Tamaki lightly ran his fingers through his hair and within a couple minutes he was sound asleep. 

Elizabeth stood in front of them and looked down at them. "We need to get back to the hospital." 

"I know, but the ceremony will be over in about ten minutes then we'll ride back with my father. He'll be fine if we wait a little longer." Tamaki said and gazed down at him sadly. 

"You do know that it's going to be harder and harder to wake him, don't you? It only took a couple minutes this time, but next time he passes out it may take hours." Elizabeth said and sat down in the wheelchair, not wanting to stand there for ten minutes. 

Tamaki slowly nodded. "Yes, I know. I realize that he's only going to get worse and worse, but while he still mostly functions I want him to be able to do what he wants. This may be the last time he is able to come outside and I don't want to shorten it." Tamaki explained and looked over at her. 

"I suppose that's a good reason. I've seen lots of people refuse to go outside and then regret it once they can't." She told him and leaned back in the wheelchair. 

"Have you ever seen someone like this?" He asked her. "Have you ever had to take care of someone with AIDS?" 

She nodded slightly. "Yes, but they were all older. I have never seen a nineteen year old with AIDS. I've seen fifty year old men die of this but his case is the hardest to watch." 

"It's horrid. He was so intelligent and had so much potential, but now that has turned to nothing. It just makes me so mad..." Tamaki said quietly and lightly played with his hair, gazing down at him. 

Elizabeth nodded and didn't say anything as Tamaki looked deep in thought. 

They sat outside as they waited for the ceremony to end. About ten minutes later people started to leave the auditorium. Haruhi, Honey, Mori, Kaoru, and Hikaru came over to them once they were out of the auditorium and they sat on the ground in front of them. None of them said anything but Tamaki felt slightly better because of their presence. A few minutes later Tamaki's father came out of the auditorium with their diplomas in his hand and he walked over to them. Everyone stood as he came over except Tamaki as he didn't want to wake Kyoya. 

Once he came over they were ready to leave and Tamaki was careful not to wake Kyoya as he slowly got up. He let him lay on the bench as he stood then he bent down and lifted him into his arms, finding it better to carry him then wake him. They all walked to the car together and Tamaki carried Kyoya all the way there. When they reached the car, Haruhi and the twins offered to bring them dinner in the hospital. Tamaki was tempted to say no, but he knew that he shouldn't just sit in the hospital room doing nothing so he accepted their offer. 

They parted ways and Tamaki carefully put Kyoya in the car, trying his best not to wake him. Once Kyoya was settled and the wheelchair in the trunk, everyone else got into the car. The entire ride to the hospital was silent.


	26. Chapter 26

Kyoya slept the entire ride back to the hospital, leaning against Tamaki. When they were about five minutes away from the hospital, Tamaki finally started trying to wake him. He shook him gently but he stayed deeply asleep, the shaking not affecting him at all. As they arrived at the hospital, Tamaki still was unable to wake him so he stopped trying, figuring that it would be easier to carry him again. 

They all got out of the car and Elizabeth got the wheelchair as Tamaki went around to the right side of the car to get Kyoya. He opened the door and unbuckled the seat belt before gently lifting him out of the car. He held him in his arms as he and Elizabeth walked back into the hospital, his father leaving to go to a meeting but promising to come back the next morning. 

The two took the elevator to the ICU and then walked back to Kyoya's room in silence. Once they were in the room, Tamaki gently laid Kyoya down on the bed as Elizabeth switched the nasal cannula back to the stationary oxygen tank and put his IV back in. She also hooked him back up to all the monitors in the room. Tamaki sat down on the bed and lied on his side next to Kyoya, gently playing with his hair. She left the room to give them peace and she because had to get back to work. 

Tamaki gazed down at him and propped himself up on his elbow, resting his head in his hand. He sighed heavily as he gazed down at him, wishing that there was something that he could do to make him better. He hated seeing Kyoya so sick, but he knew that it was only going to get worse and he would have to watch Kyoya's condition continue to decrease. It hurt more than anything to know there was nothing to do to help him. 

He felt tears fill his eyes and he started crying, pressing his face into his hair. In his mind, he pictured Kyoya falling over and over again, knowing that will never be strong enough to walk by himself ever again. He'll never be strong again. His memory is going to fade and Tamaki knew that one day, Kyoya would wake up and have no idea who he was or know that he had once loved Tamaki. That broke his heart and he started to cry heavier. He lifted his head and gazed down at him. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked at his face, surprised at how peaceful he looked. He had never noticed that before. When Kyoya's eyes weren't visible, he didn't look as broken. He still looked obviously ill, but the emptiness of his eyes wasn't seen. 

He ran his fingers gently through his hair, to lost in thought to notice as their friends walked into the room. They were all very quiet once they saw him and Haruhi walked over to him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. 

The sudden touch made him jump slightly and he looked up, quickly wiping his eyes as soon as he saw her. 

She looked at him sympathetically and smiled briefly at him before moving away to sit down. "Has he been asleep since the graduation?" 

Tamaki nodded and sat up slightly as everyone took a seat around the room. "Yes. I haven't been able to wake him up after he fell asleep on the bench at school." 

"That is normal for his illness, right?" She asked. 

"Yes." He answered quietly and took the container of food he was handed by Hikaru. 

No one else said anything and they all ate in silence. Tamaki barely ate his food, just picking at it as he had no appetite; he had barely eaten anything since he started spending everyday in the hospital. He guessed that he had lost weight just as Kyoya had. He ate about one-fourth of his food before he set it on the table next to the bed and lied down again. Tamaki didn't pay attention to anyone else in the room. 

Haruhi watched him closely, seeing how badly Kyoya's illness had affected Tamaki. She also thought about what Kyoya had said before the graduation about only ever seeing sadness in his eyes and she realized that he's right. Tamaki looked despondent. She hated seeing them like that and she knew that the others did too. 

Tamaki could tell that she was watching him but he couldn't bring himself to care. There wasn't much he cared about anymore. He gazed down at Kyoya and gently ran his fingers through his hair, wishing that all of this could just be a bad dream. That he would wake up and it would still be before Kyoya got sick. They wouldn't be together but at least he wouldn't be dying and he supposed that they would still see each other often. He wouldn't care as long as Kyoya was okay. Tamaki knew that it wasn't a dream. He knew that he would soon watch Kyoya die and it broke his heart. 

After the others ate, they tried to start talking to him, but Tamaki just continued to ignore them and eventually they gave up. They all left but Haruhi. She intended to leave as well but before she went, she went over to him and Kyoya, lightly kissing Tamaki's head then Kyoya's before walking out of the room silently. 

  


Kyoya woke up late the next day on his own, after sleeping for almost twenty four hours, with Tamaki sound asleep next to him. He looked around in confusion, slowly sitting up as a frown appeared on his face. He had no idea where he was and everything around him seemed like it was spinning. Kyoya was able to recognize Tamaki, but he wasn't sure who he was to him so he completely ignored him. 

He got up out of bed and walked a few paces, not sure where he was going. Kyoya looked around and nothing looked right so he tried to take another step but his legs gave out and he fell to the floor. His head hit the floor with a loud crack and he knocked over the IV pole which came crashing down, waking Tamaki. 

He immediately jumped up at the loud noise and he ran to peek his head out the door, yelling for help. Once he heard someone coming, he ran to Kyoya, who was unconscious, and knelt down next to him. Tamaki made sure not to jostle him as he reached to lightly touch the back of his head, feeling how his hair damp from the blood and when he pulled his hand way, it was covered with blood. He looked up as he heard a few people come into the room and he stood up, quickly getting out of the way. 

A nurse put a collar around his neck before two nurses lifted him off of the floor and back onto the bed, the third picking up the IV pole. The doctor came in and had the nurses roll Kyoya onto his side as he looked at the wound on his head. He immediately ordered a local anesthetic and within a minute, a syringe was pressed into his hand. He administered the anesthetic and waited about thirty seconds for it to kick in before taking a staple gun from a nurse. He stapled the wound shut and then he wrapped his head with gauze. Then he backed away and removed his gloves, discarding them in the hazard waste bin before turning his gaze towards Tamaki and walking over to him. 

"What happened?" He asked seriously. 

"I don't know. I was asleep and I woke up when I heard him fall and he was lying on the floor. I have no idea why he even got up without waking me first. He knows better..." Tamaki muttered and looked over at Kyoya, frowning deeply. 

"He usually knows better but he might not have this time. He essentially has dementia due to the AIDS and one thing he knows extremely well one day, he may have no recollection of it the next. It is very unfortunate for someone of his age and his intelligence, but it there is nothing we can do to help. Some days are going to be great and he'll seem pretty normal and then others will be like this. He won't know where he's at, he might not even know you." The doctor told him and sighed. "Just so you know, most days are going to be very unpleasant for him. He will be exhausted, in pain, struggling to breath, and he will be scared. Most days he won't know why he feels this way and that will terrify him. You will have to be patient and calming with him or else he will get even sicker mentally." 

Tamaki listened to him and nodded occasionally. "I know. I know that one day he won't remember me and no matter how much I don't want it to happen, I am prepared for it to come. I just wish that there was something I could do." He told him and walked back to sit next to Kyoya in a chair next to the bed. 

"So do I." The doctor said and had a nurse start an IV drip of morphine before they all left the room. 

Tamaki sighed heavily and he gently took Kyoya's hand, not wanting to take his eyes off of him so he didn't get hurt again. He pressed his cheek to the back of his hand and he slowly closed his eyes, starting to sing quietly in French to calm himself. The idea that one day Kyoya wouldn't remember him, hurt him much more than he would ever admit to anyone. He knew that it wasn't Kyoya's fault, but he feared the day that he would look at him and their would be no recognition in his eyes; no love or tenderness. The idea frightened him more than anything else ever had. 

He slowly opened his eyes and gazed down at Kyoya before reaching in his pocket and pulling out the engagement ring his father had given him. He held the ring in his hand, looking sadly down at it. He was no longer sure that he would ever get the chance to propose to him and if he did, he had no idea if they would ever be able to get married one day. Tamaki made sure the Kyoya was asleep before moving his hand down and gently slipping the ring onto his finger. It fit perfectly. 

Tamaki started crying softly and gently removed the ring before putting it back in his pocket. He kissed the back of his hand gently and moved to sit on the bed again, reaching down to lightly run the backs of his fingers over his cheek. He held his cold hand tightly as he gazed down at him, crying heavily but silently as he didn't want anyone to hear him. 

His gaze remained on Kyoya's face until he heard footsteps coming into the room and he looked up, immediately wiping his tears when he saw his father walk in. He looked at him but stayed seated and silent. 

"How is he?" Yuzuru asked, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence. 

"He fell. I was asleep and he didn't know enough to wake me up and he fell. He hurt himself." He answered softly, turning his sad eyes back to Kyoya. "The doctor basically said that he is losing his mind and that everything that he ever was will be long gone. Everything that we have will be gone as well. At least once he passes, he won't be in pain or suffering anymore. He'll get away from a life that was so cruel to him." Tamaki mumbled in a despairing voice. He felt like his heart was breaking. 

He walked over to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "I know how hard this is on both of you and it's going to get worse. I am so sorry, Tamaki. The last thing I have ever wanted is to see you this upset." 

Tamaki leaned against him and closed his eyes as he was still crying slightly. "I just want things to be better for him. I don't care about how this is affecting me; it just hurts to see him like this. A few days ago, he told me that he just wanted to die and I almost started crying in front of him though if I could, I would let him go at this point. He is so sick and most days he knows it. He has given up and I have too. I wish there was something I could do for him..." Tamaki muttered and sniffed softly, tears escaping his eyes even though they were closed. 

"He is strong and, with you by his side, he'll be able to get through the days until his body gives out." He told him and tightened his arm around him slightly. "All you can do for him is stay by his side and I know how hard that is, but it is still important. He needs you." 

"I know. That's why I'm not going anywhere; I'm not leaving his side ever again. I know that I am going to be right next to him when he dies." Tamaki said quietly and opened his eyes, gazing down at Kyoya. 

Yuzuru started to open his mouth to speak when he realized that Tamaki was no longer paying attention to him. The only way he acknowledged him was by staying leaning against him, but otherwise his focus was completely on Kyoya. 

Tamaki gazed sadly down at him, unable to stop thinking about how one day, he will never be able to hold his hand again. One day, he will never hear his voice again. One day, he will never make him smile again. One day, he will never see him again.


	27. Chapter 27

For over two weeks, Kyoya only had bad days. Each day was worse and worse, but no matter how much he forgot, he always remembered Tamaki. Most days he had no idea where he was or why he felt so ill. What the doctor had told Tamaki was true, Kyoya became very frightened and all he ever did was stay curled up in bed next to Tamaki. He ignored everyone else that came in and out of the room. He even ignored the doctor when he did a physical examination and he found the sores on his back which had also spread to his arms and abdomen. Kyoya didn't care at all when the doctor came back and told them the sores were cancerous and that there was the option of radiation. 

Kyoya had ignored him completely until he started talking about radiation then he repeatedly shook his head and buried his face in Tamaki's neck, hiding. Tamaki agreed that there would be no point in radiation when the doctor told them very bad news. Neither of them had a say in Kyoya's medical treatment anymore. 

Kyoya's mental state had declined to far for him to make well informed decisions and Tamaki wasn't technically family so all control went to Kyoya's mother and his oldest brother. Tamaki argued that they never even came to see them and they had no right to take control when they didn't even care about him. The doctor was in agreement with Tamaki but he wasn't going to break the law. He also had to tell them that Kyoya's mother had taken away all the forms that Kyoya had signed previously because he was still a minor. He told them that her exact words were to do whatever it took to keep Kyoya alive, no matter what. 

Tamaki was in a flurry of emotions but when he looked down at Kyoya, he was already asleep again. Tamaki knew that it wasn't the doctor's fault but he was unable to control himself and he started yelling at the doctor and repeatedly telling him to get out of the room until he finally left. Once he was gone, Tamaki called his father and asked many questions, trying to figure out if Kyoya's mother was really in the right of the law to just take control like that. He found out that she was and that there was nothing anyone could do about it because Kyoya didn't have a legal spouse to overrule his mother. 

He angrily hung up the phone and he almost threw it before he controlled his anger and put it in his pocket. He lied down with Kyoya again and he wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him as close as possible. Tamaki lightly played with his arm and hummed softly to keep himself calm. He took slow deep breaths and buried his face in Kyoya's hair, wishing there was something that he could do when an idea hit him. He was going to ask Kyoya to marry him the next time he had a good day. 

The next several days, he just got worse. He remembered less and slept more, never moving away from Tamaki. While he was still so sick, Tamaki got everything in order for when he asked Kyoya to marry him. His father did him several favors, including going to Kyoya's mother to get her to sign the marriage license so they were able to marry and to surprise Tamaki, he even became ordained so that they didn't have to worry about finding a minister in a rush. 

The next time Kyoya had a good day was on March twenty-eighth. He woke up late in the morning but when he woke, his memory was almost as it normally was before he got sick. He remembered everything except the date and when he was awake, he was fairly lively. He remained curled up in bed with Tamaki but he didn't fall back asleep and when the doctor came into to check on him, he was surprisingly alert. He was also told that his mother had requested he start radiation on Monday. 

After the doctor left, he moved as close as possible to Tamaki and rested his head on his chest, not speaking out of anger. 

Tamaki lightly ran his fingers through his hair and held him close. "I'm not going to let this happen. This is not something that you want and I'm not going to sit by and watch you suffer." 

"As much as I appreciate the thought, there really isn't anything that we can do." Kyoya mumbled and closed his eyes. 

"Actually, yes there is." Tamaki told him quietly. "This really isn't how I wanted this to happen, but," he muttered to himself as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. "Kyoya, will you marry me?" 

He suddenly opened his eyes and sat up. "You can't be serious." He said and looked over at him, seeing Tamaki smiling warmly at him. "You are serious aren't you? If you're doing this just because of what my mother is doing or if it's because I'm dying, then-" 

"That's not why." Tamaki cut him off. "I mean, that's sort of why I'm asking you right now, but that's not why I'm asking you in general. I'm asking because I love you." Tamaki said and sat up as well, awkwardly running his fingers though his hair. "Does that make sense?" 

Kyoya nodded slightly and watched him closely, staying silent for a moment. "Yes." He finally said and smiled softly at him. 

"Yes? You will marry me?" Tamaki asked and smiled widely. 

"Yes, Tamaki. I will marry you." Kyoya said as Tamaki suddenly leaned in and hugged him tightly. He froze slightly before hugging him back as tightly as he could, his grip very weak compared to Tamaki's. 

Tamaki let go of him for a moment to take his hand and put the ring on before wrapping his arms around him again. Kyoya buried his face in his neck and he clung to him, unable to believe that Tamaki actually wanted to marry him even though he was ill. He started to let go of him when he felt Kyoya tighten his grip on the back of his shirt and he frowned slightly. 

"Kyoya? Are you alright?" Tamaki asked softly and held him tightly again as Kyoya only shook his head. "What's wrong?" 

"How can you want to marry me when I'm dying? I'll be gone soon yet you still want to marry me and I don't get that, Tamaki." He whispered and closed his eyes tightly. 

"That doesn't matter to me. I want to marry you no matter what because I love you. No matter how much time we have left, I want to spend that time married to you." Tamaki told him softly. 

Kyoya didn't say anything for a moment, unable to understand why Tamaki would want to marry him and he regretted saying yes although he did want to be married to him. "Don't waste any more of your time on me, Tamaki. We both know that if we get married, I won't be able to remember within the week. I saw how much you smiled when I knew my own name and we don't know if that's ever going to happen again. I may never know you ever again. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring and yet you say that you want to marry me. I don't get it..." 

"I already told you that that doesn't matter to me. I want to marry you, Kyoya. Whether you're sick or not." Tamaki said quietly and kissed the top of his head. "You don't have to understand it. As long as you want to marry me, that's exactly what's going to happen." 

"Tamaki, you don't understand." He mumbled and lifted his head to look at him. 

"Yes I do. I have been here since you got sick and I understand exactly what's going to happen, but I still don't care. I want this." He said seriously and lifted his hands slightly to cup his cheeks. "I want to marry you." He repeated and he looked into his eyes. "I'm not leaving your side even if we aren't married, so there's no reason for you to say no." 

Kyoya tried to look away but he couldn't bring himself to do it. "I don't want to say no, Tamaki..." 

"Then I have no idea why we're still talking about this." He whispered and gently kissed his forehead. "I know you already gave me an answer, but, Kyoya, will you marry me?" 

He laughed softly and a small smile crossed his features. "Yes, but only because you're so persistent." He teased and looked at the ring on his finger. "Where did you get this? It looks like more than you would have been able to afford." 

"It was the ring my father was going to give my mother. He gave it to me so that I could ask you to marry me." Tamaki said and kept an arm wrapped around his waist. "It's yours now. I think it fits perfectly." 

Kyoya smiled softly and rested his head on his shoulder. "A little feminine, but I think you're right. It's very nice." 

Tamaki kissed the top of his head gently and tightened his arm around him. "Since you already agreed to marry me, would you agree to do it right now?" 

"How in the world could you pull off a wedding with only a five minute notice?" Kyoya asked and looked at him, his eyebrows raised slightly. 

"With one text to seven people." He told him and smiled widely. 

"You already had all this planned, didn't you?" He asked, not even needing an answer and he laughed softly. "Alright, sure. I'll marry you right now." Kyoya told him and smiled. 

Tamaki grinned and leaned over to kiss him for a few seconds before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He scrolled through a few messages and then he looked over at him again. "Everyone should be here within a half hour. Haruhi will text me when they're ready." 

He rolled his eyes but he was smiling. "You had every little thing planned from the moment you decided to ask me. You haven't gone overboard have you?" Kyoya asked, trying not to dwell on the fact that Tamaki most likely had everything planned because they had no idea when Kyoya would have a good day again. 

"I don't think so. I mean, I tried not to but I never know. Haruhi and my father didn't yell at me, so I don't think that I did." Tamaki said but he looked like he was deep in thought about it. "I think it will be calm." He finally decided. 

Kyoya laughed and smiled slightly. "I'm going to hold you to that." He said and closed his eyes as he rested against him. "I love you." He whispered and took his hand gently. 

"I love you too." Tamaki said softly and he laced their fingers together. 

They sat in the bed together as they waited for Haruhi's text; Kyoya curled up against Tamaki as he played with his hair. Kyoya tried not to fall asleep but it was extremely difficult when that's all his body wanted to do. Every time he would start to fall asleep, Tamaki would nudge him gently to keep him awake. That went on for almost a half hour before Tamaki got a text from Haruhi saying that they were ready. 

Tamaki got up and went to get a nurse. Elizabeth came back with him and she took out Kyoya's IV as well as detaching him from the heart monitor. She also transferred oxygen tanks. Tamaki brought in a wheelchair and helped Kyoya out of the bed when he was no longer attached to anything, gently lowering him into the wheelchair. 

Once he was settled they left the room and went to the first level of the hospital where there was a small chapel. When they came in, all their friends were waiting for them as were Tamaki's father and Fuyumi. A small smile crossed Kyoya's face and he turned his head to look at Tamaki, smiling happily at him. He was happier at that moment then he had been for weeks. 

"I told you that it wasn't too over the top." Tamaki said and he smiled softly, leaning down to kiss his forehead gently. 

"You were right." He admitted and he smiled, looking around the small chapel. "It's nice." 

Tamaki smiled widely down at him. "I am glad that you like it. I enjoy making you happy, Kyoya." He told him, glad to see Kyoya smile again. He felt warm inside when he saw him smile, but part of him was also extremely saddened as he knew that it could be one of the last times he was truly happy. 

Kyoya smiled slightly back at him for a moment before looking around at their friends. Everyone was already seated and he was able to tell that they were waiting for them and that everything else was ready. 

Tamaki pushed the wheelchair over to the beginning of the aisle and he looked down at him. "Do you want to walk?" He asked, knowing that Kyoya wouldn't want to experience that moment in a wheelchair. 

He immediately nodded, not even taking a moment to think about it. Tamaki didn't say anything and he helped him out of the wheelchair, easily supporting him with one arm as he put the oxygen tank over his shoulder. Kyoya put his arm around his shoulders and he let Tamaki almost completely support him. They started walking down the aisle and Kyoya could barely move his legs, his feet mostly dragging across the ground. 

Tamaki noticed that he was barely moving and he longed to say something but he knew that it would just upset Kyoya so he kept his mouth shut. They made it to the front of the small chapel where they stood before Tamaki's father. Kyoya was able to hold up even less of his weight and he relied almost completely on Tamaki to stay standing. It was one of the only times Tamaki was glad that he was so skinny because it was extremely easy to hold him up, even with only one arm. 

The ceremony was short as everyone was able to tell how weak Kyoya was. A traditional ceremony would have been much longer but within a few minutes, they were already at their vows. Tamaki pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket as he had written his own. 

He pulled Kyoya close, hugging him tightly and looking down at the paper behind his back. "Kyoya, you are the love of my life. When I first came to Japan, I was scared and lonely but then I met you. You did anything I wanted and I know how much of a pain I was, but you were still there for me even if I annoyed you. I could call at any time of day if something was wrong and no matter what, you always answered." Tamaki whispered to him so that only he could hear and he took a deep breath, starting to tear up. He had no idea that Kyoya was already crying as he had his head resting on his shoulder. "I have no idea when I first fell in love with you, but I know I realized it when no matter what I was doing I couldn't get you out of my head. I promise that no matter what happens in the future. I will never ever stop loving you. I have loved you in sickness and in health and there will never be a day where you aren't the most important person in my life. I love you so much..." He muttered, his voice breaking on the last sentence as tears started to run down his face. 

Kyoya was crying slightly but he was also smiling a little bit. "You have been there through everything with me. There is not a single person out there that would put up with me and take care of me like you have. I will be eternally grateful to you and I will love you forever. No matter what." Kyoya whispered, his vows much shorter as he had nothing prepared, but even so they made Tamaki cry even more. 

The rest of the chapel was silent and even though they had no idea what was being said, Fuyumi, Haruhi, and Honey were crying. Yuzuru lightly touched Kyoya's arm to get his attention and when he looked over, he was holding Tamaki's ring. He reached up and took the ring from Yuzuru with a small nod of thanks. 

It took Tamaki a second to realize what was happening but as soon as he saw, he held Kyoya with only his right arm and held out his left hand to him. Kyoya tried to slide the ring onto his finger but his hand was shaking so badly, he couldn't position it correctly. Tamaki moved his hand so that his finger went through the ring, making it much easier for Kyoya once he just had to push it straight on. 

Once the ring was on, Tamaki's father said a few more words that neither of them were really listening to. A moment later, once Yuzuru said to, Tamaki turned his head slightly and kissed Kyoya. The kiss was soft and short but it left both of them smiling softly at each other. Their gazes only broke from each other once their family started clapping for them. 

Kyoya was slightly embarrassed but he was smiling slightly anyway and Tamaki was grinning ear to ear. 

After a moment, Kyoya turned to look at Tamaki. "I need to sit down," he muttered, feeling slightly dizzy again. 

Tamaki immediately nodded and he took him to the front bench, gently lowering him onto it. "Are you alright?" 

Kyoya nodded slightly but he didn't speak. Tamaki sat down on the bench next to him and almost instantly, Kyoya leaned against him and rested his head on his shoulder. He was half conscious, all the excitement having taken its toll on his body. Kyoya's eyes fell shut and he didn't notice as Tamaki moved, getting up and lifting him off of the bench. By the they were back upstairs, Kyoya was completely asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

The majority of the next few days Kyoya spent extremely ill. He was barely able to keep anything down, even any liquid. His memory wasn't as bad as it usually was but it seemed his physical health got worse and worse. It was a steep decline and Tamaki knew that it would have been even worse if he would have had to go through radiation just to make him feel slightly better. He was just glad that Kyoya spent most of his time sleeping because at least then he barely felt anything. His lung infection even came back; much stronger than before. 

It was extremely difficult for him to breath again and no matter how much the doctor pushed for it, Kyoya refused to be intubated. To the doctor's dismay, Tamaki was on Kyoya's side that time and even on the days Kyoya was in terrible pain, the answer was still no. 

When the infection came back, the doctor immediately did tests to find out what the infection was so he could start Kyoya on antibiotics. The antibiotics would mostly be to make him comfortable at that point. With the blood tests and the symptoms he was showing, the doctor concluded that he had Tuberculosis. Once he had a diagnosis, he immediately requested that Tamaki get tested for the infection as he had been exposed. All of his tests came back negative for the infection and though there was a high chance of him getting ill too, he wouldn't wear a mask to protect himself. He didn't care about his own health anymore. 

Tamaki never left his side no matter what. He would spend the days that Kyoya slept watching television, reading, or just pacing the hospital room; rarely able to sit still for long. Always refusing to wear a mask or anything to protect himself. 

Kyoya's condition continued to get worse as they days slid by. His oxygen saturation was usually in the upper eighties and his blood pressure was very low. He was continuously receiving medication from his IV but none of them seemed to help. No matter what he was given, his health never improved in the slightest. His immune system was too weak to fight off any disease even with the assistance of medication. He lost even more weight from not being awake long enough to eat real foods and the doctor was forced to insert a feeding tube. His cancer even started to spread to other parts of his body. 

His lungs were attacked by the cancer cells and within days he could hardly breathe without extra oxygen. With his lungs being attacked by two horrid diseases, his life expectancy was decreased to less than a month without intubation. Tamaki continued to respect his wishes no matter how hard it was to say no to a way to keep Kyoya in his life longer. He knew that if he was intubated, it would never come out again and that was what stopped him from saying yes. 

Tamaki stayed next him, always hoping and praying for one of the days where Kyoya would wake up and be coherent. His wish came true on April third. Kyoya woke up and he was partially aware of what was happening. He was still bedridden, curled up against Tamaki and confused, but he was awake. 

They were quietly watching a movie together when Tamaki heard Kyoya quietly speak to him. "Why are you always here when I wake up? I can tell that you don't work here, but I'm not sure why you're here." He said quietly and though he felt safe next to Tamaki, he barely remembered him. 

Tamaki took a deep breath to calm down as he realized that Kyoya didn't know him. "I made a promise to you that I would always be at your side when you woke up and I fully intend to keep that promise until the day I die." 

"Why would you do that?" Kyoya asked and lifted his head slightly to look at him, his eyes completely blank as if he was staring at a stranger. "That seems odd for a person to do for anyone else." 

"Because you asked me to." Tamaki told him and gazed sadly down at him, hating how badly Kyoya's illness had affected him. 

"Oh, alright." He said and rested his head on Tamaki's chest. He couldn't remember Tamaki's name or why he was so comfortable around him but he was so he didn't pull away. He couldn't understand it, but he felt happy curled up next to him. "I feel like I should know you..." Kyoya mumbled after a moment filled by only his coughing. 

Tamaki swallowed hard before responding. "It's okay that you don't." He told him quietly to keep his voice from breaking. "Don't worry about who am I. Just know that you can trust me." 

Kyoya nodded and slowly closed his eyes before suddenly opening them again, turning his head to look at him. "At least tell me your name." 

"Tamaki. My name is Tamaki." He whispered and reached up to run his fingers lightly through Kyoya's hair. 

Kyoya smiled slightly and laid his head down again, closing his eyes and keeping them closed. He wasn't asleep, he was just content. 

They sat there together for a while, Tamaki playing with Kyoya's hair and Kyoya half asleep. Tamaki watched television but he wasn't focused on it. His thoughts were far away from what was on the screen. He thought about the blank look Kyoya gave him and it almost broke his heart to think that Kyoya forgot him. He knew that it could be permanent and he wasn't sure what upset him more, the look or the idea that that was the only way Kyoya would ever look at him again. He had gotten so used to reading Kyoya's emotions in his eyes that he wouldn't know what to do if there was no longer any emotion directed at him, just indifference. 

Kyoya soon fell asleep again and he did wake again until almost a day later. He was in even worse shape and as soon as he was awake he needed the oxygen mask as the nasal cannula wasn't providing enough oxygen. His entire body felt heavy and he could barely lift his head when Tamaki put the oxygen mask on him. He gazed blankly up at him, his eyes only partially open. 

He had no idea why he felt so bad but he didn't have to energy to care. He just wanted to go back to sleep. He was in terrible pain as every time he took a breath, it felt like his chest was on fire. He was almost in tears because of the pain and Tamaki was extremely upset as there was nothing he could do to help him. Tamaki just lied on the bed next to him and played with his hair, singing softly. Tears rolled down Kyoya's cheek and he was in too much pain to fall asleep. 

He started crying harder, getting himself worked up and he took short, quick breaths that only made the pain worse. It was a vicious cycle as when he panicked, the pain got worse which made him almost hysterical. Tamaki reached over him and pressed the button to call for a nurse as he had no idea how to calm him down. 

When the nurse arrived, she immediately called for the doctor. Once he got there, he ordered a shot of morphine to go along with the IV drip as the drip was no longer enough to keep the pain at bay alone. Both the nurse and the doctor were wearing masks. 

Even with the extra morphine, he was still have trouble breathing. He couldn't catch his breath and he was hyperventilating. He felt like the room around him was spinning and there were bricks on his chest. 

The doctor looked at him before pulling Tamaki aside. "He can't breathe on his own. There are two options. Intubation or to see if he pulls out of it on his own once he calms down. I can't guarantee that he will be able to catch his breath on his own and, in my professional opinion, I don't think he will. Without intubation, he is going to suffocate. If not this time, definitely next time. With how weak his immune system is, I wouldn't be surprised if the TB has caused cavities in his lungs. They will not heal and they will only get worse, causing him more pain. The intubation will allow him to stay alive longer with less pain." The doctor told him seriously. "The infection is destroying his lungs." 

Tamaki was silent for a moment, looking over at Kyoya before he slowly shook his head. "The answer is still no and it's always going to be no. It isn't what Kyoya wanted and I am never going to go against his wishes." 

"Half of the time he doesn't remember what he wanted." The doctor told him. "This is now all your choice." 

"No. It will always be his choice whether he remembers telling me or not." Tamaki told him and finally turned his head to look directly at him. "I am not going to let you intubate him no matter what because that's what I promised him. He's going to pull out of this because he always does. You'll see." He said before turning to walk back to Kyoya. 

"You know he's going to die sooner then, right?" He said and Tamaki stopped in his tracks, turning to him. 

"Of course I do. He's miserable and sometimes death is the better option when someone is this sick. I refuse to make him miserable for longer than necessary. From now until he dies, only do what makes him comfortable because that's what he would have wanted." Tamaki said and he refused to let his voice break as he had to seem strong to stand his ground in front of the doctor. 

The doctor nodded. "If that's your choice then I have to respect it, but I have to tell you that he most likely will not survive the next week." He said before leaving the room, the nurse following. 

Once they were gone, Tamaki let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He slowly made his way back to the bed and he sat down in the chair instead of lying next to him. He took Kyoya's hand and he started to quietly sing to him again until he finally fell asleep. The pain had lessened enough where he was able to be calm enough to sleep. Tamaki glanced over at the monitor and unfortunately, his oxygen saturation was only seventy nine percent. His shoulders sagged and he had no idea if he had made the right choice. 

He knew that he had made the right decision in morality but medically, he wasn't so sure. He continuously had to tell himself that it was what Kyoya wanted and he was only following his wishes. As he looked down at him, he knew that he was right in his decision. Kyoya was dying no matter what and there was no point in making him suffer; he had already suffered so much. 

Tamaki was close to tears as he thought about what the doctor said. He always knew that Kyoya was going to die, but he never thought he would die before his twentieth birthday. No matter how much Tamaki prayed, he was still going to lose Kyoya and there was nothing he could do. 

Tears started streaming down his cheeks as he gazed down at Kyoya, seeing how fragile he was. He didn't think that Kyoya would last the night. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, not hesitating in dialing his father's number. He didn't want to be alone. 

After three rings, his father answered, "Tamaki?" 

As soon as he heard the concern in his voice he started sobbing. "Can you come to the hospital? I think he's going to die." Tamaki managed to choke out and before he could say anything else, his father answered. 

"I'm on my way."


	29. Chapter 29

Tamaki's father got to the hospital in less than ten minutes and before he even had a moment to think, Tamaki was clinging to him, sobbing. He gripped his shoulders and pushed him away slightly to look at his face. He reached up and lightly wiped the tears from his face. He noticed how fragile Tamaki looked as he gazed down at him. Tamaki noticed that he was wearing a mask. 

There were bags under his eyes, his face was slightly gaunt, his hair was greasy, and he had lost a lot of weight. Tamaki was slowly losing himself at the same time he was losing Kyoya. 

"When was the last time you slept? Or ate? Or showered?" Yuzuru asked and he frowned deeply, extremely worried about his son. 

"I slept for a few hours." He answered but he didn't have an answer for the other two questions as he didn't know. All he knew is that he never felt hungry and he refused to leave Kyoya alone long enough for him to shower. His answer about his sleep wasn't even the full truth. He had slept a few hours, in the last three days. "I don't care about any of that." 

"What if you get sick too? You need to take care of yourself like you take care of him." He told him seriously. "You are going to survive this." 

Tamaki shook his head. "That's the thing, I'm not." He said softly and went to sit by Kyoya again, still crying slightly. "He is my life and my life will end with him. I'll still be alive, yes, but I wouldn't call it living or surviving." He muttered and lightly stroked his hair. "I am not going to risk not being with him for something as unnecessary as a shower. I'm not going to leave him alone for more than five minutes." 

He didn't say anything for a while, still standing and he was looking at Tamaki. "Why do you think he's dying now?" He asked, trying to change the subject away from Tamaki's health. 

"He can't breathe and the doctor said he most likely will never be able to catch his breath on his own. His oxygen saturation is too low for it to come back up by itself too." Tamaki responded and his gaze remained fixed on Kyoya. "I've always known he was going to die but until now it didn't seem real. He always got better before but now he's not going to get better and it's all too real all of the sudden." He mumbled and turned his head away as tears streamed heavily down his face again. 

His father walked over to him and he put his hand on Tamaki's shoulder, not speaking. His presence comforted Tamaki slightly and his shoulders sagged as some of the tension left his body. Tears continued to fall down his cheeks. 

Tamaki took slow, deep breaths and he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He rested his elbows on the bed and he put his face in his hands, breathing shakily. "I'm losing him," he muttered, "and there's nothing I can do. What am I going to do?" He asked brokenly, not expecting an answer. "He's known I love him for barely a year and I'm already going to lose him. This isn't fair. This can't be real. I just can't lose him." Tamaki's voice broke as he started to sob into his hands, not longer trying to keep any of his emotions under control as it was pointless. 

Tamaki hated himself for grieving when Kyoya wasn't even gone yet. He had given up all hope even after all the times he had told Kyoya not to give up. He wanted to have hope, he truly did, but, there was something inside of him that knew Kyoya did not have much time left. After so many trips to the hospital and so many days spent struggling not to lose the positive attitude he constantly kept, all of his energy seemed to drain out of him. 

His shoulders sagged and slowly even his crying stopped. He was completely silent as he slowly raised his head and he looked down at Kyoya. He finally allowed himself to see how closed to death his beloved looked. His hair had gotten too long, his face was gaunt, his cheekbones extremely prominent, he was incredibly pale, and he was cyanotic. If it wasn't for the very subtle rise and fall of his chest, he would appear dead. 

Tamaki reached down and gently stroked his hair, his eyes not leaving Kyoya's face. "I am going to miss him so much. I honestly already do." Tamaki said quietly, his words not directed to his father. "He's not dead but some days it seems like it. He's not the same person as he was a year ago and I miss that part of him. Especially how he would only ever smile when he thought that I wasn't looking. I remember thinking that I wanted to show him some day that being happy wasn't something he had to hide. He started smiling at me, but that was only because he was no longer in control of his own mind. I wish he would have smiled at me because he was truly happy..." 

"At first his emotions may have been a reaction of his trauma but I think now he smiles at you because he loves you. You do make him happy, Tamaki." Yuzuru told him quietly and saw as Tamaki smiled just slightly. 

"Maybe you're right, but I still wish that the first time he allowed himself to be happy was on purpose." Tamaki said, sighing softly. "I would give up anything to go back in time to when Kyoya was healthy," he confessed quietly. "If the price was that he would never love me, I would still go back. Nothing else would matter if he was healthy. Even if he didn't love me, he would still be my best friend and I could find a way to be okay with that. I was prepared to anyway, before everything happened and I almost lost him." 

Yuzuru stayed quiet as Tamaki talked, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts. Tamaki was finally opening up and letting his feelings about Kyoya's illness come through and he wasn't going to stop him from venting. Especially if he needed someone to talk to. 

Tamaki swallowed hard before continuing to speak quietly. "I hate to say it, but a part of me wishes that his body would give up. He's in so much pain and even when he doesn't understand it, I can tell that he's terrified of dying. I believe at this point, it would be easier on him if he would just slip away in his sleep. I don't want to lose him, but I can't stand seeing him like this." Tamaki whispered, his voice breaking slightly but he didn't cry. "Even right now he's in pain." Tamaki said though Kyoya looked as peaceful as possible. "It's like I can feel it too. It's probably just my imagination but I know that right now he's hurting." 

Tamaki silently reached over and placed his hand over his heart, applying slight pressure. He glanced up and Kyoya's face a saw him relax even more. "See?" He asked softly, keeping his over his chest as a way to comfort Kyoya. He remembered the many nights Kyoya fell asleep with his back against Tamaki's chest and his hand over the sore spots on his chest. Tamaki's touch had always been able to soothe him enough for him to sleep even when no medications could. 

  
  


Tamaki's father stayed at the hospital with Tamaki for a couple days. He was there to comfort his son when he needed it and he even got Tamaki to take a shower as he agreed to watch Kyoya and get him if anything changed. Nothing about his condition changed for three days. 

On the seventh of April, he woke up for the first time since the fourth. It was about eight o'clock at night when Kyoya woke. He was completely still and completely silent for almost five minutes, watching Tamaki. Kyoya wanted to speak with Tamaki, but he wasn't ready to yet so he remained quiet. He was content just looking at Tamaki and seeing as he smiled slightly at something he was watching on the television. He made it as look as he could without making a noise before he started coughing quietly when he struggled to get oxygen. 

Tamaki immediately turned his head away from the television and he smiled slightly when he saw Kyoya's eyes open, glad his father wasn't there. He was in pain and his eyes were only opened half way but he was coherent. 

Tamaki gazed warmly down at him and he gently pushed his hair away from his face. It was quiet for a moment before Tamaki broke the silence. "Hello, love." 

Kyoya smiled slightly. "Hello." He muttered, his voice barely audible as it was muffled by the oxygen mask. 

Tamaki turned the television off and he moved from sitting on a chair to sitting on the bed next to Kyoya. He reached up and gently ran his fingers through his hair. "How are you feeling?" He asked although he really didn't need to. He knew that Kyoya was barely hanging onto his life. 

"I can't breathe." He mumbled and looked up at Tamaki. He too knew that he was so close to death; he could feel it. 

"I wish there was something I could do." Tamaki told him quietly. 

A slight smile appeared on his face for just a moment. "I appreciate the sentiment. I wish there was something that we could do as well." He whispered and they were both quiet for a moment before, "Tamaki?" 

"Yes?" 

"I'm scared." He told him very softly and his voice broke slightly. "Will you lay with me?" 

Tamaki nodded and moved so that he was able to pull Kyoya into his arms, making it so he was in his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and held him close. 

Kyoya rested his head on Tamaki's shoulder and he breathed raggedly, his eyes barely open. "I'm so tired, but I don't want to go to sleep." He whispered and looked up at Tamaki. "I don't think that I'll wake up this time..." 

"You don't know that. Every time someone has said that you won't make it, you always do. Why should this time be any different?" Tamaki asked softly, hating how aware Kyoya was of his condition. He had thought that he wouldn't have a clue what was going on, but he did and that was worse for both of them. 

"Don't say that. You can feel it too." Kyoya mumbled, trying his hardest not to fall asleep. "You wouldn't look so sad if you didn't believe me." 

Tamaki was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Love, just go to sleep." He whispered and gently kissed his forehead. "You are so tired." Tamaki told him, knowing that he wasn't just sleepy, he was tired of fighting a losing battle, tired of being unable to live free of pain, and tired of being hopeless. What he didn't know was that Kyoya was also tired of making Tamaki absolutely miserable. 

"I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you." He muttered brokenly. "I don't want to fall asleep ever again." He said to him, struggling to keep himself awake and struggling to breathe. "I wish I had a choice." 

"I know this is hard but you'll feel so much better if you go to sleep." Tamaki said quietly and lightly kissed the top of his head. 

Kyoya knew he was right, but it didn't make him want to sleep. He shook his head slightly and reached out to take Tamaki's hand, barely able to grasp it. "I refuse to go to sleep if I can fight it." 

"You can't fight it forever." Tamaki told him and he held his hand tightly, raising it to his lips and kissing the back of it. 

He looked down at Kyoya and he saw how much trouble he was having keeping his eyes open. Kyoya was fighting so hard but Tamaki could tell that he would never be able to beat the exhaustion threatening to overtake him. "Please sleep, my love. You need to." 

Kyoya forced his eyes open completely and he gazed sadly up at Tamaki, tears in his eyes. He was finally giving in. "Will you be here when I wake?" 

"Always." Tamaki whispered and kissed his forehead. "I love you." 

"I love you too." Kyoya whispered and he let his eyes close as he relaxed completely against Tamaki. He was asleep within a minute. 

Tamaki didn't move. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Kyoya and his face was buried in his hair. The room was silent except the slow beeping of the monitor. 

Occasionally there was a beep louder than the others and Tamaki looked up every time. Every beep was Kyoya's oxygen saturation decreasing. Tamaki could tell that Kyoya was struggling to breathe, even more than before. 

Yuzuru came back to the hospital around ten thirty and found Tamaki and Kyoya both sound asleep. Tamaki was still holding him and even in his sleep, his grip didn't loosen. He turned off all the lights except one so that he could see the book he had brought with him. He too eventually fell asleep, sitting on the couch. 

It was almost four thirty in the morning when Tamaki was awoken by the screaming of the monitor. He instantly looked at it and his eyes widened as he saw that his oxygen saturation was zero and his heart was racing. He was suffocating. Tamaki was still holding him and he started crying as he watched Kyoya unable to get any oxygen in his lungs. 

The doctor and two nurses rushed in the room, but they were too late. The monitor was already flatlining and there was nothing that anyone could do. He was gone. 

Tamaki was still for a moment as he heard the doctor recite the time of death and turn the monitor off. It wasn't until the room was silent that the realization sunk in. Kyoya was gone and he was never coming back. 

Tears started to stream down his cheeks and he clung to his body, sobbing. He cried out and everyone in the room flinched; the sound was so full of pain. Tamaki buried his face in his hair and he held him tightly. He sobbed loudly and he rocked back and forth slightly. His entire body shook as he sobbed. He screamed slightly into his hair and he felt like his heart was broken. 

His sobs were loud and full of absolute misery. "Please, no. Oh god no..." He sobbed and he gasped for air before sobbing even louder. His cries filled the room and no one knew what to do. Yuzuru had no idea how to comfort him and the doctor had no idea how to get Kyoya's body from him. 

His father put his hand on his shoulder but he was immediately shaken off. Tamaki didn't want to be comforted as there was nothing that could make him feel better except bringing Kyoya back. He moved away from him and grabbed Tamaki's phone off of the desk, sending a mass text to all of Tamaki's friends. He let them know what happened and soon there was a reply from everyone of them that they were all coming. 

Tamaki was sobbing loudly, unaware of everything that was happening around him. His throat was raw from his sobs and it took almost ten minutes for his sobs to stop completely. Even after he was silent, he refused to let go of Kyoya. He couldn't let go of him or else he would be gone forever. He didn't want to admit to himself that Kyoya was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's one more chapter after this and then I'll need new ideas. If anyone would like to send me prompts or just talk, you can reach me at my tumblr: http://gayduckling37.tumblr.com/ . I really hope to hear from some of you. Your support means so much to me and I highly doubt I would have gotten this story this far without every single one of you.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Enjoy!

The minutes seemed to blur together as Tamaki remained sitting in the hospital bed with Kyoya in his arms. People were trying to talk to him and comfort him, but none of it worked; even when his friends arrived. They tried to comfort him and it wasn't until Haruhi came up to him that he focused on anything but Kyoya. Nothing was said between them as she walked over to him and sat down, wrapping her arm around his waist. 

Her touch was what pulled Tamaki out of his own mind. He finally let go of him and he turned to her, hugging her tightly before starting to cry again. He buried his face in her neck and sobbed. The feeling of her arms around him was a slight comfort for Tamaki as he allowed himself to break down all over again. 

After a few minutes Tamaki felt a hand on his shoulder and he finally gave the doctor permission to take Kyoya's body, barely able to choke out a yes. Tamaki closed his eyes tightly as he felt the pressure leave his lap and he pulled away from Haruhi, covering his mouth as he cried out. He knew that he couldn't cling to him forever but he didn't think that no longer being able to feel him would hurt so badly. He collapsed onto the bed as tears ran down his face. 

He opened his eyes just long enough to see the doctor leave with Kyoya's body; covered and on a gurney. He got to his feet and shoved past everyone else in the room, going into the hallway. His eyes followed them until they were out of sight. 

His breathing quickened and the room around him began to spin. He cried out in agony before dropping to his knees, struggling to stay conscious. Everything became too much for him to handle when Haruhi and his father knelt down next to him. His vision was spotting and he collapsed, feeling his father catch him before he fainted. 

After twenty minutes, he woke up lying in the hospital bed. At first he thought it was just a bad dream before he reached out to touch Kyoya and he wasn't there. That was when he realized that everything was real; he didn't cry. All his tears were dry and no matter how much his chest hurt, his eyes didn't even water. He wanted to cry again, but all he could do was sit there numbly. 

"I want to leave." Tamaki whispered, the first words he had spoken to anyone since he talked with Kyoya the previous night. 

He tried to get up, but his father put a hand on his shoulder. "The doctor would like to speak with you before we leave." 

"Tell him to go to Hell." Tamaki hissed and pushed his hand away, leaving the room before anyone could stop him. "He is not the person I wish to speak with." 

Haruhi followed him but she was smart enough not to say anything. She walked with him to the elevator and they rode it down in silence. It wasn't until they were standing outside waiting for a car when Haruhi spoke. 

"Who is it that you want to talk to?" She asked, looking up at him. 

"I'm not sure talk is the right word. I used it for my father's benefit as I truly have nothing to say to them." Tamaki told her, knowing that she wouldn't need an actual name to figure it out. 

Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head. "Don't do it. He is not worth the time and you could get in a lot of trouble. If you do what I think you're thinking you could be arrested for assault. I am asking you to reconsider this." 

"Well, if I get arrested at least I won't have to go very far." Tamaki said and laughed humorlessly. "I appreciate the concern, but I no longer have anything worth my time so you can't stop me." 

Haruhi sighed, knowing that one thing could change his mind, but she was very hesitant to use it. She decided it was her best choice. "Kyoya wouldn't want you to go to jail for something as vengeful as assaulting his father. He wouldn't want you to do this." 

"Yeah, well, Kyoya's dead and it's all his fault! I am going to make him pay for this!" He screamed and turned to face her, finally able to cry again. "If it wasn't for him then Kyoya would be alive and we wouldn't be having this conversation. There is no way that I'm going to let him think he won! I will make him apologize for what he did!" Tamaki yelled as his driver pulled up. He took a deep breath before looking at her. "Please don't tell anyone where I've gone." He begged. 

"As long as you let me come, this will be our secret." She said, intending to try to keep him under control. She knew that she was the only one that could get under his skin effectively. 

Tamaki considered it for a moment before nodding. "Get in." He held open the door for her. 

She climbed into the car and he followed, telling the driver where to go before pulling out his cellphone. He placed a call to the prison to let them know he was coming and that he would like to visit Yoshio Ootori. 

  
  


The ride to the prison took just under fifteen minutes and the driver let them off at the door after being told by Tamaki to return in ten minutes and to not tell Yuzuru about their visit. 

Tamaki led the way into the prison and he walked up to the officer at the front desk. He showed her his ID then had Haruhi do the same. They were granted access to the prison but they had to wait to be collected by a guard so they could be taken to the visitation area. Once the guard arrived, they were checked for weapons and when they were cleared, the guard led them through the prison. 

When they arrived in the visitation room, Yoshio was already sitting there waiting for them and to Haruhi's surprise, Tamaki was perfectly calm when he saw him. Tamaki was extremely polite as they took their seats at the table across from him. 

They were silent for almost five minutes before Yoshio spoke. "I have to say, I was quite surprised when they informed me who my visitor was. Especially since you are the first person who has come." 

Tamaki was slightly surprised that no one had visited but he didn't speak yet, watching him closely. 

"I assume you came for a reason. I highly doubt that you just wanted to see me." He was taunting him and Tamaki knew it. He also could that Yoshio had a strong idea as to why they were there. 

"I came to inform you that Kyoya has passed." Tamaki told him, barely retaining his composure as he said it out loud for the first time. 

"I thought you would say that." Yoshio said, barely concealing a smirk. "And here I hoped you had important news." He was taunting Tamaki. He knew how angry he was. 

Tamaki barely kept his emotions under check at his comment, but somehow he remained straight faced. "You are now not only a rapist, but a murderer. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't be dead." Tamaki clenched his fists, so close to exploding but he took a deep breath and calmed himself. "I have one question for you. Why? Why hurt him like that when you had enough money to pay anyone to do whatever you wanted?" 

"I think you have an idea, Tamaki. You have always known, because it became worse once you were in his life." He said and smirked. "I refused to have a faggot son. None of the others of my family had produced such as disgrace and I had to fix it. Apparently it didn't work." Yoshio said and looked at the ring on Tamaki's finger. "I'm glad he's dead." He told Tamaki and grinned. 

That was what set Tamaki over the edge. His grin. 

Suddenly Tamaki was on his feet and before anyone could react, he had Yoshio pinned to the ground and was punching him as hard as he could. He got several really good hits to his face, breaking his nose. He also managed to break a rib or two when he tackled him. He relentlessly punched him until he was pulled off of him. It took three guards to get him up as he was fueled purely by adrenaline. The guards cuffed him and took him out of the room. 

Haruhi stood to follow but she was stopped by Yoshio's voice. "Watch out for him. I fear he will be dead by the end of the week if you aren't careful." She wheeled around to face him, prepared to yell that he better leave them alone when she was cut off by his laughing. "Not from me, my dear, but from himself." 

She shook her head at him before quickly leaving the room. By the time she found Tamaki, the hands cuffs were being taken off of him and he was being escorted out of the prison. Haruhi figured Yoshio must have refused to press charges, something she was slightly grateful for. 

Tamaki was outside waiting for her when she came out of the prison. "You're upset." He said without even glancing at her face. "We both knew what was going to happen the moment we entered that place. I don't regret my actions." 

"You should. He wasn't worth almost getting arrested." Haruhi said. "That encounter wasn't good for you." She told him though he looked in a much better mood than he had for weeks. 

"I have wanted to hurt that man since the very first time I watched him lay a hand on Kyoya. I finally got to do just that and it has taken such a weight off my chest that I can't even explain how I feel now. All I know is that I needed him to feel pain and he finally has." Tamaki told and he still hadn't looked at her. "He is a horrid person who deserved exactly what I just did. I think Kyoya would agree with me." 

Haruhi sighed heavily and she changed the subject as the car pulled up. "What do you plan to tell your father about where you went?" 

"The truth." Tamaki answered simply and climbed into the car after Haruhi had. 

They rode in silence for a while, Tamaki staring out the window until he suddenly turned to look at Haruhi, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. "It's my birthday." He whispered in horror, as if he had just realized this. 

"Oh god..." She muttered and her eyes widened slightly. "I am so sorry." 

"I suppose this is officially the worst birthday I've ever had." He laughed humorlessly, trying to stop crying. "Of course I would lose the best thing I have ever had on my birthday." He said, not expecting a response from Haruhi as he turned away again and resumed looking out the window. Tears still streamed down his cheeks but he was completely silent. 

They were silent as they were taken back to Tamaki's house. Everyone else was there when they arrived, waiting worriedly as neither Haruhi nor Tamaki had answered their phone. Tamaki told his dad what he did and Yuzuru was upset but he wasn't going to punish him; he knew how much Tamaki hated the man. He didn't blame Tamaki for losing his temper especially after he was told what was said. 

After the conversation with his father, Tamaki retreated to his room and he stayed there. 

Without Kyoya by his side, he felt constantly empty. He only did the things that would keep him alive and a few things he had to do, such as going to Kyoya's funeral. The entire thing was essentially a show. It was much too extravagant for even Tamaki and he knew Kyoya would have gagged at seeing it. 

Everyone who showed up told him how sorry they were for his loss but he knew it was just a social convention and very few people actually meant it. No one in the funeral home knew anything about Kyoya other than what he had wanted them to. They had no idea that the real Kyoya hated ninety percent of the people that came. 

Tamaki was asked to give the eulogy by Kyoya's mother and he found that he was unable to refuse her request. The original speech was telling people the truth about Kyoya and how no one there actually knew him, but he decided against that. Well, it was more like Haruhi told him not to do it, so he wrote one that was the usual cheesy speech honoring someone's life, whether it was true or not. All that mattered to Tamaki was that the eulogy seemed to affect people especially when he saw most of them crying by the end of it. He just assumed that no one had ever known anything about Kyoya, but he was wrong. Haruhi explained it later that it was Tamaki's emotions that broke through people. Tamaki had gone way off his note cards without realizing it and he had talked about loving him though he swore to himself that he wouldn't. 

It seemed as though he couldn't keep promises to himself or Kyoya. He had promised that he wouldn't talk about being in love and he promised Kyoya that everything would be okay, both of which turned out to be complete lies. 

Even after the funeral, Tamaki's mind dwelled on why he couldn't keep promises no matter how hard he tried. He had only broken one promise to Kyoya, but it was the one that mattered most. He couldn't make everything okay even after telling him that he could. It made him a liar and, in his mind, responsible for Kyoya's death. It was that thought and a letter from Kyoya that made him unable to even get out of bed. He spent all of his time lying in bed, half asleep and curled up with the letter pressed to his chest. 

Every single day he read the letter before trying to sleep. It read: 

_"Tamaki, if you found this it means that disease has overrun my body and I am either dead or dying. I shall assume I have died because you would not be back in our room otherwise. Today is February thirteenth, well now it's the fourteenth, and I am writing this while you sleep in the bed next to me. I have a light on and I have no idea how you sleep so heavily sometimes, but you are peaceful so I am doing my best to stay quiet._

_I am very ill at the moment and I think you've noticed but you are trying not to. You are even taking me out for Valentine's Day though most days I can barely walk straight after a half hour of school. I wish I had the nerve to tell you just how sick I have come to believe I am. That is partially why I writing this, to apologize for hiding something from you once again. Though my main purpose is to thank you for everything you've done for me._

_Even when we weren't extremely close, you did anything for me. You would answer my calls in the middle of the night after a bad dream and now that we are together, you hold me and tell me that I'm safe. You actually care about me, something I deemed impossible a long time ago. I also would like to thank you for giving me a place to belong for the first time in my life. You were actually my friend and you included me in your life, in your crazy scheme to have a host club. I don't think it's as insane anymore though. It could be considered a decent idea. No matter how crazy I thought it was, I said yes because at the time I thought I was bored, now I realize I just wanted to be with you. Your club had a much bigger impact on my life than I had calculated at the time. I had friends and eventually, I got you all to myself. The club wasn't the only place I felt like I belonged, I feel like I belong sitting in this room with you. Our room, as you called it once. You make me feel safe and happy, Tamaki. I love you so much for that._

_I want to tell you one more thing before I go back to sleep. Don't give up on life once I'm gone. I may no longer have a hold on this world but you do. Make it count, Tamaki, for me. You have so much to offer the world and I don't want that to die with me. Please don't let your love and compassion for others die with me. Show the entire world the side of you that would answer my calls in the middle of the night when I was afraid my father would find out that I'm gay. Help other people who don't realize that being different doesn't make them worthless. I'm leaving you every cent I have ever made, please use it to help people like me that don't have people like you in their lives. Use it to give them a place to belong. And, Tamaki, don't forget that I love you and I will always be with you even if I'm not by your side._

_With all my heart, Kyoya Ootori._

_I love you, Tamaki"_

It was the letter that eventually got him to leave his bed and his room. He had to do what Kyoya had asked of him or he would never forgive himself. 

A month after Kyoya's death, Tamaki was given the rights to everything he had owned. Kyoya had made sure that his family would get nothing when he died. To Tamaki's surprise, he didn't even leave anything for his sister. Tamaki's became even more wealthy than before when Kyoya left everything to him. He had no idea how much money Kyoya actually possessed until he saw it. He had known Kyoya made profits on the host club but he didn't realize just how much it really was. Kyoya had been a millionaire even without his family's money. 

When all of it became Tamaki's, he did what was asked of him. He started a foundation and even opened a safe haven for people who were disowned or harmed by their families for being queer. Everyone who worked with him were volunteers and a couple therapists came to talk to the people who needed it for free. Tamaki spent most of his days at the safe haven, usually even sleeping there. All the kids there trusted him and they confided in him. He let them come into his room at night if they had nightmares. Even the people who were his age came to him for help and they all felt like Tamaki was older than he was. He had seen so much and he knew how to help them. He made sure no one that came to him felt worthless. 

He ran the foundation for over six months before even that wasn't enough to drown out the emptiness he felt from not having Kyoya. Tamaki missed him so badly that his thoughts were consumed by what could have happened if he had lived. He started holing himself up in his bedroom at his house again and a young man that Tamaki had helped took over the foundation with the occasional assistance from Haruhi if she wasn't busy at school. The foundation thrived even without him there and that drove him further into depression. Eventually he was forced to get professional help and he was even admitted to the hospital as everyone feared he was going to kill himself. He had revealed that he was suicidal to his doctor. 

Nothing at the hospital helped and he faked being okay so that he could finally go home. After two months in the hospital, they could no longer keep him there as he told everyone he was no longer suicidal. They let him out the morning of April eighth, the anniversary of Kyoya's death and his twentieth birthday. 

His father picked him up from the hospital and as soon they got to the house he locked himself in his room. 

Yuzuru left him alone until he wouldn't answer him when it was time for dinner. He banged on his door and he even called Tamaki's phone but there was no answer. He was forced to use the master key that worked on every door in the house as he was terrified. He knew what happened before he opened the door. 

Tamaki wasn't breathing and he wasn't moving, laying on his side with Kyoya's letter slightly crumpled in his hand. There was another letter on the bed next to him, one in Tamaki's hand writing. It was very brief. 

_"I am so sorry, but I miss him. Don't be upset because we both know that I am far happier now. I'm with him again and I have loved him more than anything else in the world. I could no longer be separate from him. We will be together and we will be happy."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading my story and I appreciate everyone who has taken time out of their day to read this. It's kind of sad that it's over but I had a great time writing every word and I hope everyone had as good of a time as I did. Thank you again.


End file.
